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Feb 09 2013

Cahn on 9/11 and Marriage Equality

The Worldnutdaily’s favorite Messianic Christian nutball, Jonathan Cahn, went on a Christian talk show and said that 9/11 was allowed by God as a warning for us and that if we legalize same-sex marriage, it will mean we’ve missed the message. So apparently God sends hateful Muslim anti-gay bigots to destroy things in order to allow hateful Christian anti-gay bigots to argue that we must all be hateful anti-gay bigots. Or God will beat us up some more.

15 comments

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  1. 1
    slc1

    Just as a matter of information, are there any non-nutcases who wrote for the whacknutdaily?

  2. 2
    Didaktylos

    @#1 – you don’t have to be a nutcase when you start working at WND – time takes care of any deficiency.

  3. 3
    grumpyoldfart

    That message has worked for 2,000 years. They won’t be changing it any time soon.

    Who was it who said believe or be damned? Oh that’s right, old JC himself.
    http://bible.cc/mark/16-16.htm
    http://bible.cc/john/3-18.htm
    http://bible.cc/john/3-36.htm

  4. 4
    AsqJames

    So was 7/7 a similar warning to the UK?

    Because it looks like we didn’t get the message ;).

  5. 5
    dingojack

    So what was the Canadian equivalent to Muslim nut-cases flying passenger jets into skyscrapers?
    Mustamisdit.
    Dingo

  6. 6
    Nihilismus

    The fact that someone has to tell us what the message was means that God is a horrible messenger. Also, 9/11 happened over two years before the first state recognized same-sex marriage, so we were punished as a warning not to do something we hadn’t even done yet?

  7. 7
    Larry

    Why does their sky fairy insist on making such obscure points with such violent actions? Wouldn’t it be much more clear for it to paint a big sign in the sky using clouds letting us know precisely what we are supposed to do or not do? Nobody gets killed and the message gets across.

  8. 8
    Bronze Dog

    I thought 9/11 was a message to fight theocracy and “moral” systems involving divine bribery… Not a message from any god, though, but from causality, poetically anthropomorphized.

  9. 9
    Johnny Au Gratin

    That message has worked for 2,000 years. They won’t be changing it any time soon.
    That message has worked a lot longer than 2000 years. That’s just how long there has been this particular reference manual available.

  10. 10
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    It seems that the big sky daddy is unable to make his intentions clear.

  11. 11
    Argle Bargle

    So what was the Canadian equivalent to Muslim nut-cases flying passenger jets into skyscrapers?

    The Tim Hortons-Wendys merger.

  12. 12
    Trebuchet

    @Larry, #7:

    Why does their sky fairy insist on making such obscure points with such violent actions? Wouldn’t it be much more clear for it to paint a big sign in the sky using clouds letting us know precisely what we are supposed to do or not do? Nobody gets killed and the message gets across.

    In Comic Sans, of course!

  13. 13
    jnorris

    MEMO
    TO: God
    RE: Clearer Messages

    The PR people did a quick one and ran it up the lag pole.
    Results: start with a precise and short message about your displeasure in humans
    Include details about any planned catastrophe intended to reinforce said message.
    Conclude, post catastrophe, with a statement of love.
    Survey says 78.2% approve this strategy.
    *
    See you next Saturday for golf and drinks?
    LCFR

  14. 14
    neike

    The Islamists aren’t evil, they are divine will…

  15. 15
    Crudely Wrott

    In reply to Larry @#7, I’ve a better suggestion. Why doesn’t this god thing take advantage of the night sky? After all, it is full of little points of light which it could easily treat as pixels. You know, like we do on our computer screens.

    All it would have to do is spend its day rearranging the pixels into the text message o’ the day. Like a cosmic tweet.

    That would get some attention, I’ll tell you. Of course, it may be a strain to include the requisite amount of threat and invective in 140 characters but then it is supposed to be such a great character that one could reasonably think it just might be possible.

    After all, astronomers, who would likely be the first to notice and could record each tweet, have long been honored if not revered by the common people so each night could contain a little bit of nasty and a little bit of nice. Before long the little people would just eat it up and the fat cats would have little choice but to fall in line.

    I don’t see why that should be any problem for the thing that hung those little lamps up there in the first place.

    We should try to find some people who would put that in the prayers they offer up to it and see what happens, eh?

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