If there’s one thing that the Christian right loves, it’s a good Paradise Lost myth. This shouldn’t surprise anyone, of course, as it is the basis for the entire Christian mythology (the Garden of Eden and original sin, etc.). Here’s Rick Santorum and Tony Perkins waxing nostalgic over those mythical good old days:
Santorum: The cultural indicators that I talked about earlier that are sort of going the wrong way, we’re, you know, in ever-increasing numbers, less and less people here in America, you know, and believe in God, and believe in Jesus Christ, and believe in truth and right and wrong. It’s understandable, I mean, if you certainly, if you look at popular culture and what comes out of Hollywood, if you go to our schools and particularly our colleges and universities, they are indoctrinating in a sea of relativism and a sea of antagonism toward Christianity — religion in general, but Christianity in particular. And so it’s understandable that that happens, but we, you’re right. Abortion is a symptom, marriage is a symptom, I mean pornography is, all of these are symptoms to the fundamental issue that we’ve gotten away from the truth and the Truth-Giver…
Perkins: I remember my third grade teacher had a big Bible, one of the biggest Bibles I ever saw, sitting on the corner of her desk, and on the other side of the desk was a yardstick, and I think she used the yardstick more. In classrooms today, you couldn’t have either one. But that was, we date things in terms of A.D., that was B.R.G., Before Repressive Government, back when God was still welcome in our schools.
Yes, and I remember when all of this was just fields, as far as the eye can see. And you get a phosphate for a nickel at the Woolworth’s. About 20 years ago, my dad and I were helping my best friend move into a new house and that house was on celery street. His dad and my dad actually had a conversation about how the celery tasted so much better when they were younger. That prompted me to respond, “Even the nostalgia was better in the old days.”
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jnorris
January 22, 2013 at 9:42 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
According to the mythology, their Good Ol’ Days were 6000 years ago before a man, like themselves, screwed it up for all of us. And all they can do about it is hate people.
timgueguen
January 22, 2013 at 9:43 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yeah, Rick, the “good old days” when someone like Perkins would have denounced you as an evil Papist scheming to surrender America to the Pope, instead of working with you.
Gretchen
January 22, 2013 at 9:45 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Well, that’s refreshing, at least– they actually acknowledged that in opposing gay marriage, they’re opposing marriage.
cptdoom
January 22, 2013 at 9:56 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Of course, it’s not possible for either Santorum or Perkins to even consider that many of us no longer have faith in their God precisely because of the actions, words and beliefs of people like them.
Gregory in Seattle
January 22, 2013 at 9:58 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
dingojack
January 22, 2013 at 10:01 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
And here‘s Rick’s favorite song from those halcyon years.
Dingo
——–
Or perhaps this is more Rick’s style.
jws1
January 22, 2013 at 10:05 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ah yes the good ole days. Ya know, when that tea-party conservative from Illinois used the Federal Gov’t to infringe upon “real” Americans’ property rights in the South.
jamessweet
January 22, 2013 at 10:16 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It’s entirely possible the celery tasted better. Crops have been bred for shelf life and easy shipping rather than for flavor (which is not entirely a bad thing, when you think about it). Nevertheless, it doesn’t detract from your main point :)
Artor
January 22, 2013 at 10:22 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@jamessweet
Your point is well taken. Of course, nostalgia is manufactured, marketed & pre-packaged these days as well, so maybe it WAS better in the old days too!
eric
January 22, 2013 at 10:25 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
So, Rick, are you saying your wife moved away from the truth and the Truth-Giver in 1996?
tsig
January 22, 2013 at 11:01 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ahh… the good old days a bible on one side and a stick to beat it into you on the other.
Randide, O che sciagὺra d'essere scenza coglioni!
January 22, 2013 at 11:11 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’m pretty sure you can still have a yardstick in a classroom. As an added bonus, teachers now can actually use it for its intended purpose.
Draken
January 22, 2013 at 11:16 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Every time a fundie rants against pornography, I’d like to take a look in their nightstand. With a reporter with a camera beside me.
Draken
January 22, 2013 at 11:26 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Say dingojack, are you trying to rickroll us?
d.c.wilson
January 22, 2013 at 11:38 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Draken:
Who keeps porn in the nightstand any more? That’s what the Internet is for!
