I am endlessly amused by the ridiculous drivel that is shoveled out by Lou Engle, Cindy Jacobs and the other leaders of the New Apostolic Reformation. They all believe themselves to be prophets and they seem to think every dream they have is God telling them something. And always something incoherent like this from Charles Pierce:
In my book Redeeming the Time, I wrote the following: “On May 31, 2008, the Lord showed me His triumphant reserve. He raised me and showed me the nation of the United States of America. First, He revealed His remnant and where they were positioned. Next, He showed me their strength from state to state to state. He showed me how many were moving over into the enemy’s camp of religion. He showed me how others were aligning around race and gender as opposed to mission call and gifting.
Then He showed me high places. These were altars that had been built by the enemy and positioned strategically throughout the land. I saw how the sacrifices on these altars were empowering and keeping an atmosphere held captive by ruling hosts. Next, the Lord showed me the atmosphere. In this vision, He showed me different layers of the atmosphere in relationship to His presence versus the demonic spiritual rule in that particular area or region. (Some areas have already been taken over, and darkness actually rules those areas.) There were 10 ruling centers already developed within the United States. Then He showed me the communication systems between these centers. I saw how one sacrifice empowered one dimension of an evil presence, and then that presence would communicate to another center as together they networked their plan of control. (I could go into great detail here, but I will wait for another time to do this. As a matter of fact, I believe it would be unwise to share everything I saw. In the next book when we are dealing with worship, perhaps I will share more.)…
Next, He showed me how the communication system in the United States was linked with systems internationally and how a new form of global communications was forming in the demonic world. This communication would control financial and legal structures.
The fact that there are people, lots of people, who do anything other than point and laugh at this stuff is rather disturbing.

38 comments
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John Hinkle
November 19, 2012 at 2:28 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ahhh, I was wondering where he was going with that tossed 3-bean word salad.
cbrazelton1
November 19, 2012 at 2:38 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Hmmm…demonic communication network. I think he’s talking about Twitter.
Chiroptera
November 19, 2012 at 2:39 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Wow. That’s some Revelations grade incomprehensibility there.
busterggi
November 19, 2012 at 2:56 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Religion is the cheapest drug ever found unless you consider the cost of losing one’s mind.
tsig
November 19, 2012 at 2:57 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
If he’d thrown in a “It shall come to pass” it might be bettter.
tsig
November 19, 2012 at 2:59 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
4.
Lose your mind, find god seems a good trade off to mahy.
Mark Sherry
November 19, 2012 at 3:08 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I could see the workings of a demonpunk[1] setting there. Demons have overrun the Earth, and most of the US is a shadow-haunted wasteland. Air travel is now impractical on account of what happens to living things travelling at those altitudes.
There are only ten major population centres remaining. Unknown to most of the people living there (or perhaps deliberately ignored), the only reason these last few refuges have been spared are due to the regular sacrifices made by their rules to appease the controlling Principalities.
With satellite launches impractical and terrestrial communications having fallen into disrepair or worse, any communication between populations centres has to be mediated by messenger imps. Naturally, these demons have their own fees to be paid…
—-
Of course, in my setting, everyone knows there’s something wrong, even if the exact nature of the problem has been kept secret. Also, it’s actually coherent.
[1] Like cyberpunk but with fewer mirrorshades and more human sacrifice.
Christoph Burschka
November 19, 2012 at 3:16 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Compared to this, Revelations is coherent.
DaveL
November 19, 2012 at 3:18 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
That sounds like quite the PowerPoint presentation. I’d love to know what graphical scheme he used to denote the different atmospheric layers and their relationship to his presence vs. demonic spiritual rule.
F
November 19, 2012 at 3:40 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Teh Intarnetz?!
jnorris
November 19, 2012 at 3:58 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
His god showed him how the demons were taking ver the USA including their telecommunications networks and did nothing to stop it. Some god.
Larry
November 19, 2012 at 4:32 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I don’t care who the ISP is of this demon network, I want it! It still has to be better than Comcast.
Loqi
November 19, 2012 at 4:37 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
A global communications network powered by sacrifice and operating via interdimentional tunneling that even all powerful god cannot stop? Sounds way better than my shitty Comcast service. Where do I sign up?
lagnar
November 19, 2012 at 4:37 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
To quote Greg House: “a person that talks to god is religeous,
a person god talks to is psychotic”
Imho that sums up situation
Loqi
November 19, 2012 at 4:39 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@Larry
That joke would have been mine if my submission speed weren’t hampered by constant disconnects!
WMDKitty (Always growing and learning)
November 19, 2012 at 4:41 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
So… someone obviously missed the warning about the brown acid.
frankb
November 19, 2012 at 4:46 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
But you going to have to wrestle the GOP..um I mean demons for it.
peterh
November 19, 2012 at 4:48 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@ #1:
That’s an insult to beans.
John Pieret
November 19, 2012 at 4:49 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
There were 10 ruling centers already developed within the United States.
