Swanson’s Most Absurd Prediction Yet

I’m accustomed to reading, and reporting, the bizarre and paranoid predictions from the Christian right, and Kevin Swanson is one of the most ridiculous of them all. But his latest bit of stupid is inane even by his own lofty standards: homeschooled children will be taken from their parents and given to NAMBLA.

Swanson: You need to understand the agenda here. What’s happening is they want homosexuals to be able to be involved in adoption and foster care as much anybody else. So picture a nice little homeschool family, just trying to do the right thing. An anonymous tip comes in, social services swoops in, they grab the kids in the year 2022 and the kids get remanded into a home with homosexuals and these particular homosexuals happen to be tied into NAMBLA and other things. You know what’s going to happen. There will be proper indoctrination into a certain kind of worldview, shall we say.

Damn it, he’s figured out the plan. And we would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those pesky wingnuts.

15 comments on this post.
  1. Brett McCoy:

    What would Marlon Brando look-alikes want with children?

  2. jws1:

    Some kids already are trusted to the care of folks like NAMBLA: The Roman Catholic Church.

  3. nonnymus:

    I know you wrote “lofty standards” sarcastically, but I’d still prefer “abysmal standards”.

  4. Trebuchet:

    Damn it, he’s figured out the plan. And we would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those pesky wingnuts.

    And that’s exactly what they’ll say when called on their predictions not coming true.

  5. raven:

    According to Deuternonomy, false prophets are supposed to be stoned to death.

    People like Swanson obviously don’t believe their own magic book.

    If they did, Kevin Swanson and every single fundie xian leader would be dead under a pile of rocks.

    US xianity is dying. Fundies like Swanson have hollowed it out. It’s just an excuse to babble like idiots and hate a lot these days.

    BTW, this is another of many proofs that god and jesus don’t exist. If they did, Swanson would long ago have disappeared in a lightening bolt strike on a clear sunny day.

  6. Ace of Sevens:

    What about the girls?

  7. richardelguru:

    Ace:
    NAMGLA??

  8. Bronze Dog:

    Last I checked, NAMBLA has been defunct for years and was hated by virtually everyone, but when has that stopped wingnuts from their insane ramblings about it? And, of course, we’re talking about the rape party whose leaders and pundits readily issue apologia to minimize the crime whenever we point out the outrageous stances of their fellows. Do they expect us to believe they have the moral high ground on rape?

    Oh, wait, that’s right, they’re preaching to their echo chambers. They don’t have a basis for comparison since they don’t know or care what non-wingnuts actually advocate.

  9. thisisaturingtest:

    Well, he managed a symphony of dogwhistles quite nicely there, didn’t he? Public (vs private?) school indoctrination, homosexual “agenda,” “won’t someone think of the children?!?!?” and, of course, the biggie- homosexuals are pedophiles!

  10. d.c.wilson:

    Bronze Dog:

    Well, come on! If ACORN can rig the 2012 after ceasing to exist three years ago, surely NAMBLA can continue to influence policy even decades after they closed up shop.

  11. d.c.wilson:

    Ace of Sevens on February 4,
    What about the girls?

    We all know that when wingnuts talk about the “homosexual agenda”, they’re really only fixated on lusting after hot sweaty man-flesh. They only time they concern themselves with those lady parts is when there’s a fetus inside one.

  12. fastlane:

    Ya’ll know what the bible says about false prophets, right?

    So, how long do we have to wait for this assclown’s predictions to be shown wrong before the stoning begins?

  13. baal:

    Darn, dcwilson beat me to it.

    Oh well. I’ll just throw in my overused note that the right wing reality bubble has discarded ‘causality’ as part of their anti-science efforts. Things that don’t exist cause stuff (g0d). Things that no longer exist cause stuff(acorn). Things that happened second cause things that happened before (Obama created the econ meltdown in 2008, while being sworn in 2009). Things with no causal relationship cause stuff (tolerance of gays makes hurricanes). Things work backward from the way they really do (condom use leads to pregnancy and aids in africa). etc.

  14. jnorris:

    The good news is the boys won’t be turned over to the Muslim Communist Atheists NAMBLA.

  15. ambulocetacean:

    Swanson is a funny one. He says that the wombs of women who take the pill are studded with little dead babies.

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/swanson-wombs-women-birth-control-embedded-dead-babies

    Also that homosexuals should be imprisoned or executed. Seems like a decent enough chap.

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