Rand Paul Wants ‘Spiritual Cleansing’


Rand Paul called into Glenn Beck’s show and blathered on about how important it is for people to pray for him. He also says that our problems aren’t political, we need a “spiritual cleansing” because something “really depraved is rising in the country.”

“I think that our country needs a spiritual cleansing. I really think we need a revival in this country — and I do need your prayers and I do need the strength to go on with this, because this isn’t always easy…

I think our country’s problems are deeper than political — that we need spiritual leaders to come forward. We need something beyond just the politics of the day and, you know, I see it everywhere — something really depraved is rising in the country.”

What the hell does that even mean? What is a “spiritual cleansing” other than “people should stop doing things I don’t think they should do even if it has nothing to do with me”? This is just catnip for authoritarian busybodies.

Comments

  1. Didaktylos says

    Ethnic Cleansing = Massacre people of the “wrong” ethnicity.

    Spiritual Cleansing = Massacre people of the “wrong” spirituality?

  2. raven says

    Routine fundie xian gibberish.

    something really depraved is rising in the country. Meaningless if you don’t know what it is.

    I assume this is a dog whistle for satan and demons, or women, gays, Democrats, nowhites, nonxians, educated people, and normal people.

  3. unbound says

    “really depraved is rising in the country.”

    Actually, I do agree with the sentiments. Unfortunately for Rand Paul, he is one of those really depraved things…

  4. busterggi says

    “I really think we need a revival in this country ”

    translation – the US needs to be more like Iran

  5. raven says

    I really think we need a revival in this country

    Translating from fundie to English, we need more right wing extremists with brains the size of walnuts who will let us do anything to them as long as we say jesus a lot.

    What is really happening is US xianity is dying, killed off by Rand Paul and the rest of the fundie xians. When xian became synonymous with idiot, liar, hater, crazy, and sometimes killer, a lot of people didn’t want to be one any more.

  6. justsomeguy says

    Methinks the senator needs to reacquaint himself with what the all-knowing überfrau Ayn Rand had to say about religion and holy men.

  7. Reginald Selkirk says

    “and, you know, I see it everywhere — something really depraved is rising in the country.”

    We had a saying when I was young that seems appropriate to the occasion: “He who smelt it dealt it.”

  8. says

    … we need spiritual leaders to come forward. We need something beyond just the politics of the day …

    …something that doesn’t inconvenience Rand Paul or any of his chums.

  9. says

    You know all thosed goofy, “Chicken Soup for the—(fill in the blank” books? Well, I see a reptilican analog in the offing.

    “KKKrazzepants Word Salad for the RWA…” and cetera.

  10. ArtK says

    Hmmm… can one accomplish spiritual cleansing with a coffee enema? Is there a Christian housewares store where you can buy “spiritual cleanser?” If yes, is that like Ajax, but with ground up bits of the True Cross? Can it be used as a dessert topping as well?

    I think that Rand Paul should start by cleansing himself. Perhaps by joining a Flagellant society. He could at least start by wearing a hair shirt.

  11. raven says

    What’s really depraved is their indifference to the problems in this country.

    They and Rand Paul are part of the problems in this country.

  12. says

    I’m thinking that if a psychotherapist read this he or she would surmise that Rand is having a breakdown and reaching out and came to the bottom of his call list. Tomorrow everything will be fine. How did such a dweeb get elected?

  13. Acolyte of Sagan says

    So how do you American atheists like being called ‘depraved’? because as sure as eggs are eggs it’s you he’s slandering.
    As it happens I’m a British atheist; does that make me depraved by association?

  14. baal says

    @ #10 lofgren, I was hoping for the spiritual cleansing to happen before the spiritual sodomy in hopes on limiting possible spiritual accidents or spiritual big messes.

  15. says

    If Rand thinks that a “Spiritual Cleansing” will unblock his colon I have some more sensible advice, “Pull your fucking head out of your ass.”.

  16. says

    I think our country’s problems are deeper than political — that we need spiritual leaders to come forward. We need something beyond just the politics of the day and, you know, I see it everywhere — something really depraved is rising in the country.”

    Let me take a stab at translating this gibberish:

    “As a rightwing authoritarian politician, I plan on doing fuck all about the real problems facing this country, so pray for a miracle while I use the connections I’m making as a senator to line my pockets.”

  17. says

    America needs Creedance Clearwater Revival. If only someone could convince John Fogerty to drop his grudge with Stu Cook and Doug Clifford, and vice versa.

  18. shouldbeworking says

    CCRerevived would need to rewrite one of my favourite songs to be ‘Bad Loon Rising’ in honour of the Tea Party.

  19. Michael Heath says

    Ed writes:

    This is just catnip for authoritarian busybodies.

    Ironically accurate observation; ironic given Sen. Paul’s been ramping up the libertarian rhetoric lately; specifically using the small ‘l’ word when positioning his brand relative to other Republicans seeking to become a national party leader.

    Of course this irony is not surprising, conservative libertarians have long acted as authoritarians, and/or social dominators whose following are largely authoritarians.

  20. hunter says

    . . . something “really depraved is rising in the country.”

    Yeah — it’s what passes for Christianity on the fringe right.

  21. jba55 says

    “our country needs a spiritual cleansing”

    When I read this what popped into my mind was the scene in the first Tim Burton Batman movie where Jack Nicholson as the Joker says: “This town needs an enema! *phweee*”. Course I’d actually expect the Joker to do something about it whereas Mr Paul is just a clown.

  22. paulburnett says

    Didaktylos (#1) wrote “Ethnic Cleansing = Massacre people of the “wrong” ethnicity. Spiritual Cleansing = Massacre people of the “wrong” spirituality?”

    That’s right – that’s fundie-speak for killing all the non-fundies in the Final Battle. Their madrassas have been grooming their home-schooled ignorami to be cannon fodder for decades.

  23. Pyra says

    The nincompoops that surround me really should feel shame. Instead, they feel pride. Mr. toiletclogger Rand really does need enemas since he seems to have to flush his new-fangled water saving toilets ten times because them mean ol’ feminist abortionists forced his toilets to be economical…. *grrrr* Every time I see his name I cringe. Anyone have funds to get me moved out of here?

  24. Dawn Smith says

    That something “depraved” is compassion and the “We are all in this together” mentality. Rand wants a society where it is every man for himself and no safety net for you if you fall.

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