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Feb 05 2013

FRC Wants God to Intervene in Boy Scouts Decision

The Christian right is absolutely freaking out over the announcement by the Boy Scouts of America that they may reverse their policy on not allowing gay scouts or troop leaders and let local councils make their own rules. The Family Research Council wants the big scout in the sky to get involved:

Thanks be to God for keeping the Scout Program strong till now. May He intervene to prevent this travesty against righteousness and justice from taking place! May God give the BSA leaders courage and understanding NOT to forsake their own laws by BOWING to those behind this immoral shakedown. May those within who are behind this resign or be removed! May Scout parents across America rise up to say “NO” to this evil and may they prevail in preserving this great institution! (1 Sam 2:1-5:1; Pr 28:4; Mt 18:6; Rom 1:16-32; 1 Tim 5:1, 12; 2 Tim 4:1-5:5)

And if he doesn’t intervene and they do change the policy, will they admit that either A) he didn’t intervene because he doesn’t exist or B) he didn’t intervene because he agrees with the change? Of course not. And don’t bring up that “wherever two or more agree in my name” thing from the Bible, either, because they only believe that one when they get what they want.

18 comments

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  1. 1
    timgueguen

    Yep, it will be all “God works in mysterious ways./Freewill!”

  2. 2
    Gregory in Seattle

    With God’s notoriously bad aim, I will look for a major disaster at the Knights of Columbus annual convention.

  3. 3
    richardelguru

    I rather hope he does come down, wearing his scout uniform. I bet his woggle* can cure insomnia.
     
     
    * Do US scouts (or gods for that matter) wear woggles?
    It’s such a fun word:
    woggle
    woggle
    woggle
    woggle
    woggle
    woggle…

  4. 4
    dingojack

    “The Christian right is absolutely freaking out over the announcement by the Boy Scouts of America that they may reverse their policy on not allowing gay scouts or troop leaders and let local councils make their own rules.”

    Why? Was it announced in Arabic?

    :) Dingo

  5. 5
    jnorris

    This is just the first example of our loving God lifting His protective hand away from America as punishment for our collective sins (including not electing Rmoney president). Dollars to doughnuts, God next destroys all our woggles.

  6. 6
    MikeMa

    @richardelguru,
    I have my US-earned Woodbadge woggle,

    I am glad they are going to let the local councils decide whether to enforce this or not. Most troops are struggling with membership declines and while that is not the ideal reason to wish this rule gone, whatever motivates progressive change seems okay.

  7. 7
    imrryr

    That long string of Bible verses kind of loses its meaning when listed like that. What if you’ve got some heathen, non FRC endorsed version of the Bible? Oh well, I guess the list is probably just there to look authoritative anyway..

    *insert various random chapter and page numbers from the Simarillion here*

  8. 8
    composer99

    Of course, the wingnuts fail to consider that, further to Ed’s point (B), God might intervene in favour of changing the rules.

    Since their deity appears to be a sockpuppet, one can’t blame them for their failure of imagination.

  9. 9
    composer99

    (To be fair, one can blame wingnuts for their failure of imagination; however, that they worship an extension of their own minds has likely never occured to them.)

  10. 10
    The Lorax

    May God fix all our problems! Also, everyone else! No, we’re not tacitly admitting that God isn’t likely to do anything, we’re just calling on people to help our omnipotent deity out a bit! For God!

  11. 11
    Gregory in Seattle

    Ok, I’m looking at the verses, using the Revised Standard Version. Most of it is the usual “text out of context is pretext” but I’m rather confused about the long section from 1 Samuel. It is about how Samuel became a prophet, and a repeated refrain is, “Now the boy Samuel was ministering to the LORD under Eli.”

    Maybe the FRC thinks that outsiders are trying to poach from the Church’s private hunting reserves?

  12. 12
    Marcus Ranum

    I love it when people ask for help from god. Because, in effect, they’re saying that they’re not going to do anything except whinge, and they understand that god is not real. (Because if they actually believed in god they’d be scared to crap of it)

  13. 13
    d.c.wilson

    jnorris:

    Ironically, in any other election, these same people would have been shrieking about Gawd withdrawing his hand from America for electing a non-Christian cultist. But black atheist/Muslim trumps Mormon in their paranoid worldview.

  14. 14
    timberwoof

    Does God have free will, or is he compelled to do what enough fundamentalists want him to do?

  15. 15
    gAytheist

    Those babble verses don’t seem to have much to do with gays and I’m pretty sure the babble never mentions the boy scouts. The stuff from 1 Samuel is all about how the Philistines captured the ark of the covenant from the Israelites. Is there a scout badge for capturing the ark of the covenant?

    And what are we supposed to make of the reference to 1 Tim 5:1 which says, “Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren.”? What can that possibly have to do with allowing gays to be scouts?

  16. 16
    a miasma of incandescent plasma

    These prayers are so BORING, and they all seem to have a natural basis…

    If I was a believer (and a bigot) I’d be more like “And if they try to pass this, take your invisible hand and literally throw the pen against the wall and then smash it with invisible feet, and pick the paper up so it looks like it’s floating and tear it in half… and then have a booming voice say “I am teh LORD, mofo’s! Ya’ll need to stop teh ghey lovin and ya’ll REALLY need to lay off the shellfish and where’s the blue ribbon on your robes?!…”

    But no, they ask for things that could happen without even god’s influence. Boring!! Challenge the deity, believers! Let’s see if we can get the prayers answered Bible-style!!

  17. 17
    frog

    gAytheist: There’s not scout badge for capturing the ark of the covenant, but you might get a cool hat, a whip, and a nifty orchestral soundtrack.

  18. 18
    Crudely Wrott

    Well, dammit, if the FRC wants god to interfere then they should take the problem directly to the source. They should pray without ceasing, in their closets, to their god who answers prayers. Problem solved.

    Why are they making a public spectacle of themselves when they have such a useful resource?

    I certainly didn’t presume too much, did I?

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