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Dec 05 2012

Beisner: Not Using Fossil Fuels Insults God

Bryan Fischer had Calvin Beisner of the Cornwall Alliance, the wingnut world’s go-to guy for anti-environmental idiocy, on his radio show last week and they had their typically ridiculous conversation. They said that not using all the coal, oil and natural gas that God provided for us is an insult to God, just like being negative when you get a Christmas present you don’t like. Oh, and God buried them really deep because he likes to watch us find them.

So wouldn’t it also be an insult to God not to use the sun and the wind to produce energy? Or does this only apply to fuels that are buried deep in the earth and relatively difficult to find and extract?

30 comments

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  1. 1
    Mr Ed

    So God put marijuana right out where we can find it so my guess is that every time you pass the joint baby Jesus cries.

  2. 2
    Randomfactor

    And those sex organs are just going to waste before marriage…surely god wouldn’t want us not to use our god-given equipment.

  3. 3
    dingojack

    Mr Ed – Bong hitz 4 Jesus?
    :) Dingo

  4. 4
    imrryr

    It was nice of God to put our sex organs right within arm’s reach.

  5. 5
    andrewjohnston

    I always wondered why conservatives were so dead-set on using only fossil fuels. It’s almost like a religious cause. As it turns out, it literally is a religious cause to some people. Go figure.

  6. 6
    Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    And rocks, for flinging at other people unto death. Not stoning people is an insult to God.

  7. 7
    Kevin

    And poison ivy. It’s everywhere. It would be a sin not to roll around it in.

    This, of course, is typical Dominionist rhetoric. They really and truly believe that Jesus will return when the last tree is felled.

  8. 8
    scienceavenger

    I guess its a waste of my fist to keep it away from Bryan Fischer’s face.

  9. 9
    jws1

    “As it turns out, it literally is a religious cause to some people.”

    You mean, like the illustrious lancifer?

  10. 10
    lldayo

    This would explain the urges of Catholic priests…

  11. 11
    composer99

    That is some grade ‘A’ crackpottery right there.

  12. 12
    some bastard on the net

    God has buried those treasures there because he loves to see us find them.

    Given the thousands of deaths that happen while trying to get to these treasures, I am forced to conclude that God is really Jigsaw.

  13. 13
    Area Man

    “Oh, and God buried them really deep because he likes to watch us find them.”

    So it’s more like an Easter Egg hunt than a Christmas present. Are we supposed to believe that the harder it is to find something, the more God wants us to do it? Maybe that’s why he invented the G-spot.

  14. 14
    w00dview

    Always baffles me how christians such as Fischer seem to cling onto any excuse to treat God’s creation as their personal dumping ground. I mean, asking for consistency in fundies is futile but still.

  15. 15
    Chiroptera

    They said that not using all the coal, oil and natural gas that God provided for us is an insult to God….

    I bet that’s what the Romans thought about the Christians when they were wondering where to get lion food.

  16. 16
    Area Man

    “I mean, asking for consistency in fundies is futile but still.”

    They’re very, very consistent in reaching the conclusions they want.

  17. 17
    eric

    We have to dig for uranium too. And processing it into fuel is much harder than processing oil.

    And think of all that sunlight going to waste. And wind. And tidal force. Geothermal heat just sitting there, with us merely sitting on top of it like ungrateful regifters.

  18. 18
    Reginald Selkirk

    eric #17: We have to dig for uranium too. And processing it into fuel …

    Fuel? God haz given us hydrogen bombs!

  19. 19
    andrewjohnston

    I bet that’s what the Romans thought about the Christians when they were wondering where to get lion food.

    If Saturn didn’t want us to force enemies of the state to fight wild animals, then why’d he make it so fun to watch?

  20. 20
    Modusoperandi

    “So wouldn’t it also be an insult to God not to use the sun and the wind to produce energy?”

    Gas and coal are fuel for God’s burnt offerings.

    Area Man “Are we supposed to believe that the harder it is to find something, the more God wants us to do it? Maybe that’s why he invented the G-spot.”
    The G-spot isn’t hard to find. It’s right after “red wine” and “Barry White” but before “her husband comes home early”.

    w00dview “Always baffles me how christians such as Fischer seem to cling onto any excuse to treat God’s creation as their personal dumping ground. I mean, asking for consistency in fundies is futile but still.”
    God told Adam to hold dominion over the world, but He only told him to “dress and keep” the Garden. So there!

  21. 21
    John Hinkle

    They said that not using all the coal, oil and natural gas that God provided for us is an insult to God

    Proverbs 12:16: Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult.

    Well, there you have it. God really doesn’t mind if we don’t use up all the fossil fuels.

    Next!

  22. 22
    bahrfeldt

    If the one true god really wanted us to use more solar, geothermal, water and wind power then the distributors of such would be honoring said god by providing Fischer, Beisner et al with lotsa money to use to spread the divine word.

  23. 23
    emc2

    How do we know that God didn’t put fossil fuels there as a temptation that we’re not supposed to use? He’s been known to test people in that way.

    Or maybe oil, coal, etc. was placed by Satan to trick us into using them as way to destroy God’s creation. He probably put them there at the same time he placed all those fossils.

  24. 24
    caseloweraz

    “They said that not using all the coal, oil and natural gas that God provided for us is an insult to God, just like being negative when you get a Christmas present you don’t like.”

    I guess that’s why God put the major sources of oil in the Middle East, under control of regimes that worship Allah. And in Russia, where those godless communists live.

    “Oh, and God buried them really deep because he likes to watch us find them.”

    God must have really enjoyed watching the Macondo Well blowout in the Gulf of Mexico, April 2010.

  25. 25
    Reginald Selkirk

    He probably put them there at the same time he placed all those fossils…

    Actually, yes.

  26. 26
    Ichthyic

    If the one true god really wanted us to use more solar, geothermal, water and wind power then the distributors of such would be honoring said god by providing Fischer, Beisner et al with lotsa money to use to spread the divine word.

    OTOH, solar, water, and wind are rather uniformly distributed.

    hmmm.

  27. 27
    Ichthyic

    They’re very, very consistent in reaching the conclusions they['re told to] want.

    fixed.

  28. 28
    thebookofdave

    @Kevin #7

    Don’t do it, Kevin! That would be misuse of God’s bounty. Genesis 1:29 clearly states poison ivy is meant to be food.

    Bon Appetit!

  29. 29
    mildlymagnificent

    Well, I don’t know about USA, but Australia certainly has to up its game and get right back into those asbestos deposits.

    God put ‘em there! So we’d be able to build houses after we dug the stuff up, *and* get a whole lot of miners and builders and DIYers and their families to their ‘heavenly reward’ a whole lot sooner.

    Sounds like one of those perfect, closed circle, godzplan thingies.

  30. 30
    lofgren

    If god wanted us to use more solar and wind power, he would have made their owners rich already.

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