Jan 03 2013

The Thomas Friedman Op-Ed Generator

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Man, this is something that could and should have been done a long time ago: The Thomas Friedman Op-Ed Generator. Friedman is a first-class hack whose columns are little more than a pretty arrangements of words that add up to something so trite and obvious that you can’t believe you even bothered to read it.

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1

slc1

January 3, 2013 at 11:11 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment

Of course, compared to hacks like Charles Krauthammer, Friedman is an intellect of monumental proportions.
2

A Hermit

January 3, 2013 at 11:26 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment

But will Friedman start using this himself to generate columns? The cab driver I spoke to on the ride from the airport suggested that the next six months will be critical in answering this question…
3

Reginald Selkirk

January 3, 2013 at 11:32 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment

But will Friedman start using this himself to generate columns?

Maybe he does already. Who would know?
4

A Hermit

January 3, 2013 at 11:33 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment

LMAO…this was perfect…

“…capitalism is an extraordinarily powerful idea: If authoritarianism is Malawi’s curtain rod, then capitalism is certainly its flowerpot.”

Classic Friedman…
5

iangould

January 3, 2013 at 11:45 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment

I object to your description of Freidman’s columns, specifically to the use of the word “pretty”.
6

Doc Bill

January 3, 2013 at 11:54 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment

I think that was a typo. Ed meant to write “petty arrangement of words.”

I just generated an OpEd on health insurance that was fantastic Freidman!

Recently, I was irritated enough with one of his columns that I trekked to his website to express my disgust, not that he would give a rat’s ass. Basically, he wrote a reasonably (for him) well-thought out column then in the last sentence completely reversed his thesis. It was a stupid throwaway line that had no place in what he wrote.

Anyway, now he doesn’t even need to work. He can click a button, copy, paste, email and collect a check. Sweet work if you can get it!
7

marcus

January 3, 2013 at 12:19 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment

He was just in my bookstore yesterday (comes in a lot, Aspen ya’ know). If he comes in today I’ll be sure to point out this column to him. :)
8

Ed Brayton

January 3, 2013 at 12:21 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment

A Hermit wrote:

The cab driver I spoke to on the ride from the airport suggested that the next six months will be critical in answering this question…

You are hereby awarded one internet. Brilliant.
9

Gregory in Seattle

January 3, 2013 at 1:11 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment

The really funny thing is that it is not generating anything: it is just bringing in columns that Friedman actually wrote.

I think. I mean, how could anyone tell?
10

Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

January 3, 2013 at 1:24 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment

. . . little more than a pretty arrangements of words . . .

Can you give us any examples of Friedman’s word-arranging that strike you as pretty? Because I’m just not seeing it.
11

crayzz

January 3, 2013 at 3:45 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment

I’m actually interested in the code they use to generate this. The programmers have managed to produce a program that imitates human prose. Shitty prose, but still.
12

vmanis1

January 3, 2013 at 8:55 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment

I spent a few minutes on it the other day. It looked to me like a pretty straightforward Mad Lib generator (`If ___ is ___’s __, then ____ is its ____’), stocked with templates taken from a bunch of Friedman’s columns.

A friend of mine once wrote a 1-page program that got 17/20 on the British Columbia written driver’s licence test of the time. (The test was a random selection of questions from a test bank of a couple hundred questions written by some faceless bureacrat of long ago, with syntactic cues to the answer, such as, `if the question begins with MUST YOU, the answer is YES’.) The passing grade was 16/20, though I don’t know if the program ever did a road test. My friend was very amused when I told him that the person ahead of me when I wrote the exam had failed it. It takes a special kind of stupidity to be less intelligent than a one-page program.
13

Patrick from Michigan (Yes, that one!)

January 3, 2013 at 9:26 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment

You don’t like Thomas Friedman?

Huh, I guess you do have a redeemable quality! ;)

…and we have something in common. I don’t like him either.
14

Patrick from Michigan (Yes, that one!)

January 3, 2013 at 9:29 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment

Not only that… Have you seen that guys house?!?!!

His House
15

slc1

January 4, 2013 at 8:07 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment

Re Patrick @ #14

At one time, his wife’ family was worth 4 billion dollars, although their wealth ad declined precipitously of late. However, they still aren’t paupers.
16

dingojack

January 4, 2013 at 8:38 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment

Now if someone mated Thomas Friedman Op-Ed Generator with the Deepak Chopra Quote Generator….
Dingo
17

Raging Bee

January 4, 2013 at 11:01 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment

Dude, you need to understand that Thomas Friedman is not a billiard ball, and any attempts to treat him like one are a waste of time. Billiard balls do not change their number or position on the table when you click on a link. He may be a migratory bird though…
18

Raging Bee

January 4, 2013 at 11:02 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment

dingojack: EEWWW, you’re a pervert!
19

Patrick from Michigan (Yes, that one!)

January 5, 2013 at 7:45 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment

Re: #15 @ slc1

Yeah, I am inclined to believe that, with a house of that sort.

I don’t fault a man for his success or money. I fault him for being an idiot.