I’m accustomed to reading, and reporting, the bizarre and paranoid predictions from the Christian right, and Kevin Swanson is one of the most ridiculous of them all. But his latest bit of stupid is inane even by his own lofty standards: homeschooled children will be taken from their parents and given to NAMBLA.
Swanson: You need to understand the agenda here. What’s happening is they want homosexuals to be able to be involved in adoption and foster care as much anybody else. So picture a nice little homeschool family, just trying to do the right thing. An anonymous tip comes in, social services swoops in, they grab the kids in the year 2022 and the kids get remanded into a home with homosexuals and these particular homosexuals happen to be tied into NAMBLA and other things. You know what’s going to happen. There will be proper indoctrination into a certain kind of worldview, shall we say.
Damn it, he’s figured out the plan. And we would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those pesky wingnuts.
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Brett McCoy
February 4, 2013 at 1:36 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
What would Marlon Brando look-alikes want with children?
jws1
February 4, 2013 at 1:37 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Some kids already are trusted to the care of folks like NAMBLA: The Roman Catholic Church.
nonnymus
February 4, 2013 at 1:39 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I know you wrote “lofty standards” sarcastically, but I’d still prefer “abysmal standards”.
Trebuchet
February 4, 2013 at 1:42 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
And that’s exactly what they’ll say when called on their predictions not coming true.
raven
February 4, 2013 at 1:51 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
According to Deuternonomy, false prophets are supposed to be stoned to death.
People like Swanson obviously don’t believe their own magic book.
If they did, Kevin Swanson and every single fundie xian leader would be dead under a pile of rocks.
US xianity is dying. Fundies like Swanson have hollowed it out. It’s just an excuse to babble like idiots and hate a lot these days.
BTW, this is another of many proofs that god and jesus don’t exist. If they did, Swanson would long ago have disappeared in a lightening bolt strike on a clear sunny day.
Ace of Sevens
February 4, 2013 at 1:54 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
What about the girls?
richardelguru
February 4, 2013 at 2:09 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ace:
NAMGLA??
Bronze Dog
February 4, 2013 at 2:45 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Last I checked, NAMBLA has been defunct for years and was hated by virtually everyone, but when has that stopped wingnuts from their insane ramblings about it? And, of course, we’re talking about the rape party whose leaders and pundits readily issue apologia to minimize the crime whenever we point out the outrageous stances of their fellows. Do they expect us to believe they have the moral high ground on rape?
Oh, wait, that’s right, they’re preaching to their echo chambers. They don’t have a basis for comparison since they don’t know or care what non-wingnuts actually advocate.
thisisaturingtest
February 4, 2013 at 2:50 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Well, he managed a symphony of dogwhistles quite nicely there, didn’t he? Public (vs private?) school indoctrination, homosexual “agenda,” “won’t someone think of the children?!?!?” and, of course, the biggie- homosexuals are pedophiles!
d.c.wilson
February 4, 2013 at 3:27 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Bronze Dog:
Well, come on! If ACORN can rig the 2012 after ceasing to exist three years ago, surely NAMBLA can continue to influence policy even decades after they closed up shop.
d.c.wilson
February 4, 2013 at 3:34 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
We all know that when wingnuts talk about the “homosexual agenda”, they’re really only fixated on lusting after hot sweaty man-flesh. They only time they concern themselves with those lady parts is when there’s a fetus inside one.
fastlane
February 4, 2013 at 3:46 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ya’ll know what the bible says about false prophets, right?
So, how long do we have to wait for this assclown’s predictions to be shown wrong before the stoning begins?
baal
February 4, 2013 at 3:58 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Darn, dcwilson beat me to it.
Oh well. I’ll just throw in my overused note that the right wing reality bubble has discarded ‘causality’ as part of their anti-science efforts. Things that don’t exist cause stuff (g0d). Things that no longer exist cause stuff(acorn). Things that happened second cause things that happened before (Obama created the econ meltdown in 2008, while being sworn in 2009). Things with no causal relationship cause stuff (tolerance of gays makes hurricanes). Things work backward from the way they really do (condom use leads to pregnancy and aids in africa). etc.
jnorris
February 4, 2013 at 8:33 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The good news is the boys won’t be turned over to the Muslim Communist Atheists NAMBLA.
ambulocetacean
February 5, 2013 at 8:53 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Swanson is a funny one. He says that the wombs of women who take the pill are studded with little dead babies.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/swanson-wombs-women-birth-control-embedded-dead-babies
Also that homosexuals should be imprisoned or executed. Seems like a decent enough chap.