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Jan 04 2013

Dumbass Quote of the Day

From our old friend Ray Comfort, who apparently thinks this is a logical argument:

We have other unique attributes that separate us from the animal kingdom. A dog may wag his tail, but he has no evident sense of humor. If you disagree, tell him a funny joke and see if he cracks a smile.

Maybe if he slipped on a banana peel…

36 comments

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  1. 1
    Amphiox

    The bombadier beetle has other unique attributes that separate them from the animal kingdom. If you disagree, try creating an explosion by squirting liquids out of your butt.

    The woodpecker has other unique attributes that separate them from the animal kingdom. If you disagree, attempt to drill a hole in a tree by repeatedly whacking it with your nose.

    The star-nosed mole has other unique attributes that separate them from the animal kingdom. If you disagree….

  2. 2
    Alverant

    @1 actually that first one can be done by eating my chili

  3. 3
    otrame

    Anyone who thinks dogs don’t have a sense of humor has never been around dogs much.

    But then this is the guy who thinks girl dogs and boy dogs evolved separately.

  4. 4
    Michael Heath

    Ray Comfort was Victoria Jackson before Victoria Jackson. Explain that.

  5. 5
    sinned34

    Creationists have other unique attributes that separate them from the rest of human beings. A creationist may tell a joke, but he has no evident sense of humour. If you disagree, try reading anything “funny” written by Ray Comfort and see if you don’t want to kill yourself afterwards.

  6. 6
    MikeMa

    For someone who says inane stuff every time he speaks, Ray should just STFU.

  7. 7
    marcus

    otrame @ 3 Agreed. Dogs also have a sense of shame and embarrassment (or at least mine did when I put on their new Halloween costumes), so they obviously possess a higher order of intelligence than Ray Comfort.

  8. 8
    The Lorax

    I once told a funny joke to a human being and they didn’t laugh. I guess that means I’m better than them.

    Either that, or they didn’t speak English, didn’t like my joke, couldn’t make out what I said, weren’t paying attention……….

  9. 9
    holytape

    I once told a joke to a Hyena, but all he did was explain to me why the fundamental structure of my joke was not amusing.

    However arctic fox kits do enjoy a good joke.

  10. 10
    ildi

    My dog also has a serious sense of guilt. I don’t have to wonder if she peed on the living room floor, I just have to notice that she refuses to go down the stairs and then go look for the evidence. (Normally she tries to kill me by getting under my feet in her hurry to beat me downstairs.)

  11. 11
    Alverant

    Rats laugh when tickled. It’s ultrasonic but detectable. Plus the rats’ behavior indicates they enjoy it.

    My cats have a sense of humor given how they act towards dogs.

  12. 12
    sinned34

    You people have it all wrong. Dogs might have a sense of humour but it’s not exactly the same as Ray Comfort’s, which proves the bible is literally true. Or something. Jesus is Lord!

  13. 13
    Donovan

    I shouldn’t state this without the evidence at hand (I read the article years ago in my sister-in-laws psychology journal), but dogs and cats do have a sense of humor and a sense of embarrassment, which is one up from creationists. They don’t, however, Mr. Comfort, understand a lick of English. This is why deciding what traits animals do and don’t have is best left to either scientists or, in a pinch, people not afflicted with fecalized neural matter.

  14. 14
    Abby Normal

    Ray made an observation, came up with a hypothesis, and proposed a test. Sure, the hypothesis makes some questionable assumptions and the test was fatally flawed. But compared to most of his previous comments this one demonstrates a remarkable improvement toward an ability to think rationally.

  15. 15
    Draken

    The dogs I know understand English pretty well, just as they do German, Danish, Dutch, French etcetera, with the minor limitation that ‘hmm’, ‘hey’, ‘well then’, ‘what’s the time?’ and ‘yes, please’ all mean ‘Let’s have food and a nice long walk in the rain’.

  16. 16
    Gretchen

    A dog may wag his tail, but he has no evident sense of humor. If you disagree, tell him a funny joke and see if he cracks a smile.

