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Feb 14 2013

Glenn Beck and the Man on the Moon

As I’ve mentioned before, Glenn Beck is on a crusade to change the 4th of July celebration and he’s producing a live show from Salt Lake City this year to “tell the American story from a point of view you’ve never heard before” — the man on the moon.

Amusingly, he says “it’s not a historian’s point of view, not my point of view. Who knows the history of America better than anybody else? Somebody who would know the history of the entire world and has watched men make the same mistakes over and over again and has waited — waited — for somebody to just keep continuing to look up, even in the good times. This year we’ll tell the American story from the perspective of…the man in the moon.”

So it’s not a historian’s perspective, it’s not Glenn Beck’s perspective, it’s the man in the moon’s perspective. Does he actually think that the man in the moon exists? Because I’m pretty sure there is no man in the moon, which means there can’t be any such perspective. It can only be Glenn Beck inventing a character to spout his own views. This is really quite weird, even for Beck.

22 comments

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  1. 1
    Sastra

    Look — the tides go in, the tides go out. You can’t explain that.

    Has to be a Man in the Moon. Fact.

  2. 2
    Doug Little

    I wish Glen Beck was the man on the moon, preferably with no space suit. Maybe he can have Buzz Aldrin on and Buzz can punch him in the face.

  3. 3
    raven

    from Salt Lake City this year to “tell the American story from a point of view you’ve never heard before” — the man on the moon.

    That should be men on the moon.

    According to a Mormon belief from Joseph Smith, the moon is inhabited by tall men dressing like Quakers.

    The fact that the astronauts didn’t see any of them has dented but not destroyed that belief.

  4. 4
    raven

    Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, and Extraterrestrial Quakers!
    www. watchman. org/lds/moonmen.htm

    Mormon author Van Hale, in an effort to defend Joseph Smith’s strange teaching says: “Did Joseph Smith believe in an inhabited moon? From the historical …

    There are still a few Mormons who believe this. I don’t know how many though or care enough to find out.

  5. 5
    ragingapathy

    He’s using his powers of Super Objectivity to step outside the usual phenomenological realm and offer the Wisdom of the Q Continuum.

  6. 6
    Kevin, Youhao Huo Mao

    Personally, I prefer the rabbit in the moon.

  7. 7
    d.c.wilson

    I love it . . . when Beck . . . Thinks he’s … Being … Profound because …. He …. Starts talking ….very …. Slowly with lots …. Of …. Random … Pauses …. That make …. Him sound like ….. Captain …. Kirk ….. On downers.

  8. 8
    abbeycadabra

    This sounds like a book in a horrible Harry Potter-esque children’s series: “Glenn Beck and the Man in the Moon”

  9. 9
    kylawyer

    I don’t think Beck really means a man on the moon that orbits the earth. I think he is referring to the pimple on his ass, since he thinks he’s so profound and intelligent. I think he’s going to drop trou and moon us us all to talk to his man on the moon.

  10. 10
    eric

    “it’s not a historian’s point of view, not my point of view…

    What a jackass. He obviously knows its crap before he even puts it out. A pundit, historian, or storyteller could legitimately use this approach, but in legitimate cases they’d descibe it something like “here’s how I think the man in the moon would see US history, if there was a man in the moon.”

    The fact that he introduces his own storytelling piece as “not my point of view” is a pretty big signal what you’re about to get is going to be embarrasingly bad.

  11. 11
    Reginald Selkirk

    Who knows the history of America better than anybody else?

    David Barton?

  12. 12
    eric

    Here’s my own take on the moon’s view of the US:
    1600s – early 1800s: “Hmmm…it seems to be changing color from green to brown. They must be cutting down a lot of trees.”

    Early 1800s – late 1800s: “Ooohh, look at the pretty gaslights.”

    Late 1800s-1960s: “Wow, that’s a lot of lights.”

    August 6, 1945 – August 9, 1945: “Those are some big freaking explosions.”

