Chuck Norris Endorses Netanyahu


Chuck Norris apparently thinks he has influence over the elections in Israel. He’s recorded a video endorsing Benjamin Netanyahu a few days before that country holds elections. It’s pretty funny to watch, especially because he starts by saying “shalom” and refers to himself in the third person.

“Shalom, this is Chuck Norris,” he begins. “With the elections just days away, Israel has an important decision to make, so let me tell you what Chuck would do. You might think I’m a tough guy in my films, but in a rough neighborhood like the Middle East, Israel has its own tough guy. His name is Bibi Netanyahu.

Seriously, he should have lifted up that black hat from Walker, Texas Ranger to reveal a yarmulke. Let me tell you what Chuck Norris would really do: Spout a bunch of ignorant bullshit, make himself look like an idiot and break a hip trying to do a roundhouse kick.

Comments

  1. tbp1 says

    Imagine how the right wing in this country would freak out if a non-citizen did something similar here.

  2. Randomfactor says

    Well, now we know what that “special extra free gift” was when Bibi bought the deluxe TotalGym off the late-night infomercial.

    “Act now and we’ll endorse your candidacy at no extra charge!”

  3. says

    You might think I’m a tough guy in my films

    I’ve always thought of him as Bruce Lee’s punching bag in Return of the Dragon. I still do.

    (BTW, I was just googling to double-check my memory on the movie name and punched in “chuck norris bruce lee” and google came back with a bunch of imbeciles saying that was the greatest fight scene ever in a martial arts movie. Nonsense. Lee versus Robert Wall in Enter the Dragon has that honor, though it was a relatively short scene. Ahem.)

  4. Michael Heath says

    Israel’s recent descent into conservatism is starting to match the U.S.’s. Specifically by the following: Implementing right wing ideas, those ideas fail miserably, that increases populist demand for a fascist strong-man. Conservatives double their commitment to their failed policies that rhetoric attracts the weak-minded looking for a strong-man so they win electoral office again, rinse and repeat. The more you fail at governing the more you succeed politically with your base.

  5. Rip Steakface says

    Is there a fool? The other one, then. Mr T don’t back no fools.

    Depends on the fool, no? If the foo’ is ’nuff of a foo’, Mr. T might pity that foo’. And thereby back him out of pity. Foo’.

  6. slc1 says

    Re Michael Heath @ #8

    Rather interesting the overlap between Rmoney and Bibi, both of whom are unashamed congenital liars. Former French President Sarcozy: I can’t stand him (Bibi), he’s such a liar; former Israel Prime Minister Sharon: You (Bibi) were born a liar.

  7. Crudely Wrott says

    I never thought of Chuck as a tough guy. I always thought of him as an actor. That is, I always observed him acting. Still do.

    actor, n: one who pretends to be someone else with widely diverging results.

    “Cut!”, cried the director as his shoulders slumped and he looked down at his feet for a prolonged moment. “Chuck, baby, you need to look fiercer. Fiercer! You need to follow through on those body blows and please, Chuck, baby! When you get knocked down please try to look like it actually hurt. Some realism, if you can manage it? Ok, people. Let’s take it from a minute fifty, right after the last roundhouse kick.”

  8. says

    Israelis played a role in making Norris a star. Cannon Films was run by Israeli film makers Golan and Globus in the ’80s, and produced several of his best known films, including Missing in Action and The Delta Force.

  9. yoav says

    And once again Israeli liberal shoot themselves in the foot by voting for a flavor of the second party led by the most pompous douchcnnoe, Yair Lapid, whose record consist hosting the worst talkshow in human history and being a spokesperson for a bank, and who would crawl into the netanyahu government where he will be a loyal yesman as his boss continue his neocon jihad against the public health and education systems and try to fuck up even the extremely low chance of any progress in the negotiation with Palestinians.

  10. slc1 says

    Apparently, Mr. Norris’ endorsement didn’t help Bibi much as his coalition lost some 11 seats in the Knesset. Unfortunately, we will still have to deal with congenital liar Bibi, although, if he puts Lapid’s party in the new government, that might trim his tail feathers somewhat. Despite Mr. yoav’s negative comments, that was quite an accomplishment for Lapid on his first electoral try.

    Hell, even the Shas party criticized Bibi for his inability to get along with President Obama.

  11. dingojack says

    So how did the far-right Israeli Nazi, my apologies, ‘Israeli Home’ party do then?
    (The seat allocations for the various party blocs weren’t mentioned in detail here).
    Dingo

  12. slc1 says

    Re dingojack @ #17

    According to the latest figures, they got 11 seats, somewhat fewer then pre-election polls indicated. Clearly Lapid was the big winner yesterday.

  13. yoav says

    I’m not saying Lapid didn’t do well, I’m saying it’s a bad thing he did. It’s become a pattern, every election cycle there is a new party that promise to change politics and every time it’s mostly liberals who fall for it and vote for it instead of the real liberal parties, helping the right claim that there is no more left, these parties then crawl into a likud coalition where they just do whatever Netanyahu want before evaporating in the next election to be replaced by the new and (not really) improved model. Lapid has a history of kissing the ass of people in power and he had more positions then Mitt Romney on any given issue, there is no way he will challenge any policy Netanyahu would push.

  14. slc1 says

    Re yoav @ 320

    Discounting the Arab parties (who together apparently will have 12 seats in the new Knesset), the only true left wing party is Meretz. The Labor party and Tzipi’s party are basically centrist parties.

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