In the ongoing battle for the title of the nation’s second most repulsive preacher (Fred Phelps is pretty much unbeatable in first place), Steven Anderson may have taken the lead over Terry Jones with a recent sermon explaining how he keeps his wife in her proper place by picking her up and carrying her across the room every morning. Hemant has the transcript:
It puts us in the right role of our marriage, showing, like, “Hey, I’m stronger than you. I’m the boss.”…
Right away, it’s a masculine thing. And it’s a feminine thing to be carried. Ok? So basically, what it is, is it’s putting us psychologically and mentally in our proper roles of husband and wife.
“Hey, I’m a man and you’re a woman! I’m gonna pick you up. I’m gonna carry you to that side of the house and carry you back.” Ok?
… I’m not saying this is a necessary part of your morning ritual, ok? I’m not saying, you know, you need to be just like me. But I’m just showing you that I’m taking a decisive action that says, hey, I want my marriage to be right. I want it to be spiritually right. I want God on my side. I want to have the wisdom of God from the Book of Proverbs. I want be in the spirit first thing in the morning. And I want to have a close relationship with my wife that is a Male/Female relationship, not this 50/50 relationship that’s garbage that our world puts out.
It’s a Male/Female relationship. I’m the man. You’re the woman. I’m gonna pick you up and show you that. And if I ever want you to go somewhere that you don’t wanna go, you know what? I’m just showing you, I have the power to pick you up and take you there.
… I’ll tell you right now, I’m not ashamed to preach that. Because, you know what? I have a good marriage.
He could use that exact same justification for getting up every morning and beating the hell out of his wife too. It wouldn’t be terribly surprising if he did, of course. Here’s the video:
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lldayo
March 19, 2013 at 2:04 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I hope some power lifting homosexual physically picks him up someday and says, “You’re MY bitch now!”
glodson
March 19, 2013 at 2:06 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
What happens when he gets back problems from carrying his wife across the room? Does that mean she’s in charge? How about a blown knee?
Alverant
March 19, 2013 at 2:12 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I wonder how he defines “a good marriage”. Maybe we should ask his wife to confirm (assuming stockholm syndrome hasn’t taken over).
Larry
March 19, 2013 at 2:14 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’m not so sure about being the 2nd most repulsive preacher, however. That dude in Indiana who convinced a 17 year old girl to fuck him because Jesus is a pretty strong contender. Anderson’s little ritual is just plain weird but it doesn’t actually harm anyone.
Tabby Lavalamp
March 19, 2013 at 2:15 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I like Anderson in an ironic “this guy is so fucking awful” kind of way.
Why women shouldn’t wear pants – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZQLcDC_1GA
richardelguru
March 19, 2013 at 2:17 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
But it’s not bad, really, ’cause she does get to use the whip and spurs if he won’t get a move on.
d.c.wilson
March 19, 2013 at 2:22 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I wouldn’t be the least surprised if his wife were on the phone to a divorce lawyer at the same time he was bragging about what a “good marriage” he has.
Gretchen
March 19, 2013 at 2:22 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
God wants you to demonstrate to your wife that her will is subject to yours.
That if what she wants and what you want conflict, yours are what matters.
Which means that there is no such thing as rape, because you want sex, and that’s what matters.
There’s no such thing as abuse, because you want things done, whether she wants to do them or not.
Women are not people; they are slaves. They belong to you, and if they defy you they can be punished.
Such is the will of God– remind your woman of it. Daily.
There’s no way in I’m going to watch that video, I’d be afraid I might hurl my monitor across the room.
(Because I’m strong enough. I’m in charge)
matty1
March 19, 2013 at 2:31 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Gretchen, I hate to say it but that was actually common legal doctrine until well into the 20th Century in a lot of places. The wife was seen as an extension of her husband who could no more be punished for abusing her than for abusing his right arm.
Gretchen
March 19, 2013 at 2:35 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Oh, I know. I’m pretty sure it’s still legal doctrine in some.
John Pieret
March 19, 2013 at 2:54 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’m the man.
Wingnut to human translation: “I’m so stupid as to still believe those caveman caricatures about hitting women over the head and dragging them away to make them wives.”
