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Jan 30 2013

Klingenschmitt: Obama Making Satan and God Equal

Our old pal Gordon Klingenschmitt, who last year declared that President Obama was possessed by as many as 50 different demons, now says that Obama’s half-hearted defense of marriage equality is putting Satan and God on equal footing. And that’s bad.

Every kid deserves a mom and dad. We must defend traditional marriage.

Sadly, Obama equates sin with holiness, confusing lust with love, thereby confusing the demonic with the Holy Spirit, when Satan can never be equal with God. There is one reason homosexual sodomy will never be “equal” to traditional marriage: Satan will never be equal to God.

To discern selfish lust from selfless love, and the evil spirit from the Holy Spirit is critical to discerning whether sin can ever “equal” holiness, in human morality. Because every form of sin (including heterosexual sin) is a defiant human act of rebellion to God’s commands, then sin is also an invitation to allow demonic rule, always without exception.

Thus “equality” for Obama is the same as making Satan equal to God, because he declares the demonic to be godly, when in fact nobody can serve two masters. Allowing sin to rule our national policies is an open rejection of Almighty God, and an open invitation to the devil, to manifest in our hearts.

Would you pray with me, for our President to repent, and renounce evil, and invite the Holy Spirit to rule his heart? Then let’s petition all 100 Senators to protect traditional marriage.

I think that’s a great idea. He should call all 100 senators and tell them that Obama is possessed by demons. Because that will be taken very seriously.

22 comments

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  1. 1
    lldayo

    People who lust for each other aren’t looking to get married. People who love each other are.

  2. 2
    doublereed

    Last time I checked, love doesn’t make babies, but lust does.

  3. 3
    raven

    Every kid deserves a mom and dad. We must defend traditional marriage.

    1. 40% of US children are born to single mothers.

    2. The divorce rate is 50%.

    Both are higher among fundie death cult xians.

    As a start, maybe we could send the fundies to real sex ed. classes before it is too late and they hit adolescence. They need to know how babies are made at tje very least.

  4. 4
    matty1

    He should call all 100 senators and tell them that Obama is possessed by demons. Because that will be taken very seriously

    Sadly it really might by some.

  5. 5
    Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    @matty1 – #4

    Yes, it might. But those lines are what keep me coming back to Ed’s blog. Sometimes it’s looking at the statements of my political opponents that gives me the hope I need to keep going.

  6. 6
    Bronze Dog

    One irony I see: The fundies essentially claim that Satan is greater than their god all the time. They say that if “Satanic” same sex marriage is allowed, suddenly, somehow, “godly” heterosexual marriages will start failing, implying that hetero marriages, and thus their god, are inherently inferior.

  7. 7
    Alverant

    “Every kid deserves a mom and dad”
    So does that mean he’s going to spend more time promoting adoption and helping couples resolve their issues before going to divorce? Or is he going to talk to men about being responsible fathers and not legging it when his girlfriend says, “Guess what?” You know, every kid already has a mom and a dad. It’s a question of those two actually being parents and when they can’t or won’t do that, someone else has to pick up the slack and if it just so happens that it’s a same-sex couple then that’s fine with me.

  8. 8
    cptdoom

    Thus “equality” for Obama is the same as making Satan equal to God, because he declares the demonic to be godly, when in fact nobody can serve two masters.

    What I find fascinating is that during last year’s election, Klingenschmitt refused to condemn Romney for being a Mormon – although he did condemn Romney for his tenure as Governor of Massachusetts, because Romney occassionally treated gays and lesbians like human beings at that time. But isn’t “equality” for “false religions” like Mormonism equivalent to Obama’s gay rights policies? After all, Mormons do not worship God, at least according to the Christians, so they must be worshipping His opposite number. Therefore the GOP equated Satan to God when they nominated a heathen like Romney as President. So we should be hearing from the good chaplain about how the Republicans are doing the work of evil, right? Right?

  9. 9
    Ysidro

    So, God < Satan < POTUS?

    Awesome! USA! USA! USA!

  10. 10
    John Pieret

    But isn’t “equality” for “false religions” like Mormonism equivalent to Obama’s gay rights policies?

    I have little doubt that Klingenschmitt finds the Catholic Church a false and demonic religion. That’s the beauty of theocracy, god AND the law are on your side … as long as its your theocracy.

  11. 11
    marcus

    “Because every form of sin (including heterosexual sin) is a defiant human act of rebellion to God’s command”</i.
    Talk about an easy and simultaneously fun win!

  12. 12
    d.c.wilson

    Well, I consider Satan and Yahweh to be equal, in that they are equally fictitious. What do I win?

  13. 13
    marcus

    @me 11 Italics fail!

  14. 14
    caseloweraz

    Doublereed wrote: “Last time I checked, love doesn’t make babies, but lust does.”

    Indeed.

    As I wrote once on CompuServe, It’s lust that makes the world go round. Love “merely” keeps it spinning true (“merely” because that’s no small accomplishment.)

    Uh-oh, I guess I just blew my secret identity. Big deal. It probably was already blown.

  15. 15
    Larry

    Making satan and god equal is the same as making santa claus and easter bunny equal. Or a unicorn and a mermaid.

  16. 16
    fifthdentist

    Putting them on equal footing? That’s ridiculous!
    Satan seems to try to help people, while god seems to delight in killing them like a 6-year-old with a magnifying glass at an anthill.

  17. 17
    davidhart

    I am reminded of Christopher Hitchens’ quote, that “it’s not just another form of sex; it’s another form of love”. Some people seem to be desperate to not understand that.

  18. 18
    thebookofdave

    It’s not that Obama is half-hearted in his support of marriage. It’s just that it’s getting pretty crowded in his head. Fifty demons put up quite a racket, making it difficult for him to concentrate on following God’s will.

    Klingenschmitt has much more empty space in his head. There’s no telling how many demons are infesting his skull. Don’t waste time calling your senator, either. The Capitol building is packed to the rafters with over 27,000 demons in every legislative session. That probably explains the infuriating lack of progress, and the reason most of the bills passed are pro-demon.

  19. 19
    Crudely Wrott

    Satan is the equal of God.

    Both are fabrications of small, frightened and ignorant human minds.

    Case closed.

  20. 20
    Nathair

    Last time I checked, love doesn’t make babies, but lust does.

    Then you really need to check again. Insemination isn’t just the result of lust, for many people it’s the result of intent, careful planning, sometimes medical assistance or even surrogacy. Do you really just see lust in a woman charting her basal body temperature and cervical mucus in order to increase the chances of conception?

  21. 21
    dingojack

    Nathair – oh stop it! You’re getting me all hawt and bothered.
    :) Dingo

  22. 22
    Nathair

    @Dingo – You dog, you!

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