Vatican Wants Tebow


The Catholic News Service is reporting that the Vatican is trying to recruit Tim Tebow, Jeremy Lin and other prominent Christian athletes to take part in a conference on ethics and sports. Because if the Catholic Church knows about anything, it’s ethics.

In an effort to flex its moral muscle in the professional sports arena, the Vatican has invited top-tier Christian athletes Tim Tebow and Jeremy Lin to help bring ethical values back to a scandal-ridden world of sports.

The Pontifical Council for Culture is planning to host an international conference on re-instilling values in sports this spring, inviting representatives from top world governing bodies like FIFA (the International Federation of Association Football), the International Cycling Union and the Italian National Olympic Committee…

The council will also have Catholic and other Christian athletes in attendance, to give witness to how the worlds of faith and sports can easily come together.

He said the council hoped its participant line-up would include two high-profile Christian U.S. sports stars: NFL quarterback Tim Tebow of the New York Jets, and NBA basketball player Jeremy Lin of the Houston Rockets.

Jerry Sandusky cannot attend because, unlike far too many Catholic priests and bishops, he’s in prison.

Comments

  1. glodson says

    I really want to see him play a full season with a team that has a mediocre defense. Mostly because I’m sick of hearing that a quarterback who can’t throw a pass “Just wins.”

  2. raven says

    That is funny.

    Tebow comes from a branch of xianity that is very anti-Catholic.

    A lot was made of his missionary upbringing in the Philipines. Few pointed out that the Philipines has been xian for centuries, is hard core Catholic, and has the social problems to prove it.

    Tebow and his family were converting Catholics to The One True Xian Cult, which is. of course, their cult.

  3. Poggio says

    Because, of course, it makes sense to listen to people with degrees in philosophical history and Latin about sports ethics. In any case, everyone already knows what the ‘solution’ will be among these self-anointed professionals.

  4. shouldbeworking says

    The Vatican forgot to invite that other paragon of ethics and virtuous conduct, Lance Armstrong.

  5. frog says

    The Catholic church must be getting desperate if they’re seeking alliances with denominations that aren’t just Protestant but flamingly anti-Papist. They’ve already sought common cause with Judiasm. When they start cozying up to Muslims, we’ll know that atheism is really gaining ground.

  6. slc1 says

    Re Reginald Selkirk @ #3

    I don’t recall the Raping Children Church being a promulgator of circumcision. Most Catholics outside the United States are not cut.

  7. says

    I’ve always wondered how it is ethical to request an outside agent interfere to interfere in a game to give your side an advantage.

  8. Draken says

    to give witness to how the worlds of faith and sports can easily come together.

    So true. Sooo true. But not in the way they mean it.

  9. raven says

    Can Catholics cheer for Tim Tebow – Page 4 – Catholic Answers Forums
    orums. catholic.c om › Forums › Catholic Living › Family Life

    15 posts – 11 authors – 9 Dec 2011
    Page 4- Can Catholics cheer for Tim Tebow Family Life. …

    fact that Mr. Tebow is a fundamentalist Christian who’s father has made a life’s mission of converting Catholics. … Do you really think that Mr. Tebow isn’t anti Catholic?

    If you put Tebow anti Catholic bigot in Google, a whole lot of hits come up. All similar to this one.

    CHRISTIANITY IN THE PHILIPPINES
    www. seasite. niu.edu/ crossroads/ russell/christianity.htm

    The Philippines is approximately 85 percent Christian (mostly Roman Catholic), 10 percent Muslim, and 5 percent ‘other’ religions, including the Taoist-Buddhist …

    The Philippines is 81% Catholic, and 85% xian, higher than in the USA which runs around 75% xian.

  10. TGAP Dad says

    I’d be willing to bet that the real purpose of this little meeting is more about using their celebrity status to evangelize than about ethics.

  11. says

    If they got room on that panel for a former Cath-O-Lick, I’m game, s’long as they order out from some nice Eyetalian restaurants.

    I’m just wondering, just asking questions, here; Tebow asked JESUS to help him win. Belichek got fined, like, a half milling buckarooz for filming a practice (well, maybe a FEW of them). I mean they fucking nearly crucified him. Same-o, same-o for Sean Payton. Timbow could get like, injury reports, depth charts, playbooks and best of all, realtime intel from the mind of the opposing team’s coach to GOD to Timeh’s ear. Hanging is too good for him, I say!!