Larry
January 22, 2013 at 11:41 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ah, yes, those halcyon days B.R.G. When the brown and black people knew their place and stayed there and the queers were afraid to come up out of the basement lest the strong, virile, brave, white boys beat the shit out of them for, well, just because. And the women, they, too, knew their place, making sammiches for their man and raising the rugrats all day instead of doing real work.
oranje
January 22, 2013 at 12:00 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
And it was a yardstick, not one of those European socialist metersticks.
some bastard on the net
January 22, 2013 at 12:03 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@d.c. wilson
Remember the good ol’ days when the porn had to be hidden? There was no ‘delete browser history’ or ‘different user profiles,’ you actually had to go to shops to get the magazines (which only cost a dollar) and then you had to put it under the mattress or keep it in a locked drawer to keep the kids (and the wife) from finding them? What has happened to our porn-watching in this country?
Modusoperandi
January 22, 2013 at 12:22 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
A bible and a yardstick? Must’ve been before the budget cuts.
Rodney Nelson
January 22, 2013 at 12:31 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Things aren’t like they were in the good old days. Not even then.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar
January 22, 2013 at 12:42 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The good old days, when a child could be beaten without consequences.
magistramarla
January 22, 2013 at 12:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
That reminded me of a Sarah Palin word salad.
Can any of these wing-nuts put together a sentence that makes sense?
Crudely Wrott
January 22, 2013 at 12:44 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ah, yes. I remember the good old days. Why, back then, the kind of good old days that we could remember put today’s good old days to shame. Nothing like today’s flimsy good old days, nosiree. Back in the day, the good old days had solidity and staying power. Shame they don’t get remembered more these days.
Sastra
January 22, 2013 at 12:45 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Well, heck, I don’t believe in God or Jesus Christ because I believe in truth and right and wrong. You don’t get to include those first two things and pretend it’s all a matched set.
Rip Steakface
January 22, 2013 at 2:30 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I always get really pissed when people complain about “God isn’t in schools.” Other than the obvious Establishment Clause violation, it’s not that fucking hard to find a prayer group that prays before, during and after school. I live in fucking Washington state, the second most secular state in the country after Colorado, and yet there’s still a huge group (maybe 40 to 50 people) at my high school that gathers round the flag pole and says a big ol’ group prayer before school starts. Likewise, this occurs at both of the lunches and occasionally after school.
And this is perfectly legal and just fine by me. They don’t even proselytize, and it’s completely voluntary and non-school-sponsored, so it’s actually a model for any sort of public school prayer group anywhere. As I recall (it’s not exactly like I’m attending this a lot), there’s some faculty there that don’t lead the prayer (which could be seen as a government endorsement), so instead one of the more charismatic/outgoing students leads it.
There’s also a Bible Club or equivalent club/group at pretty much any school you go to, so it’s not like Christians are being oppressed here. Shit, my high school, despite the fairly high number of secular/atheist students (maybe a third of the people I know, if not higher – there’s a lot of self-proclaimed agnostics and “spiritual but not religious” types as well), doesn’t even have an opposing Secular Student Alliance or anything. There’s hackeysack club, Tri-M (the only club I’m in… band geek, what can I say), and ethnic clubs of all stripes, and yet not a single other religious club there. Not even one for the few Jewish students or Muslim students.
I don’t know if secular clubs get stopped at the gate by administrators or not, but I’m pretty sure they’re not around thanks to not enough people caring. I suppose I could go talk to an administrator about starting an SSA branch, but I’m a senior and I hardly know enough people who would care enough, especially since it’s not particularly a big deal to me anyway, even though I read both Pharyngula and Dispatches daily.
John Hinkle
January 22, 2013 at 3:09 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I can’t help but think that’s a euphemism.
gardengnome
January 22, 2013 at 8:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
magistramarla @ 22
“That reminded me of a Sarah Palin word salad.
Can any of these wing-nuts put together a sentence that makes sense?”
My thought exackly! When I try to read their incoherent guff I find my mind skipping like a stone over water. I get to the end, having read all the words, and realise I’m none the wiser.