    Judging whether others have a sense of humor by whether they laugh at your jokes has an enormous flaw: maybe you’re just not that freakin’ funny.

  17. 17
    neonsequitur

    …and the dish ran away with the spoon.

  18. 18
    equisetum

    Maybe if he slipped on a banana peel…

    To the dog that would be tragedy. Now, if you slipped on a banana peel . . .

  19. 19
    Alverant

    How can you tell the difference between a smiling dog and their usual appearance?

  20. 20
    Doug Little

    Our wienie dog smiles, I don’t know what he is talking about.

  21. 21
    John Hinkle

    A dog may wag his tail, but he has no evident sense of humor.

    I don’t know. Both my dogs – with their eyes still closed – wag their tails when, in the middle of the night, I step on a cat hair ball and start cussing.

  22. 22
    steve oberski

    Ray, you’ve been looking at the wrong end of the dog.

  23. 23
    grumpyoldfart

    The shame is that his adult readers are nodding their heads in agreement and telling their children to “Listen to Mr Comfort…”

  24. 24
    scienceavenger

    I hate to break it to you Ray, but orangutans and chimps laugh, and right now, they are laughing at you.

  25. 25
    WMDKitty -- Survivor

    Gracie (cat) definitely has a sense of humor — she thinks its hilarious to wait until you get up to pee, and then streeeeetch out across the bed, taking up ALL the space.

  26. 26
    hunter

    Draken @15:

    Interestingly enough, one word that my cats picked up instantly was “Mine!” in relation to a snack I was eating. They immediately lost interest — maybe it was because I growled at them.

    Of course, my cats were apparently much smarter than Ray Comfort.

  27. 27
    Johnny Au Gratin

    My dog has no nose and no funny bone.

  28. 28
    usingreason

    Listen Ed, you seem like a nice fella. But a nice fella would not post a link to a Ray Comfort article and subject me to the comments there. When one has poor impulse control careless linking can cause massive-waste-of-time syndrome. It’s Friday night, ffs.

  29. 29
    dingojack

    Extinction? That’s a laugh!’

    Dingo
    ——–

    MEL: It’s a laugh, innit?
    GRIFF: What is?
    MEL: That sound you make when you’re pleased or amused.
    GRIFF: Yeah, yeah that’s a laugh.

  30. 30
    Crudely Wrott

    Actually, dogs do laugh. It’s subtle and you have to pay close attention to them in order to pick up on it. We know that paying attention to subtlety isn’t something that Little Ray does much so that’ probably why he never realized that dogs laugh at him all the time.

    It’s a sort of drawn out, panting vocalization with a fast exhale, normally with the tongue hanging out.

    If one simply Googles “how does a dog laugh” (as I just did to find reference to a fact that I’ve long known) the first page offers a number of informative links. But then Little Ray would never try that; might make him look silly.

    If I were a dog instead of a human I’d still laugh at him.

  31. 31
    tfkreference

    About 25 years ago, Edie Brickel sang about religion being a smile on a dog. Therefore, if dogs do not smile, religion is false.

  32. 32
    Pieter B, FCD

    Cats are pranksters, of each other and their human subordinates. Now whether pranking indicates a sense of humor as opposed to, say, barely repressed homicidal urges I would rather not investigate too deeply.

  33. 33
    WMDKitty -- Survivor

    Cats are the Universe’s reminder that not everything has (or has to have) a purpose.

  34. 34
    jnorris

    Ray Comfort isn’t telling his dog the right joke:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhmnOpoGAPw

  35. 35
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Pretty sure I’ve read that chimpanzees, bonobos and probably some or all the other “Great Apes” have an equivalent to laughter and a sense of humour that must go with it.

  36. 36
    dingojack

    Perhaps Ray needs to try something other than:

    ‘My dog eats no meat.
    How does he smell?
    So I bit him’

    Dingo
    ——-
    It’s a long story.

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