July is Heterosexual Awareness Month

Here’s something I didn’t know existed (and doesn’t, really, except in the minds of bigoted assholes): Heterosexual Awareness Month. It’s in July (not to be confused with Straight Pride Month, which is November). And it has a Facebook group that shows quite clearly that it’s just another example of anti-gay bigotry. Here’s a meme they’ve released:

heteroawarenessmonth

And from the about page:

The mission of Heterosexual Awareness Month is to educate the world, commemorate our heritage, celebrate our culture, and liberate our people.

Heterosexual Awareness Month is a month-long annual observance of straight people, and the growing struggle of the rights and related civil rights put in jeopardy…

To stop heterophobia, protect marriage and promote heterosexual lifestyle, tradition and culture.

Help, help, I’m being repressed! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

And some gems from their Facebook status updates:

Among all the liberal belief systems, the homosexual ideology is the most self-centered or selfish – unlike the vast charity performed by heterosexuals, homosexual charity can be considered an oxymoron…

Leave your flannel shirts, mullets and Birkenstocks at the door, we are celebrating heterosexuality…

Heterosexuality has served humanity very well for thousands of years. Don’t hate us for being pro-humanity. We didn’t create the rules. We just follow them…

Leave your lisp at the door, we are celebrating heterosexuality…

Heterosexuals, by their very nature, promote systemic order and a civilized society centered around the basic family unit. There is a reason why only males and females can naturally reproduce. Heterosexuality is normal. Everything else is an aberration despite pathetic attempts to redefine words, concepts and human relationships…

I don’t hate your ‘kind’ but, my goodness you all disgust me. Time to straighten up!…

It’s 2013 if you are not hetero – SHAME ON YOU

The whole thing is so stupid that you have to wonder if it’s all a Poe.

Comments

  1. matty1 says

    The mission of Heterosexual Awareness Month is to educate the world, commemorate our heritage, celebrate our culture, and liberate our people.

    Heterosexual Awareness Month is a month-long annual observance of straight people, and the growing struggle of the rights and related civil rights put in jeopardy.

    Why do I get the impression this was originally written with the word White in place of Heterosexual and then ‘updated’?

  2. jnorris says

    Oh the poor dears. They need to celebrate Heterosexual Month now. FEMA doesn’t allow that sort of thing in the camps you know.

  3. roggg says

    Finally there’s something for the heterosexuals. What with all the hardships of being a repressed minority and all, it’s nice to see them finally getting some awareness.

  4. marcus says

    Come on, This has to be a fucking Poe!
    I’m declaring February to be right-handed people appreciation month. No lefties need apply! I am sick and tired of the gauche demands made by these Mollie Dookers. It really annoys me when supposedly moral companies start making things like “left-handed” scissors and shavers. I mean really! If people choose to follow this sinister lifestyle then they must accept the consequences that come with it. Stop oppressing me!

  5. says

    Leave your lisp at the door

    I suppose that’s part of the systemic order and a civilized society they are celebrating.

    I don’t hate your ‘kind’ but, my goodness you all disgust me.

    Even you don’t listen to you.

  6. Abdul Alhazred says

    About time. Gay men like me are in constant danger of becoming unaware of heterosexuals. :)
    .
    BTW, I do not particularly like the word “homophobia”, though not to the point of denouncing those who use it. I just think it’s a little too psychobabbly. I tend to use more straightforward formulations such as “anti-gay bigotry”.

  7. DaveL says

    In honor of heterosexual awareness month, TV networks will be airing romantic comedies featuring opposite-sex couples, and sitcoms involving heterosexual-led families, interspersed with commercials for products promising to make men attractive to women, and women attractive to men, and/or featuring happy opposite-sex couples.

    At the end of that month, they will return to doing exactly the same thing.

  8. alanb says

    One vote here for this being a Poe, although I have no doubt that there are people out there stupid enough to put something like this together for real.

