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Feb 05 2013

Two Peas in a Wingnut Pod

Larry Klayman, aka the worst lawyer in America not named Mat Staver or Orly Taitz, points to Beyonce apparently lip-synching the national anthem (to her own voice, which she had recorded) and says that she and Obama are two peas in a pod. But his column points to other, unnoticed similarities:

Thus, as various eligibility challenges – several of which I have filed for voters and rival presidential candidates in Alabama and Florida (see www.larryklayman.com) – wind their way through the courts, the stakes are gargantuan in terms of Obama’s legal future and our own lives and the life of the nation as a whole. And, if we can find that one judge and legal forum who and which will show some courage in this age of cowardice, and rule that Obama is not eligible under the U.S. Constitution to be president, then perhaps we will not only be able to nullify ALL of his illegal executive orders to date, but also force him to resign “Watergate Nixon” style. In Alabama, for instance, our case, filed on behalf of voter Hugh McInnish and 2012 presidential candidate Virgil Goode, is now before Chief Justice Roy Moore and his colleagues on the Alabama Supreme Court. If there is one judge who has the requisite courage in this land, it is the Ten Commandments champion Chief Justice Roy Moore.

Klayman and Moore sounds like a match made on Planet Wingnuttia. Oh, but there’s more:

But notwithstanding these lawsuits, Obama and his accomplices also need to be held criminally liable for the fraud they have perpetrated on the nation. That is why in the next few weeks I will be seeking his criminal indictment before a citizens grand jury in Ocala, Fla. As the citizens prosecutor, once a true bill is returned, I will seek to arraign Obama and try him before a citizens court. While we cannot expect the government to itself enforce any conviction, the people do have this right. On my watch, this will be undertaken legally and peacefully, hopefully creating additional pressure on Obama to resign his presidency and ultimately land him in prison for his fraud on the country.

Some of you may say that all of this is foolish wishful thinking. To this I would reply, so too was the inspirational vision of Founding Fathers like John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin and George Washington to win the declared war with the British Empire and create a free nation. Their prayers and dream of a free republic was heard and acted upon by the ultimate Judge, our Lord and Savior. And, if it can happen once, it can happen again, before all is otherwise lost.

They’ll be holding that “citizens court” in a barn owned by Larry’s Uncle Elmer, next to the still.

29 comments

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  1. 1
    lldayo

    And if (when) this all fails can Larry be arrested for attempted treason and overthrow of the US government? Will he try the same thing when Biden steps in as president?

  2. 2
    The Lorax

    Hah, wow… it sounded pretty genuine for a bit there, even reached a crescendo when he invoked the Founding Fathers. Then the last bit… *sigh* that last bit.

    Oh well. Nice to see someone invoking their freedoms as a US citizen, at least. Even if it’s for bat-shit insane reasons and reasoning.

  3. 3
    eric

    Remind me again where all this ‘citizens’ court’ stuff came from. Is there some vague reference to it in historical documents or are they making it up whole cloth? Did they co-opt it from some earlier nut group (like federal tax deniers), or was it developed just for Obama?

  4. 4
    John Pieret

    Some of you may say that all of this is foolish wishful thinking.

    I’d add a few words … “lunatic,” “delusional,” “laughter-inducing,” “stupid” …

    If I cared enough I’m sure I could come up with many more.

  5. 5
    Wes

    Some of you may say that all of this is foolish wishful thinking.

    I have a few other choice words for it as well…

    To this I would reply, so too was the inspirational vision of Founding Fathers like John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin and George Washington to win the declared war with the British Empire and create a free nation.

    Maybe I should try this. I bet I’d feel better about myself if I compared every petty, stupid thing I do to the Founding Fathers. “Dude! I was just like George Washington eating those bacon and eggs for breakfast this morning! What I do is important and meaningful! I won’t be utterly forgotten and ignored in the future!”

  6. 6
    Mr Ed

    It is fun to read if you imagine a choir softly humming the Battle Hymn of the Republic while he stands in front of a huge waving flag over enunciation the whole speech. Where is George C. Scott when you need him

  7. 7
    baal

    So, let’s see. You want a star chamber to prosecute the pres for fraud in absentia. I’m not sure I’d call this wishful thinking so much as you need to get out of the basement more often.

  8. 8
    zippythepinhead

    Beyonce was lip-synching?! Oh, the humanity?! Yes, we MUST impeach Obama! Wait, wait, was Beyonce not singing at all OR was she singing with her mic off??? Or did she actually accompany herself in the recording?! These are the IMPORTANT questions the SENATE must consider during the TRIAL!!!!!!!!! OW, I hurt my finger typing all those exclamation marks.

  9. 9
    jnorris

    After the citizens’ trial we’ll set fire to a cross and roast marshmallows.