Hey, I’m stronger than you. I’m the boss.
Exactly what part of the Sermon on the Mount did that come from? Oh, he’s not a Christian, he’s an Old Testament patriarch.
Ace of Sevens
March 19, 2013 at 3:14 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Abusing one’s spouse has been illegal in common-law areas since before Blackwell, though enforcement varied. A wife was indeed a legal extension of her husband, but this was about property and liability.
democommie
March 19, 2013 at 3:20 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
His wife is, if anything, batshit KKKrazzeeer than he is; for a sample, go here:
http://www.stevenandersonfamily.blogspot.com/
She’s completely insane and has taught her young children to denounce and rebuke the UNGODLY!
kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith
March 19, 2013 at 3:20 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
If I was his wife, I’d start my very own ritual of holding a knife to his throat every morning as he waks up to remind him that all humans are vulnerable when they sleep, no matter who’s “boss”.
Asshat.
DaveL
March 19, 2013 at 3:25 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Because daily ritual intimidation is totally normal “boss” behaviour.
gingerbaker
March 19, 2013 at 3:26 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
What’s persuasive is that he picks her up and carries her around the room… on his cock.
Synfandel
March 19, 2013 at 3:36 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Dude been reading too much John Norman.
Francisco Bacopa
March 19, 2013 at 3:38 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Such confrontations are risky. Poison is the way to go. Does he live in an area where there are oleander trees? Dose him with oleander sap and then cut his arm with oleander twigs. Tell the doctors at the ER you tried to convince him to go to the doctor after his arm became inflamed when he cut it on a branch he was pruning.
dugglebogey
March 19, 2013 at 3:49 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
What ratio do your God desire? 55-45? I’m thinking in his case it’s about 96-4, so long as the four are cooking, cleaning, laundry and child-bearing.
scottlesch
March 19, 2013 at 3:55 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I noticed that Mrs. Anderson changed the “old Indian ” Daylight Sayings Time story to “Government” from “White Man.”
http://www.stevenandersonfamily.blogspot.com/
Daylight Savings Time that Ben Franklin thought was good idea.
Captain Mike
March 19, 2013 at 3:57 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
If you want to demonstrate to someone that you’re in charge, carrying them around is the wrong way to do it.
GAIUS: It sure is a great day to be a Roman Patriarch, eh Gaius*?
OTHER GAIUS: It sure is. Now I’m going to give my slave a piggy back ride to the market!
* A different one. It was a very common name.
arakasi
March 19, 2013 at 4:14 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
What he is really doing here is telling his wife ” I can overpower you anytime I want. Don’t even think about resisting, because I do whatever I want to you”
I give it 1 in 4 odds that he dies in his sleep with a steak knife in his throat.
thebookofdave
March 19, 2013 at 4:33 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I think Pastor Anderson was revealing his personal spin on the old ‘Footprints in the Sand’ poem. The single set of prints wasn’t a gesture of support in times of crisis. Jesus was just showing who’s boss.
A Hermit
March 19, 2013 at 4:57 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
His wife should take up Judo and insist on best out of three falls to decide who gets to be boss for the day…
Quodlibet
March 19, 2013 at 4:58 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Larry @ #4:
The “little ritual” you describe was part of a sermon. A sermon to indoctrinate his parishoners to the idea that this is a healthy relationship. Consider how the young men and boys in the congregation absorb this preaching, and use it to inform their own attitudes toward women and girls. Consider how the young women and girls in the congregation absorb the lesson that they have no personal or physical autonomy.
I do not understand how this can be characterized as harmless. Without a doubt, this woman-as-chattel attitude nourishes our horrible rape culture.
It is not harmless; it is evil, frightening, despicable, and dangerous.
gorgias
March 19, 2013 at 4:59 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Note how he says “I have a good marriage” and not “WE have a good marriage.”
democommie
March 19, 2013 at 5:07 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
These people and their church have been on the Whackaloon Radar for a couple of years, if memory serves. They are industrial strength fundigelicals. I think he’s done some seriously stupid shit with a gun or got into a scuffle with the border patrol; whatever it was it was enough to get the plug pulled on some security consulting contracts he had on his non-celestial gig.
