Fischer: God Will Send Muslims to Kill Us Over Abortion

It’s a familiar refrain from the Christian right. “If the nation doesn’t prevent you from doing (fill in the blank — abortion, homosexuality, teaching evolution) God is going to punish us by (fill in the blank — floods, earthquakes, hurricanes, terrorist attacks.” Here’s Bryan Fischer playing Mad Libs for wingnuts:

19 comments on this post.
  1. shouldbeworking:

    Moslems as agents of the Lord’s will? Wouldn’t that make Moslems the chosen people, instead of white, Christian, male Americans who blindly support Israel?

  2. Gregory in Seattle:

    “Mad Libs” for wingnuts…. That gives me an idea.

    It would be fun to take some of Fischer’s actual speeches — and a few from other hard right wingnuts — and cast them as Mad Libs. Then invite some unsuspecting people to play. Then post the real and Mad Lib versions on the web, and invite the public to vote on which is the original.

    (Heads over to his preferred registration site, to see what domains might be available.)

  3. Larry:

    Wouldn’t that make Moslems the chosen people

    Nah. They’re just god’s hit men. When ever god gets a burr up his ass and needs a piece of work done, he puts out a contract with Mohammed. Not personal. Strictly business.

  4. criticaldragon1177:

    #2 Gregory in Seattle

    Your Wingnut madlibs could be fun actually. Except in some cases, it could be too easy to tell, which one is real and which one isn’t given the fact that some people would choose words that people like Fischer would never use in the context.

  5. Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant):

    Why is it the right-wing considers anything less than abject prostration before the US flag to be unforgivable while claiming their deity is an enemy of the United States?

  6. Modusoperandi:

    Tomorrow it will be “Abortion is God’s punishment for tolerating Muslins!”

  7. eric:

    I imagine God must have a Wheel Of Incompetent Punishments up there that he spins. Two wheels, actually since he obviously picks location for said punisments on a pseudo-random basis too.

    Its the only thing that makes sense. Otherwise, a giant face in the sky saying “folks, don’t do that” followed by lightning bolting exactly those people who are doing it, as they are doing it, would work much more effectively.

  8. Draken:

    @1: Nein, zee muslims vil only be ze peons of zee Overlord. After zey have executed zeir task, zey have outlived zeir usefulness and vill be properly dealt with zemselves, MUHAHAHAHA!

  9. jnorris:

    Now we know why Pres Obama was importing 50 million Muslims into the USA, its part of God’s plan. But really, it has taken God 40 god-damn years to get around to threatening to punish us? Will someone buy It a day planner.

  10. anubisprime:

    You could not make it up, oh wait! maybe with a fictitious peeping tom watching your every move…no wonder the fuckers are deeply paranoid to the point of actually presenting a dark and dubious entertainment.
    They even manage to defile mental instability in their rantings….way to go Capt. Idiot!

  11. d.c.wilson:

    Here’s what I don’t get: Whenever Gawd unleashes some random punishment that smites some random group of people, how can we tell if he’s pissed because of the gays, abortion or socialism?

  12. iangould:

    Let’s see: 9/11 happened during a Republican administration. There’s been no comparable attack since Obama was elected.

    God is a Democrat!

  13. vmanis1:

    For what sin is Brian Fischer the punishment?

  14. Nepenthe:

    @vmanis1

    Whatever it is, I’m really, really sorry.

  15. shouldbeworking:

    @12
    God is a republican with bad eyesight and a worse sense of timing.

  16. wholething:

    I think Bryan Fischer was sent as punishment for something or other. It was coded in the placenta but was discarded unfortunately.

  17. fifthdentist:

    It would have been better for all involved if Bryan’s mom had kept the placenta and put the rest of it her discharge (Fischer) in the hospital incinerator.

  18. Michael Heath:

    fifthdentist writes:

    It would have been better for all involved if Bryan’s mom had kept the placenta and put the rest of it her discharge (Fischer) in the hospital incinerator.

    Liberalism is winning because we generally do not descend to the depths of depravity that we observe from conservative Christians, or in this case, arguably even lower. We lose our moral high ground when we make such arguments, even when our rhetoric is obviously not meant to be taken literally.

  19. bradleybetts:

    Way to Godwin the fuck out of that argument, Fischer.

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