  9. says

    I love how they have to say that “Heterosexuality has served humanity very well for thousands of years.” Can’t be splitting the bigot block by offending the creationists. Hell, if you let one fact in, might as well pack the whole bigot tent back in the bigot train and take the bigot freak show elsewhere.

    /angeratstupid

  10. Stacy says

    It’s satirical. On their photos page they’ve got a pic with the caption, “Fact: Hetero marriages cause less Hurricanes.”

    One earnest bigot is complaining that that’s making them look, you know, stupid.

  11. glodson says

    @ 13 Exactly. Satire, parody, or real, these stunts do net real bigots. As absurd as this set up is, many people following it buy in to the stupidity.

  12. says

    I sure hope the HeteroPride Parade isn’t held in my city. All those half-naked perverts celebrating their so-called “lifestyle” and rubbing their body parts against each other in some kind of straight bacchanalia.
    Oh, wait, that’s jut spring break in Panama City, Fla., isn’t it?

  13. Fred Salvador - Colonialist says

    Oh my Grawd! I thought I was the only person on Earth who found women sexually attractive! I had no idea there was a whole community of people like me out there! Thank you, Heterosexuality Awareness Month; now I no longer need to feel ashamed about all that sex I’ve been having with strippers and prostitutes and the Sixth-Form girls and sometimes even my wife (and sister in law)!…

    Wait, what? What do you mean by “unChristian”? This is what heterosexuality is, isn’t it? Having sex with people of the opposite gender? That’s exactly what I’m doing, I– now wait just a minute, why are you dragging… unhand me immediately! I’M JUST LIKE YOU!!!

    … and that’s why I was barred from the Heterosexual Awareness Club. Also the dormitory of the girls’ school.

  14. marcus says

    When AGBLT equality (I’ll have mine w/ oppsex pls) is finally attained I’m going to mark this moment as the date that I knew it would eventually happen. My area is hosting “Gay Ski WeeL” right now and it is always a blast (As everyone has noted “Straight Ski As Usual” has continued and will resume unabated next week for the X Games).
    What makes me say this is the fact that “Bud Light” is the sponsor of the annual “Gay Ski White Ball” this year, I know we have a long, long way to go but I think we may have just hit the tipping point.
    Side note: I would like to mention something that is a little OT but not really.
    A few years ago there was consternation that the costume competition that is held on the mountain as part of the festivities was getting more and more lewd and sexual . The local community reached out to the organizers and the organizers spoke to the celebrants and said this (essentially), “We share the concerns of the local people in that this is a public venue attended by a lot of different people, not to mention their children and our children so we are asking for more creativity and less blatant sexuality in the costumes.” Which is what happened. I mention this only to say that, obviously, the whole human community benefits from justice and equality, not just those that are discriminated against , but of course we all knew that.

  15. says

    In case a bigot shows up, I’ll point out the lie that isn’t very well hidden:

    Homophobia / anti-gay bigotry and heterosexuality are two entirely different things.

    Equality advocates want bigots to feel shame for their bigotry, not for their orientation. I have never had anyone try to make me feel guilty for being heterosexual (though I’m on the border with asexual). Being heterosexual does not obligate me to hate homosexuals, either. Just because you want to annihilate one group doesn’t mean that they want to annihilate you. We want everyone to treat others fairly despite any differences. We’re mature adults who want everyone to interact in a civilized manner. We don’t want to force people to change their orientation, we want them to adopt a civilized morality. Bigots, however, are immature, authoritarian control freaks who think they have a moral obligation to make people conform to their exacting plans for humanity. Bigots want to abolish the most basic precepts of morality for the sake of playing favorites and cry persecution when other people’s rights are respected.

  16. John Horstman says

    Another vote for delicious, trolling satire that’s clearly subject to Poe’s Law. I always hope that commenters who are smarter than the average bigot (like the one mentioned above) will take a look around at the heartfelt support for the obvious, over-the-top satire, and maybe re-think the company they keep and the processes that have led them to their bigotry. I see the bigot-bait function as an integral part of the way satirical activism works.