  12. says

    This conference’s first agenda item had better be rape-culture among school athletes (just one example of many here, if they want it to be taken seriously.

    I have met other Southern Baptists who do not consider Catholics to be Christian.

    A minor difference, when religious authoritarians are trying to unite against their most dangerous common enemies — atheists, liberals, uppity women, LGBTs, etc. I’m sure there’s both Catholics and Baptists who would gladly unite with the Taliban just to keep anyone from questioning their delusions and con-games.

    Tebow does have a history of mutilating the genitals of children, so that may increase his appeal to the Vatican.

    (Un)Holy fucking shit, I was ready to write the guy off as merely silly. This is disgusting.

    From the article cited:

    Tim’s original task was to preach to the hundreds of people waiting in line before they had their teeth pulled or cysts removed. But as the day progressed, he looked for more active ways to help the three Filipino doctors. By the end of an exhausting day, he was wearing gloves and a mask, wielding surgical scissors, and helping the doctors in the circumcision of boys, finishing off stitches with a snip.

    So he starts by haranguing a captive audience who are there because they’re suffering from medical maladies (“your wait time is now less than two hours…back to all the Bible verses that validate my home-schooled simplemindedness…”); then EAGERLY moves on to direct assistance in acts of mutilation. What a stinking turd of a jock. And this is Pope Palpadict’s idea of a shining example of Christian values? Yet another tone-deaf and morally retarded call by one of the least “spiritual” popes in history.

    Is there not one better athlete this pope could have picked? Not one, in such a huge Christian nation with so many college and pro football teams?

  13. Reginald Selkirk says

    Poggio #5: Because, of course, it makes sense to listen to people with degrees in philosophical history and Latin about sports ethics.

    Tebow has a degree in “Family, Youth and Community Sciences.” I guess that makes him a scientist.

  14. Reginald Selkirk says

    shouldbeworking #6: The Vatican forgot to invite that other paragon of ethics and virtuous conduct, Lance Armstrong.

    Maybe because Mr. ‘I’d give my left nut to win the Tour de France’ is known as an atheist. Thus proving that giving up God does not automatically make you moral.

  15. says

    …to give witness to how the worlds of faith and sports can easily come together.

    Shameless tribalism, contrived differences that later fuel drunken brawls, power and group identity elevated over individual conscience and intellect, winning-is-everything mentality, contempt for the “weak,” and unearned entitlement from adoring fans — yeah, I, for one, have seen plenty of “witness” to that already. We don’t need a bigoted lying Pope reinforcing any of that with his phony authority.

  16. says

    Msgr. Melchor Sanchez de Toca Alameda, head of the council’s “Culture and Sport” section, told Catholic News Service Jan. 16 that pro sports “have become a commodity that is subordinate to the free market and, therefore, to profit.”

    Instead of sports being an activity that builds important values, respects human dignity and helps shape the whole human person, “it has reduced people to merchandise,” he said.

    Well that’s interesting. Are they going to hector Tebow and Lin about their contracts?

  17. matty1 says

    Why the fuck were the kids being circumcised in the first place? It isn’t a requirement of any branch of Christianity I’ve heard of, in fact Paul warned against circumcising non-Jewish converts, so what was the motivation?

  18. says

    Enough with the irrelevant stuff … what are they willing to give the Jets for him? A Notre Dame linebacker? … Um, maybe not … the Jets already have too many circus clowns. I know, how about a few prime bits of New York City real estate so that the jets can go out and hire a real quarterback?

  19. eric says

    I have an inside line on the conference agenda.

    Day 1: lowering the age of participation: how low is ethically too low?
    Day 2: maintaining amateur status: why they shouldn’t get paid for participating
    Day 3: exploring new avenues of recruitment

  20. slc1 says

    Re matty1 @ #20

    Why the fuck were the kids being circumcised in the first place?

    This is a hangover from the time when the Philippines was an American colony.
    At that time, the circumcision rate in the US was on the order of 90%. It has nothing to do with religion.

  21. says

    Tim Tebow who spent the season gathering splinters.

