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Pat Robertson’s 2012 Predictions

It’s always fun to go through Pat Robertson’s annual predictions, which he says God gives to him directly the first week of every year while he’s praying (how convenient that God schedules around Pat). His 2012 predictions were for chaos and economic collapse in the country.

He said that the lord revealed to him who the next president would be, but that he wasn’t supposed to reveal who it would be. But he did say that God told him that “your president holds a radical view of the direction of your country which is at odds with the majority.” Given that Obama got five million more votes than Romney, it seems God is as good an election prognosticator as Dean Chambers.

God also allegedly told him to expect “a time of maximum stress and peril, greater than at any time since the CBN ministry began. This country will begin disintegrating.” CBN began in 1960. One would be hard pressed to argue that the country was in more “stress and peril” in 2012 than at any time since 1960. Since then we went through the Cuban missile crisis, the assassinations of JFK and Martin Luther King, Vietnam, Watergate and 9/11. Pat even lists those things and says that 2012 would be worse.

He says he even gave God a list of possible calamities that would befall us, from an EMP blast to solar flares to earthquakes and natural disasters to North Korea getting nuclear weapons. God told him, “it’s an economic collapse.” Not only did the economy not collapse in 2012, we had slow and steady growth and unemployment dropped a full percent. Gee Pat, you know what the Bible says about false prophets, don’t you?

We can contrast this with Kenneth Copeland’s 2012 predictions, which aren’t nearly as specific but he says God gave him a very different message:

“Have no worry. Do not be in fear about the United States of America. Don’t be in fear over the failure of this republic. This is not the time for this nation to fail. I’m not done with it yet. And it may come as a surprise to many; this nation is not done with Me yet,” saith The LORD. Hallelujah.

“We have a job to do. And this year will be like none other where this nation is concerned. And many will say, ‘Oh, woe is us! Oh, woe is us!’ And you know what? Oh, woe will be them.

“And there are others who’ll say, ‘Oh, we can’t win! We can’t win!’ And to them they can’t win.

“Ah, but to those of them who say, ‘Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. This is a time of greatness! America again! Oh, and it’s my nation and it’s God’s nation and we’re right where we’re supposed to be. He has us right where He wants us, and our future is bright because God is still LORD over the United States of America.’

Comments

  1. says

    I have rarely seen a more appropriate freeze frame* than the one displayed for that Kenneth Copeland vid. Good job, somebody!

    (*I’m pretty sure that’s not the right term, but I can’t think what is. Help?)

  2. shouldbeworking says

    Putting those two profits in the same room for a day might produce more craziness than the Whirled Nut Daily.

  3. frankb says

    Copeland’s pose reminds me of Charlie McCarthy. “I am a puppet for the Lord, yes-sir-ee!”

  4. says

    I used to watch the TV preachers for fun.

    I remember clearly that someone like Copeland preached about how 2009 would be a prophetic year because 2+0+0+9=11, and that’s an important number so you have to be prepared and it’s the end of the world and ohbytheway please send me $137 each.

    He was very very specific about the amount of money he wanted. $137. No more, no less.

    At least he wasn’t greedy about it.

  5. MikeMa says

    What is most disturbing about these prophets and prophesies is that in spite of them continuing to be so wrong yet the believers continue to send money. And adoration. What an ignorant group.

    Religion may not poison everything but it does shunt critical thinking to ground.

  6. alanb says

    There are also the oldies but goodies from Pat: a tsunami may* strike the Pacific Northwest in 2006 and terrorists will attack the U.S. in the latter half of 2007. (“All I can think is that somehow the people of God prayed, and God in his mercy spared us,” he said in January 2008.)

    * One of Pat’s few uses of weasel words.

  7. raven says

    What is most disturbing about these prophets and prophesies is that in spite of them continuing to be so wrong yet the believers continue to send money.

    Much of that money goes for mansions, fast cars, big boats, whatever high end drugs and alcohol they desire, jewelry, lawyers, and cute boys and girls.

    Got to laugh at how some xians waste their money on vaguely humanoid toads.

    Oh well, money spend on high living is money not spent on overthrowing the government or the Tea Party. So any xians reading this, do check your bank accounts. Send it all to the televangelist of your choice. I recommend the Crouches of TBN. They are in some legal difficulty and their lawyers have to eat too.

  8. says

    While not specifically a prophecy, when Tim Tebow was traded from the Denver Broncos to the New York Jets in 2012, Pat said something along the lines of it would serve Denver right if Peyton Manning got injured.

    Fast forward to the present, and Denver is in the playoffs and they won 11 games in a row. Funny how Tebow’s six game winning streak was attributed to the hand of god, but these same Bible thumpers are silent on Manning’s 11 game streak.

  9. John Hinkle says

    He says he even gave God a list of possible calamities that would befall us…

    I’ve heard of cafeteria Xians, but this is new: the cafeteria God.

  10. says

    He says he even gave God a list of possible calamities that would befall us, from an EMP blast to solar flares to earthquakes and natural disasters to North Korea getting nuclear weapons.

    Wait a minute. Pat gave God a multiple choice list and said “choose one”? And God didn’t smite him right then and there for his impudence?

  11. Moggie says

    Area Man:

    Wait a minute. Pat gave God a multiple choice list and said “choose one”? And God didn’t smite him right then and there for his impudence?

    No, you misunderstand: it’s a parlour game. You know, like twenty questions?

    God: I’m thinking of a calamity which will befall my chosen land, the USA.
    Pat: Hmm… is it a tsunami?
    God: No.
    Pat: Does it involve magma?
    God: No.
    Pat: Is it caused by people?
    God: Mmm, yes, in a sense.
    Pat: It’s zombies, isn’t it?
    God: Pat, if you’re not going to be serious, I’ll go play with Kenneth instead.

  12. dingojack says

    “*And it may come as a surprise to many; this nation is not done with Me yet,.”

    No, we’re not done wilh god yet. The ‘nones’ want do him SLOOOWLY, (holy moley!)*…..
    Bwhahahahahaha!!!
    :) Dingo
    ———-
    * Something like this. (Note the language is pretty much Keating/Hewson quotes)

  13. Crudely Wrott says

    And it may come as a surprise to many; this nation is not done with Me yet.
    –God

    Maybe not yet, but there’s a great day a comin’!

  14. gratch says

    I like the part where in Pat Robertson’s world God measures time as Pre CBN and Post CBN. Because apparently that’s the most important event God can think of.

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