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Mar 15 2013

A ‘Concerned’ — and Abysmally Ignorant — Minnesotan Speaks

The Minnesota House of Representatives is holding hearings on a bill to legalize same-sex marriage in that state and they’re hearing from some terribly ignorant people. You have to watch this video of Mike Frey, who calls himself a “concerned Minnesotan father and husband.” What he should be concerned about is his rank ignorance. CityPages has the transcript:

My name is Mike Frey. I speak as a concerned Minnesotan father and husband. And the thing about same sex marriage is that, people who are married, do have sex. And when same-sex people are married, they do have sex, there’s something called sodomy. Sodomy defined in Minnesota is sex by or with the mouth or through the anus. When there is ejaculation into a vagina, there is a barrier there, as in your packet it states there, of a cellular tissue that doesn’t allow the sperm — that has an enzyme at the head of it, to penetrate the blood flow. It is designed to go to the egg — that enzyme is designed to burn the outside membrane of the egg cell — go inside the egg, and then deposit the DNA. We call that conception.

When ejaculation occurs inside of a colon it is a highly absorbent material, the cells do not have a barrier for the sperm and those enzymes to enter into the bloodflow. When the enzymes enter into the bloodflow and a continued, prolonged, um, environment to that happens these enzymes into bloodflow it causes what we know as AIDS — acquired immune deficiency syndrome. AIDS of course brings on common diseases, colds and things, and it magnifies them to a point where it’s unhealthy. Not only does it strengthen the disease within the carrier of AIDS — the person that has a destroyed immune system — but it also strengthens the disease that can be spread to the society at large.

There is an example in Los Angeles County, California, where among the gay community a rash almost like boils, and a very raw skin broke out on the hands, feet, butt, mouth of these gay communities and they couldn’t find a cure for it for a long time. Their doctors called the Centers for Disease Control and they couldn’t find this cure for it. The cure they found, a very extrenuous [sic] antibiotic, was Zyvox. It cost $2,400 for one course of use.

I urge you to vote against the changes inside this bill, because it’s going to put a health risk for the society at large and it’s going to put a financial burden on the people of Minnesota to be able to support all the diseases that will come out of this.

Now, almost all of that is factually incorrect. In fact, it’s total bullshit. AIDS is not caused by the mixing of sperm and colon enzymes, for crying out loud. But even if it was 100% true, it has nothing to do with the law being considered. Does he think that if you prevent gay people from getting married, they’ll just stop being gay? Here’s the video:

27 comments

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  1. 1
    iknklast

    There you go again, Ed, insisting on scientific accuracy when the morals of our children are at stake! Can’t you just suspend your disbelief and pretend along with him for a bit? Then you’ll be suitably terrified, and you’ll understand why we must deprive a class of individuals of their rights. (snark)

  2. 2
    Modusoperandi

    EDBRATYON STOP THEGAYS FROM HAVING MARRIED!!! iF WE DONT’, SOTOMY!!! DO THE MATH: GAY MARRIDGE + GAYHOMO + SPREM HEADS =BUMSEXAIDS!!!
    THINK ABOUT IT!!!

  3. 3
    matty1

    Sodomy defined in Minnesota is sex by or with the mouth or through the anus.

    And no opposite sex couple has ever done such things, right?

  4. 4
    Johnny Vector

    “Not even wrong.”

  5. 5
    dingojack

    OMG!!! StoP, TEy HeTro AnAl Sex, tO oTHerwiz coLon EnZim and; SpERM enXim MergE = AIDS
    Do tEH mAtTh PEaple !!elEVntY!!!
    DiNgO
    =====
    Oh and the contrails, the contrails!!!!

  6. 6
    Pteryxx

    …what is this I don’t even

    Trying to figure out the Worst Episode Ever of The X-Files is as big a mystery as most of the X-Files themselves. Still, if you had to pick, you probably couldn’t do much worse than “Fight Club,” a tale of bad wrestlers, multiple Kathy Griffins, and rage transmitted through semen.

    http://io9.com/mulder-and-scully-reveal-the-dire-consequences-of-hate-453844972 (emphasis mine)

  7. 7
    Reginald Selkirk

    What he should be concerned about is his rank ignorance.