I guess on the plus side it’s a good thing that Stevieboy is picking up his own wife instead of picking up male hookers, ala Teddy Haggard.
Nemo
March 19, 2013 at 5:45 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
For me, Anderson will always be the “pissing against the wall” guy.
Ichthyic
March 19, 2013 at 6:16 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Five bucks says Anderson is lying about carrying his wife around like a sack of potatoes every morning.
anubisprime
March 19, 2013 at 6:35 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ichthyic @ 29
teawithbertrand
March 19, 2013 at 6:47 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I hadn’t heard of this guy before. I just spent a few minutes on his family blogspot. That was a mistake. A boatload of stupid and crazy there. My heart breaks for this couple’s kids.
Loqi
March 19, 2013 at 7:38 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
That’s odd. My boss at work never picks me up to show me that he’s the boss. I guess he’s doing it wrong. Maybe I’ll walk into his office tomorrow and inform him that if he doesn’t pick me up and carry me around for a while, I’m not going to respect him.
leni
March 19, 2013 at 8:07 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Funny how that “I’m bigger than you” argument never extends to pregnant women and their fetuses.
WMDKitty -- Survivor
March 19, 2013 at 8:35 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“I’m bigger than you, I’m stronger than you, I can force you to do whatever I want, and you can’t do anything about it,” said every abuser, ever.
*shudders*
lofgren
March 19, 2013 at 11:06 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Sometimes I pick up my cat and move him around the room. Does that mean that we have a good marriage?
John Pieret
March 19, 2013 at 11:19 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Sometimes I pick up my cat and move him around the room. Does that mean that we have a good marriage?
Depends on how many tooth and claw scars you have.
dingojack
March 20, 2013 at 12:22 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“The wife was seen as an extension of her husband who could no more be punished for abusing her than for abusing his right arm”.
Wouldn’t ‘self-harming’ be a good excuse for 30 days of involuntary observation at the local psych unit?
If I were his wife I’d say: “Ooh you are so big and strong. You;re sooo much the boss of me. Now show how manly you are and carry me the five miles to the mall, I need to do some grocery shopping, then you can run back another 3 miles to pick up the kids (since you’re the boss of them too) from school and carry them the further 4 miles to [insert name of sport] practice (plus their friends and all their gear) and then come back and carry me all the way home, before running back to the sports ground to pick up and return the kids (and their friends, and all their gear) to their respective homes, as parent and in loco parentis, and therefore in charge, you’ll need to constantly assert your dominance on all under your care by carrying them, right?
You’ll do that, right boss-man, to show just how manly and in charge you are?
’cause nothing says ‘I’m in charge’ like being a beast of burden. It was the donkey that was the boss of Jesus as they entered Jerusalem, dontchknow’.
Dingo
neonsequitur
March 20, 2013 at 1:09 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Oh, please, pleasepleaseplease let everyone who follows his advice and hurts themselves trying to pick up their wives decide to lawyer up all at once and file a class action suit blaming this nutter for telling them to do it!
Raging Bee
March 20, 2013 at 10:59 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’m with Quodlibet on this: what he says he does in private is their affair, and not nearly as bad as most of the abusive behaviors I’ve heard of. (The full extent of what he’s REALLY doing is another question.) When he preaches it in his church, however, especially to younger people who probably don’t really understand how to treat each other and have no other reliable source to learn from, it’s doing real harm — to both the boys and the girls.
This is at least as bad as showing kids cheezy porn and telling them it’s how normal couples make love.
democommie
March 20, 2013 at 11:13 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“This is at least as bad as showing kids cheezy porn and telling them it’s how normal couples make love.”
NOW you tell me!
thumper1990
March 20, 2013 at 1:46 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@Larry #4
No, apart from the fact he’s psychologically abusing his wife, he’s not harming anyone.
/snark
cry4turtles
March 20, 2013 at 4:12 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
If I was his wife I’d eat like a water buffalo and then dare him to pick me up in six months, and then laugh my double chin off when he shits himself. Sweeeet!