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The Ten Craziest Worldnutdaily Stories

If there’s anyone who reads the Worldnutdaily — and a variety of other far-right sources as well — more than I do, it’s the folks at Right Wing Watch. They actually listen to every Glenn Beck and Bryan Fischer show too, which surely must place them in line for some sort of medal. And now they’ve even put together a list of the ten most absurd WND stories of all time, which they rightly call a “Herculean task.” Here are a couple of my favorite, which I’ve linked to here as well:

1. The Bible Code Forecasts a Romney Victory

WND’s “award-winning” executive news director Joe Kovacs just before the election wrote an article based on a YouTube video he saw about how the “Bible Code” prophesizes “bad news for Barack Obama” as apparently the “hidden texts in the Holy Bible indicate Mitt Romney will be America’s next president.” Not only would Romney win, but the Bible Code even predicted Romney will be a “fitting president” who has God’s favor…

3. Obama Building ‘FEMA Concentration Camps’

WND commentator and Faith 2 Action president Janet Porter wondered if President Obama was using the fears about the Swine flu to “round up American citizens” and put them into “FEMA concentration camps.” Porter has also used her WND column to push fears that Obama would enact “jail sentences for those who seek treatment outside the socialized health care system” and create a massive “food shortage” so opponents will be “starved to death.”

4. Obama Plans Negotiations with Osama Bin Laden

Porter in WND predicted that Obama bin Laden will be overjoyed by Obama’s election as President and will even be able to meet with him personally. Like most other predictions in WND, this one turned out to be false.

In fact, their wildly paranoid predictions never actually come true. In the real world, that would discredit them; on Planet Wingnuttia, it helps them.

Comments

  1. Michael Heath says

    Adding Rick Santorum to their list of columnists should help mainstream them even further into conservative Christianity.

    It’d be very interesting seeing the demographics on those who read the WND. I assume nearly all their readers don’t have a bachelor degree or above from a non-Christian college. I wonder if a disproportionate number of their younger readers were either home-schooled or attended conservative protestant K-12.

  2. dingojack says

    Eddy: [in WND guise]: Inside me, darling, inside me, are 10 crazy stories struggling to get out!!
    Mrs M: What, darling, only ten?

    Dingo
    [With apologies to Jennifer Saunders].

  3. otrame says

    As Steve Shives* says, the hard part is only picking ten.

    *. Check out his YouTube channel, he’s pretty cool.

  4. abb3w says

    Specifically, the task would appear a close relative to Hercules’ cleaning of the Augean Stables.

  5. says

    Porter in WND predicted that Obama bin Laden will be overjoyed by Obama’s election as President and will even be able to meet with him personally.

    RWW could use a new editor or two, that’s a really unfortunate typo >_>

  6. criticaldragon1177 says

    Ed Brayton

    I’m not sure that the fact that none of their predictions comes true really helps, them, other than the fact that I wouldn’t want almost any of them to come true and neither would they. But it’s definitely not hurting them like it should. No one should take World Nut Daily seriously as a source. Even if there’s one or two extremely rare instances when their broken clock happens to be right twice a day, the place is full of paranoid conspiratorial garbage and pseudoscience that anyone taking them seriously deserves to be made fun of.

  7. sailor1031 says

    I seem to remember that FEMA was building those concentration camps during the Dubya presidency too. So this is not just an Obama conspiracy. And people wonder why I refuse to become a citizen of the USA….

  8. says

    They actually listen to every Glenn Beck and Bryan Fischer show too, which surely must place them in line for some sort of medal.

    More like combat pay and treatment for life for PTSD.

  9. yoav says

    4. Obama Plans Negotiations with Osama Bin Laden

    He just used what Anakin Skywalker referred to, in the crappy starwars trilogy, as aggressive negotiations.

  10. says

    ” Huh? Would you care to elaborate?”

    That’s called a joke. Obama watched a live video feed (among other stuff) of the SEAL attack on Bin Laden’s compound.

  11. caseloweraz says

    What Yoav said.

    It calls to mind a line uttered by Auric Goldfinger (paraphrased): “No, Mr. bin Laden; I expect you to die.”

  12. Olav says

    Ed:

    They actually listen to every Glenn Beck and Bryan Fischer show too, which surely must place them in line for some sort of medal.

    Psychological counsel, more like :-P

  13. ehmm says

    9. Norway Terrorist Attacks a ‘Fabrication’ by the Victims

    “Disgusting” doesn’t even come close to being a strong enough word.

  14. eric says

    Love the “Bonus” one too – ‘Obama to build the Death Star!!!’
    At least with that one, the WND folks are able to understand the petition is a satirical response to secessionist articles.

  15. abb3w says

    Sisyphus had to roll a rock up a hill, when it kept rolling back down.
    The Augean Stables, however, were utterly packed with bullshit.

    The latter seems the closer comparison.

  16. abb3w says

    @22, yoav:

    I think it was horseshit.

    No; oxen or other cattle. For example, from Bullfinch:

    Another labor was the cleaning of the Augean stables. Augeas, king of Elis, had a herd of three thousand oxen, whose stalls had not been cleansed for thirty years. Hercules brought the rivers Alpheus and Peneus through them, and cleansed them thoroughly in one day.

    At least two other texts at Project Gutenberg agree:

    To cleanse the Augean Stables now he’s sped,
    Where thirty years three thousand Oxen fed;
    The task for man too great. A river’s course
    He turn’d, & thro’ the stables urged its force,
    The tide resistless rolls, and in one day
    The gather’d filth of years is swept away.

    Augeas was king in Elis and had great herds of cattle. These herds were kept, according to the custom, in a great inclosure before the palace. Three thousand cattle were housed there, and as the stables had not been cleaned for many years, so much manure had accumulated that it seemed an insult to ask Hercules to clean them in one day.

    Feel free to check back through Google Books; there may have been a variant that cropped up about horses, but the oldest ones I can find are all oxen or other cattle.

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