    What he should be concerned about is the happiness of Rob Portman’s son. Because clearly no one else’s son or daughter matters.

  8. 8
    Gretchen

    There is an example in Los Angeles County, California, where among the gay community a rash almost like boils, and a very raw skin broke out on the hands, feet, butt, mouth of these gay communities

    Doctor, doctor, my community has butt boils!

  9. 9
    John Pieret

    I think I know what is wrong with Frey:

    http://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/MjAxMi1hNzYyMzhmNWI3ZDcxYTgw

    … and it even explains why he is so obsessed with anal sex.

  10. 10
    The Lorax

    I think the best part about Modusoperandi is that he crafts his responses like an artist. I sometimes imagine him sitting in front of his warm, glowing screen, his fingers hovering over they keys, his eyes darting about the text he has so far, as he carefully considers each particular word for its own, unique, precisely incorrect spelling.

  11. 11
    tuxedocartman

    Someone took their preacher/ abstinence-only sex educator a *wee* bit too literally when they told him sex can only happen in a marriage, if he thinks preventing gay marriage prevents gay sex.

    @matty 1, #3: Not him or anyone he knows.

  12. 12
    matty1

    if he thinks preventing gay marriage prevents gay sex.

    You have to read this post with the next one to get the full effect but effectively yes some people believe marriage should be a sex licence and unlicensed sex a crime.

  13. 13
    Captain Mike

    Aiieee! The stupid, it burns!

  14. 14
    DaveL

    Somebody should warn all the lesbians in Minnesota about the dangers of ejaculating their sperm into their partner’s anus.

  15. 15
    JohnnyAl

    So, I guess he’s OK with lesbians getting married since there’s no sperm involved in their sexual activities.

  16. 16
    DaveL

    Sodomy defined in Minnesota is sex by or with the mouth or through the anus.

    Did this guy just stand up in a public meeting and imply that he won’t go down on his wife for fear of catching AIDS?

  17. 17
    theguy

    “The cure they found, a very extrenuous [sic] antibiotic, was Zyvox. It cost $2,400 for one course of use.”

    Anti-gay and anti-universal-healthcare at the same time. Typical.

  18. 18
    Who Knows?

    So, who is Mike Frey and why do his opinions matter in Minesota?

  19. 19
    Draken

    This fractally wrong guy is a Baptist pastor, for crying out loud.

  20. 20
    TxSkeptic

    Why, oh why was the crowd not roaring in laughter at this guy?

  21. 21
    Reginald Selkirk

    Draken #19: This fractally wrong guy is a Baptist pastor, for crying out loud.

    Waconia? That’s not even in Bachmann’s district.

  22. 22
    d.c.wilson

    Did this guy just stand up in a public meeting and imply that he won’t go down on his wife for fear of catching AIDS?

    Only if he thinks that going down on her will result in sperm being shot up his ass. Which he may actually believe.

    But I’m sure he doesn’t go down on her because, you know, “sin”.

    I feel sorry for his wife.

  23. 23
    mvemjsun

    The churches must teach this BS; my own mom tried to tell me that gay sex caused AIDS. And was surprised when I told her the truth.

  24. 24
    Rip Steakface

    Sodomy defined in Minnesota is sex by or with the mouth or through the anus.

    Shit, I’m a straight, male virgin and I’ve committed sodomy by this definition. Oh well!

  25. 25
    whirligig

    I read that whole transcript in Hank Hill’s voice. I don’t want to watch the video because it might ruin it.

  26. 26
    democommie

    Frey’s a fucking moron and a homophobe.

    @20. Yes. What is required is for more people to go to these meetings and point and laugh at idiots like Frey. And be ready to hand out literature to those who want the facts.

  27. 27
    martinc

    Frankly, if the traditional jokes about heterosexual marriage are anything to go by, his medical worries should lead him to support gay marriage because it will decrease the incidence of gay sex.

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