    1960s-1970s: “Holy crap, they’re firing rockets at me! Fortunately the warheads don’t seem to do much. A lot less than the ones they used on all those Pacific islanders in the last 20-30 years. I wonder what those islands did to deserve such a whalloping?”

    1970s-present: “More lights. This is getting boring.”

  13. 13
    vmanis1

    OK, so let me get this clear. Procter and Gamble, whose man-in-the-moon logo demonstrates that it donates money to the Church of Satan [*], is funding Glenn Beck to promulgate its version of history. David Barton quoted Ben Franklin as saying `America is the country of Satan’ [*]. And now they are trying to propagate the false story that there were men on the moon [**}. I get it.

    [*] Not intended to be a true statement. [**] See the documentary Capricorn One for a full, if completely fictional, refutation of the man-on-the-moon narrative.

    By the way, in researching this comment, I discovered that P&G has sued Amway (now Alticore) several times over various claims by Amway that P&G has some connection with Satanism. http://www.snopes.com/business/alliance/procter.asp

  14. 14
    Ichthyic

    Because I’m pretty sure there is no man in the moon, which means there can’t be any such perspective.

    Projecting onto empty chairs has become all the rage these days. Didn’t you see the GoP convention?

  15. 15
    jnorris

    Marvel Comics does have a humanoid person living on the Moon watching the Earth. He is called the Watcher. Now Glenn Beck is channeling comic book characters. At least its a new character. I’ve grown tired of his channeling Daffy Duck.

  16. 16
    Doug Little

    Eric @12

    I wonder what the moon thought of the LCROSS impact?

  17. 17
    tacitus
    “it’s not a historian’s point of view, not my point of view…

    What a jackass. He obviously knows its crap before he even puts it out. A pundit, historian, or storyteller could legitimately use this approach, but in legitimate cases they’d descibe it something like “here’s how I think the man in the moon would see US history, if there was a man in the moon.”

    The fact that he introduces his own storytelling piece as “not my point of view” is a pretty big signal what you’re about to get is going to be embarrasingly bad.

    I think you give Beck way too much credit. I agree that the “man in the moon” can be a legit storytelling device — a way of establishing a perspective from which to recount the unfolding of history and the inevitable repeated mistakes made along the way — but there’s no way Beck believes the content of this new show is crap. He almost certainly believes that it will contain amazing insights that have never been so brilliantly presented to the public before.

    The “not me” thing is a common device used by conspiracy theorists to legitimize their own delusions. Beck want his audience to believe he is merely the conduit that will lead you to the same inevitable conclusions that anyone would make if only their eyes and minds were truly open.

    In other words, the man-in-the-moon is an attempt by Beck to make us believe that the content of the show is about much more than some half-baked ideas he cooked up in that overheated mind of his one day.

  18. 18
    some bastard on the internet

    When you’re batshit crazy and a complete loon,
    who do you turn to, but the Man in the Moon?
    Where you’re comin’ from, no one knows or cares,
    ’cause there ain’t a brain up there, yeah!
    You know it’s just dust up there!

  19. 19
    dingojack

    Psst Glenny – it ain’t a man, it’s an obelisk!
    Dingo

  20. 20
    lofgren

    In all seriousness, this is something that drives me absolutely bonkers about the religious. From fundie to liberal, they refuse to own their own opinions. “It’s not what I think, it’s what God says,” is the same as saying “It’s not what I ‘think,’ it’s just the way I interpret a story that I have arbitrarily decided is more important than all other stories.” And that’s the case whether you are talking about the Golden Rule or killing homosexuals. And then suddenly we have derailed the conversation, whatever it might have been before, into an undergrad early Hebrew lit. seminar.

  21. 21
    glenmorangie10

    This is actually pretty impressive. Uatu is usually very reluctant to grant an interview.

  22. 22
    puppygod

    Personally, I prefer the rabbit in the moon.

    Wow. I thought that I’m only 東方 Project fan here. Nice.

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