    I first saw him on TV in his college football days, crying on a teammate’s shoulder ’cause they’d lost a game. He’s not a poor sport, he was just disappointed because God didn’t hear his prayers for victory that day, right? From that ridiculous start, “gathering splinters” is an improvement. (And will those splinters be sold as holy relics now? I can see the bin in the Catholic store: “Splinters from the True Athletic Ass.”)

  22. matty1 says

    Ah, yes I’ve run into this confusion before. Americans seem to circumcise* a lot more than British where the practice is only really followed by Jews and Muslims for religious reasons. Certainly the idea of circumcision being a routine procedure included with a medical check up is hard to get my head around.

    *This may refer to past rather than present practice I’m not sure.

  23. The Lorax says

    a scandal-ridden world of sports

    … *blink*

    a scandal-ridden world of sports

    … wow. The Catholic church printed this? That takes balls, man. Serious balls.

  24. says

    the Vatican has invited top-tier Christian athletes Tim Tebow and Jeremy Lin to help bring ethical values back to a scandal-ridden world of sports.

    Wow, I ran through a whole range of emotions reading this, started out with some anger on the arrogance of the Vatican to claim any sort of authority on ethics but then devolved into laughter. Let’s all focus on sports scandals, Mr. Pope. Why would you ever want to seriously deal with the scandals surrounding the Catholic church when you can go on ignoring them and pretend to be concerned about other people who happen to have a bunch of money? I’m sure you are just concerned for their fragile little immortal souls and the collection plate will not make an appearance at all.

  25. says

    As others have pointed out, Teboat would seem to be the wrong flavor of xianity for a gathering of Catholics. As well, I’d think he’d be a little old for Catholic clergy’s taste.

    @ Draken # 11, I see what you did there.

  26. slc1 says

    Re matty1 @ #25

    The rate is now around 50% in the US, down from 90% fifty years ago. I haven’t investigated the situation but there are probably scholarly papers around that discuss the reasons why the US is unique among Christian nations in this regard (although I am informed that the practice is rather widespread in Australia for some reason).

  27. says

    That’s ridiculous. Everybody knows the Lord only cares about European football.
     
    slc1 “…(although I am informed that the practice is rather widespread in Australia for some reason).”
    It keeps the dingos out of it. “Hurts more than a dingo in the foreskin” is a saying for a reason, you know.

  28. matty1 says

    “Hurts more than a dingo in the foreskin” is a saying for a reason, you know.

    Thank you I didn’t even know it was possible to wince and laugh out loud at the same time.

  29. Moggie says

    fifthdentist:

    As others have pointed out, Teboat would seem to be the wrong flavor of xianity for a gathering of Catholics.

    I think the Vatican heard that he made a Hail Mary pass, and misunderstood.

  30. dingojack says

    SLC – saves from eating the whole baby….
    :) Dingo
    ———-
    I’d suggest questioning your ‘sources’

  31. says

    Circumcision is reputed to enhance resistance to some sexually transmitted diseases.

    So are condoms — but the Church can’t talk about that! Better to mutilate children than to change their doctrine…

  32. ema says

    [Tebow] was wearing gloves and a mask, wielding surgical scissors, and helping the doctors in the circumcision of boys, finishing off stitches with a snip.

    If stitches are involved during a circumcision something went terribly wrong.

  33. says

    “:Day 1: lowering the age of participation: how low is ethically too low?
    Day 2: maintaining amateur status: why they shouldn’t get paid for participating
    Day 3: exploring new avenues of recruitment”

    I don’t think that the conference has anything to do with altar boys.

    “… wow. The Catholic church printed this? That takes balls, man. Serious balls.”

    Never attribute to macho bravado that which can be explained by institutional tone deafness.

    “If stitches are involved during a circumcision something went terribly wrong.”

    Maybe they weren’t all boys?

  34. says

    Circumcision is still quite common in Canada. In 1970 the rate was reportedly close to 50 percent. By 2006-2007 one survey indicated it had declined to 31.9 pecent.

  35. Doug Little says

    Tim Tebow and Jeremy Lin to help bring ethical values back to a scandal-ridden world of sports Vatican.

    There FIFY.

  36. sceptinurse says

    @ema 39

    Stitches aren’t at all unusual on circumcisions done after infancy. It’s a somewhat different procedure then.

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