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Jan 24 2013

Alex Jones: Government Creates Gay People

Here’s an epic rant from Alex Jones claiming that the government is putting chemicals into products to produce more gay people to reduce the population. Oh, and fluoride. And juice boxes are making little girls all slutty, or something. Who the hell knows?

I think the government is putting chemicals into his drinking water to make him a whackjob.

30 comments

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  1. 1
    fifthdentist

    Yes, we must protect our precious heterosexual bodliy fluids.

  2. 2
    Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    Free-association is fun.

  3. 3
    steve oberski

    Alex, the damage you are doing to your children by exposing them to juice containers pales in comparison to how you are fucking over their minds.

    That being said, the book Slow Death by Rubber Duck by Rick Smith, Bruce Lourie and Sarah Dopp is a very depressing read.

  4. 4
    dingojack

    Damn – I thought he was going to give us the address of the government’s gay-producing factory complex (just outside of Climax MI or perhaps, Intercourse PA).
    I would have made an order – for Alex. The poor ol’ bugger, really needs to:
    a) to hand back his ‘Friends of Narnia’ gold pin and climb out into the real world
    b) to get laid.

    Dingo)

  5. 5
    dingojack

    Doh – clearly the Factor is near Gaylord Mi or MN – maybe Gays Mills WI.
    :) Dingo

  6. 6
    shouldbeworking

    At least he’s not blaming Canada and our universal healthcare, gun laws and no gawd on our money.

  7. 7
    Ben Zvan

    Juice boxes are kinda hot.

  8. 8
    glodson

    He gets paid to say these things. He gets paid to say these things. Fuck.

  9. 9
    machintelligence

    It isn’t a factory; it’s a mine.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Climax_mine

  10. 10
    frankb

    I am not tempted to watch the video, the stupid is too strong. It might infect me with Alzheimers.

  11. 11
    TCC

    DJ: Or even Gays, IL, which is (locally) infamous for its two-story outhouse.

  12. 12
    Reverend PJ

    @dingojack Clearly the factory is in Michigan since we also have Hell, MI.

  13. 13
    Gregory in Seattle

    @fifthdentist #1 – You are right: there are similarities.

  14. 14
    dingojack

    Aww. I was hoping they’d be mining Cummingtonite at Climax, CO.

    Dingo

  15. 15
    steve oberski

    @shouldbeworking

    We do have the picture of the head of the Anglican Church on our money.

  16. 16
    Glenn E Ross

    The main logical disconnect of these conspiracy theorists is that they think that the government is incapable of governing intelligently, but is capable of the most intricate and hidden conspiracies. They complain continuously that the government can’t do it’s job efficiently or effectively, but is capable of the most involved and complicated scams.
    When they want to demonize the government for the things they are meant to do, the government can’t possibly do it better than the free market, I mean everyone knows government workers are lazy and incompetent. When they want to demonize the government for their oddball dystopian fantasies of the moment, the government is capable of thousands of those same lazy and incompetent government workers participating and keeping secret the most dastardly and intricate plots.
    Is the government made of incompetent buffoons or evil geniuses? Pick one, please.

  17. 17
    sailor1031

    If the gummint were smart enough to run some of these intricate conspiracies, don’t you think the gummint would be the first to leak the details just so the media could let us all know how smart the gummint is?

  18. 18
    Bronze Dog

    Damn – I thought he was going to give us the address of the government’s gay-producing factory complex (just outside of Climax MI or perhaps, Intercourse PA).

    It’s a couple blocks east of the stripper factory in the Pastafarian afterlife. If you reach the beer volcano, you’ve passed it.

  19. 19
    Steve the Drunk Unicyclist

    Ed said: I think the government is putting chemicals into his drinking water to make him a whackjob.

    It’s that damned di-hydrogen monoxide!

  20. 20
    scienceavenger

    The contradications, where to start? First off, how would reducing the population be a bad thing? The earth is not suffering from an underpopulation problem. Second, if the government was trying to reduce the population, they wouldn’t be making girls slutty, they’d be making them frigid.

    @16 Yes, whenever I get into a debate with a conspiracy theorist, I always justify my dismissal with “I lack your faith in the government to pull off something so compicated”. Deer-in-the-headlights.

  21. 21
    TGAP Dad

    I think the government is putting chemicals into his drinking water to make him a whackjob.

    I don’t actually think chemicals exist that can make you that crazy. For that level of nuts, you need a hefty dose of right-wing propaganda.

  22. 22
    Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    @ Steve – #19:

    Did you know that Dihydrogen monoxide has consistently been found in the brains of paranoid demagogues? It’s true!!!

    More’s the pity…

    ============
    As a note about the video, I don’t think the rant at the end is separate from the rant at the beginning. THe whole, ready to have a baby, ready to wear a short skirt, ready to put on lipstick…I think that like most misogynists, he often speaks as if women didn’t exist and that everyone just **knows** that he could only be talking about men b/c men are the only group relevant, duh!

    I think he’s saying the phyto-estrogens are affecting male bodies so dramatically it’s causing male pregnancy, MtF cross-dressing, and MtF make-up wearing.

    Yeah. Delusional doesn’t begin to cover it.

    How about “profit seeking”.

  23. 23
    mudpuddles

    @ Glen #16 and scienceavenger #20, on contradictions:

    Indeed. And Agenda 21, that globalist plot to (somehow) destroy America by promoting a clean environment, empowering citizens and protecting public health, will achieve its aims through… em… pollution…. with toxic plastics… which we must ingest…. Hmmm.

  24. 24
    raven

    The contradications, where to start? First off, how would reducing the population be a bad thing?

    If the population got too low, the ruling elites would run out of Soylent Green.

    One of Alex Jones big ideas involves the UN running a population reduction program. The swine flu vaccine was a plot to kill billions of people. Everything is a plot to kill billions of people.

    The ruling elites must be incompetent. The world population keeps going up by around a billion people every decade or so.

  25. 25
    d.c.wilson

    They just want you to think that the government is incompetent so you won’t think it was capable of pulling off all of their plans.

  26. 26
    baal

    He has a kernel of sanity in there…

    His impacts are off but I’d like to think he’s complaining about endocrine disruption from bisphenol A and phthalates. The science is mixed and hard to assess since a lot of industry based science and ‘real’ scientists say no to little risk from any one given chemical but other researchers find pretty solid evidence that endocrine disruption is really happening. It’s more than a step too far to say that endocrine disruption leads to more gay men or is the primary factor in early maturation of secondary sexual characteristics in girls (stress can do it too even if we assume it’s happening at above average rates).

    Regardless, I avoid drinking from plastic generally and while government responsibility for Industries manufacturing decisions is a contentious point, the decisions on how to manufacture plastics is strongly influenced by what the industries do regardless of the regulations.

  27. 27
    cottonnero

    My cousin works for the DoD, and he often says, “Anyone who believes the government can pull off those conspiracies has obviously never worked for the government.”

  28. 28
    Pierce R. Butler

    scienceavenger @ # 20: … if the government was trying to reduce the population, they wouldn’t be making girls slutty, they’d be making them frigid.

    No no no!

    The plan is to make them all into wild slutty lesbians! Just like the ones in Romans 1:26, who (well, duh) caused the fall of the whole Empire.

  29. 29
    Hayden

    I wonder how difficult it would be to get him to start railing against the dihydrogen monoxide in our drinking water. Thousands of people die each year from dihydrogen monoxide inhalation.

  30. 30
    WMDKitty -- Survivor

    I’m going to second (or third) the suggestions re: Dihydrogen Monoxide, just for the lulz.

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