Oh, let’s guess … Washington D.C., San Francisco (teh gayz), New York, Chicago, New Orleans, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Philadelphia, Seattle … starting to get a little tough now … Atlanta?
fifthdentist
November 19, 2012 at 5:01 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Not only missed the warning, WMDKity, but took about 12 hits.
I’m sure it was fun for the first couple of days, but I can’t imagine being that fucked up — to the point of hearing voices and being in the grip of visual hallucinations — for four decades or so.
Sastra
November 19, 2012 at 5:05 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Frankly, I’m impressed by the communication skills of the Lord. There’s an enormous amount of information in every single one of the things He “shows” Pierce. He can’t just be showing him things. God must be describing complicated global plans and systems and networks in detail — in what, one day? Wow.
caseloweraz
November 19, 2012 at 5:10 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Charles Pierce wrote: “As a matter of fact, I believe it would be unwise to share everything I saw.”
Let me fix that for you: s/everything/anything.
BTW: I’m sure this is not the Charles P. Pierce who wrote Idiot America.
slc1
November 19, 2012 at 5:16 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Re John Pieret @ #19
Let’s not forget Portland, Or. Lot of greenies there.
Moon Jaguar
November 19, 2012 at 5:18 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
John @ 19:
Columbus, Ohio is a power center. It is a putrid swamp of pure evil in the Mother of All Swing States.
Larry
November 19, 2012 at 5:19 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Hey, waiter! I’ll have what he’s smoking. [Note: Colorado only]
ottod
November 19, 2012 at 5:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I presume this Charlie Pierce is not the Charles P. Pierce of the Esquire Politics Blog. At least, I hope it’s not.
Brain Hertz
November 19, 2012 at 6:26 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
LOL. I think that wins an Internet… not necessarily demon-powered, though.
tainthammer
November 19, 2012 at 6:30 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“He showed me how others were aligning around race and gender as opposed to mission call and gifting.”
Gifting? Am I the only one who stumbled on this? Are they that obvious in their greed? People are supposed to rally around giving to their churches? Simply stunning.
sc_cf7ce699e1e5259b3aba87c6aeb083b6
November 19, 2012 at 7:01 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I read it twice and still didn’t understand it,I guess that i’m not going to make it to the promised land.
jba55
November 19, 2012 at 7:32 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ok, fun is fun, but a serious issue has been brought up by all this. Larry at twelve really hits it on the head:
“I don’t care who the ISP is of this demon network, I want it! It still has to be better than Comcast.”
If I had known I could sell my soul to a demon ISP for quality internet I never would have sold my soul to Comcast! I was not made aware of the alternatives, I see a class action suit in our future.
Dalillama, Schmott Guy
November 19, 2012 at 8:01 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Mark Sherry @7
The In Nomine RPG would be a great vehicle for such a setting.
Ichthyic
November 19, 2012 at 8:06 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
ah, so that’s what they’re calling it these days.
Ichthyic
November 19, 2012 at 8:08 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
…I’m sure I’ll be getting spam mail soon, telling me how my “Triumphant Reserve” just isn’t big enough for her, and wouldn’t I like it to be larger?
cry4turtles
November 19, 2012 at 9:24 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Religious technology – two cans and string…evil technology – anything above two cans and string.
Artor
November 19, 2012 at 10:12 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’ve heard talk like this before; very similar in syntax & structure, such as there is. From paranoid schizophrenics off their meds. Seriously, the thought that this guy probably has access to guns is worrying. I’m sure he’s convinced Obama’s a demon, but what if he decides his grocery checker is demonic? Of COURSE you’d kill demons on sight- no sane person would let something like that live, right?
anubisprime
November 20, 2012 at 4:52 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Tis’ called making it up on the hoof!
There has never ever been a spoken linguistic form as this doofus writes.
He seems to think that is how ‘spiritual’ language is supposed to be
It is certainly couched to sound vaguely biblical, but the bible was translated, mainly wrongly, into so many languages over so many centuries that even the essence has been leached out of the text let alone context.
That cretins actually believe that is how Aramaic, or even Akkadian actually is grammatically spoken just flipped into English goes a long way in explaining the intellectual depths of the dumbasses!
It also demonstrates that the brain dead that get all breathless and panting at reading or hearing this nonsense actually are…incredulous, sycophantic, ignorant and rather sad!
Dunc
November 20, 2012 at 5:09 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Oh, you noticed that too?
Yup, last time I heard this sort of thing, it was from a paranoid schizophrenic telling me about how Mossad were stealing his thoughts.
democommie
November 20, 2012 at 7:41 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“God must be describing complicated global plans and systems and networks in detail — in what, one day? Wow.”
Hey, he built the fucker in less than a week, how complicated could the plans/revisions be?
Fellow Readers:
We would do well to remember that the same demons who are facilitating Satan’s takeover are the ones who gave Obamafemacommie the Evelyn Woods Speedmindcontrol course described in the post about the Georgia GOP. They convinced GOD that nothing was goin’on here, bub, move along, move along.
It’s fuckin’ Obi Wan Kenobe, all the way down.