  17. John Horstman says

    @21: One sees the same false equivalence tactic with the equation of feminism and hating men. It only makes sense if one’s construction of heterosexual (or man) necessarily requires homophobia (or misogyny). Sexual-minority-rights activists only hate heterosexual people if one views all heterosexual people as anti-gay bigots (how insulting to heterosexuals!), just like feminists only hate men if one views all men as necessarily being misogynists. It’s population-scale projection of one’s personal bigotries. The framework of straight privilege is supported by insulting, demeaning views of both straight and queer people (though it exercises far more violence against queer people).

  18. kouras says

    homosexual charity can be considered an oxymoron…

    Leave your flannel shirts, mullets and Birkenstocks at the door, we are celebrating heterosexuality…

    Heterosexuality has served humanity very well for thousands of years. Don’t hate us for being pro-humanity. We didn’t create the rules. We just follow them…

    Leave your lisp at the door, we are celebrating heterosexuality…

    I’ve seen the ‘need-to-breed’ and insufficient-performance-of-masculinity type steaming piles before, but not the others. Are the first two parts here indicating stereotypes which thrive only in North America, or do I just not know enough arseholes to keep up?

  19. Draken says

    I object to the word ‘Poe’ as applied here. You do not call an apple falling to the ground, ‘A Newton’. Rather, it is an application of Newton’s law.

    Likewise, an expression of fundamentalism that is so absurd that it is indistinguishable from parody is an application of Poe’s law.

  20. danielboles says

    If the colloquial usage of a surname to denote a phenomenon bothers you that much, whether or not there are any parallels to unrelated other concepts, you may want to reassess your priorities in life.

  21. harold says

    Bronze Dog said -

    Equality advocates want bigots to feel shame for their bigotry, not for their orientation.

    Especially since at least some raving homophobe bigots are apparent or known closeted gay people themselves, and if anyone wants to get on me for saying that, read these two words first – “Marcus Bachmann”.

    (Mullets and flannel shirts? Are they anti-gay, or anti-hockey?)

  22. says

    Birkenstocks? Mullets? that is so eighties! Can’t these people keep their imaginary figures of derision up to date?

    Probably not.

    After all… being knowledgeable about fashion is so gay!

  23. says

    Heterosexuals can do whatever they want in the privacy of their own bedrooms, but they don’t get to ram their heterosexuality down our throats. I mean I’m all for for equal treatment, but they want special treatment.

  24. dingojack says

    Draken – ” You do not call an apple falling to the ground, ‘A Newton’”

    No, more like 9.81 Newtons

    Dingo

  25. says

    “If people choose to follow this sinister lifestyle then they must accept the consequences that come with it.”

    Marcus Ranum OBVIOUSLY did not go to a Cath-O-Lick school in the first half of the 20th century. Back then, the nuns were more than willing to beat the leftness out of their young charges, as “leftness” was a marker of demonspawn.

    “Just don’t Godwin the thread…”

    No worries, only nazis do that shit.

  26. Draken says

    Fags suck

    Only some of the time. They may also engage in anal sex, give each other a handjob or apply a variety of other techniques for mutual sexual gratification.

    I donated to your cause

    Oh noes! Ed, quick, check the site for any material that might offend Mr… Mr… what was your name again?

  27. says

    Unfortunately they are not exactly a poe. They’re bigot trash that tries – in vain – to be funny. So far we’ve seen death threats towards LGBT peoples, they’ve edited screen captures and people’s photos in lewd ways, they’ve posted pictures and personal info of gay activists and page admins, and strangest of all they use multiple profiles in the same threads to agree with themselves / enforce their points.

    I’m not sure what is wrong with someone to cause them to spend hours of their time daily to obsess over gay people. (I think they like the peenor)

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