  10. 10
    Ace of Sevens

    I believe the citizen trials are a corruption of grand jury procedure.

  11. 11
    edmundog

    I really hope Moore goes for it, because making such stupid and illegal moves will get him kicked off the court again.

  12. 12
    moarscienceplz

    Obama is not eligible under the U.S. Constitution to be president

    ‘Cuz ya know (in whispers) “he’s black!”

  13. 13
    bubba707

    He doesn’t seem to know much history. The only reasons the colonists won are, 1, Britain was very involved in other conflicts and, 2 the support of the French. Without either thing the Founding Fathers would have swung from the gallows.

  14. 14
    iknklast

    bubba707, did you learn that in the public schools? Cuz you know, liberal education, and all that…

    I couldn’t believe how many people told me when the French wouldn’t join us invading Iraq that they owed us for “saving their asses” in WWII. I enjoyed shutting them up by saying we were just paying them back for “saving our asses” in the Revolution.

  15. 15
    gshelley

    Didn’t Obama lose in Alabama? Not that it really makes any difference, as even if they found a judge nutty enough to agree in one of the states Obama won, it would get overturned at the Supreme, but I can’t see how Klayman thinks this would lead anywhere.

  16. 16
    jufulu

    So what does a state court have to do with deciding who can hold a Federal office. I know, I’ll get a JP to rule that Romney should be president. That’ll do it, see its easy. I like this game.

  17. 17
    Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    @jufulu, #16:

    Not if I get one to rule that I should be President first! Bwu-hahahaha!

  18. 18
    John Hinkle

    If there is one judge who has the requisite courage in this land, it is the Ten Commandments champion Chief Justice Roy Moore.

    Remind me again how that Ten Commandments thing turned out?

  19. 19
    Augustus Carp

    Forget Beyonce… what about that fraud Yo-Yo Ma in 2009. He wasn’t really playing that ‘cello either. We should have impeached Obama right there and then ;-)

  20. 20
    slc1

    Re jufulu @ #16

    Actually, a federal court has no say in the eligibility of someone to be president. As a federal judge in California informed Orly Taitz last week, a federal judge has no authority to require a presidential candidate to present a birth certificate or any other relevant documentation. This is a matter strictly for the Congress as only the Congress has the authority to remove a president from office.

  21. 21
    Zeno

    They’ll be holding that “citizens court” in a barn owned by Larry’s Uncle Elmer, next to the still.

    Makes sense. Other venues were not readily available and the presence of Uncle Elmer’s still ensures a decent turnout by the good and (temporarily) upstanding citizens of the region.

  22. 22
    F [i'm not here, i'm gone]

    the worst lawyer in America

    I don’t know about that. There’s some fierce (and I mean fierce) competition for that title.

  23. 23
    bubba707

    Actually iknklast, no, I didn’t learn that in school at all. In fact, in school there was little said about the battle off the Chesapeake Capes where the French drove off the British fleet putting Cornwalis in the position of having to surrender to Washington at Yorktown. I always wonder why that gets so little attention since it was a critical event.

  24. 24
    shouldbeworking

    Actually iknklast, no, I didn’t learn that in school at all. In fact, in school there was little said about the battle off the Chesapeake Capes where the French drove off the British fleet putting Cornwalis in the position of having to surrender to Washington at Yorktown. I always wonder why that gets so little attention since it was a critical event.

    That’s because it’s only real if Americans are involved. American exceptionalism is really annoying at times. (The sound of a Canuck running and hiding….)

  25. 25
    dingojack

    shouldbeworking – shouldn’t that be ‘the sound of Nazi Canuck running & hiding’ ?
    Your right alignment was a giveaway.
    ;) Dingo
    ———–
    Sut wnaethoch chi hynny? (How did you do that?)

  26. 26
    navigator

    No, the stakes are not “gargantuan”, but the laughs are pretty big.

  27. 27
    d cwilson

    You know what’s amazing? Despite the fact that they have yet to be taken seriously by a real court anywhere in this country, the birthers still thinking they’re winning this fight.

  28. 28
    slc1

    It is certainly true that the drawn battle between De Grasse and Graves on the Chesapeake Capes was the decisive battle which determined the issue at Yorktown. However, we should not forget the French contingent in Washington’s Army under the Comte de Rochembeau (after whom one of the bridges across the Potomac between Washington, DC and Arlington, Va. is named) which contributed greatly to the victory there. Famously, the British commander, Lord Cornwallis, attempted to surrender to Rochembeau but the latter pointed towards Washington, indicating that the surrender should be to him.

  29. 29
    jameshanley

    Let’s set up a citizens’ court and start indicting and trying nutters like Klayman. We’ll send them official looking documents and put liens on their houses and generally turn their own idiot’s game against them.

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