FRC Prayers Answer Voltaire’s Prayers

The Family Research Council has a “prayer team” that sends out daily prayer messages to its followers, telling them exactly what to pray for every day. They’re quite amusing to read. Here’s one recent example, as they pray to God for their opponents to agree with them on everything:

God has given us tools to advance His Kingdom. But we must press in to Him for new power in prayer – like those in Psalm 149, Ephesians 6:10 ff and Rev 12:10-11. We must take hold of the horns of the altar AND the gifts of the Spirit, and accessing all the promises of God, tear down all the spiritual strongholds and vile spiritual things that exalt themselves against the knowledge of Christ (2 Cor 10:3-6). Whatever happens, we have been called to fight the good fight! (1 Tim 6:12).

Heavenly Father, yet grant us victory beyond these defeats! Reverse four states’ embrace of same-sex “marriage,” our national embrace of unprecedented economic irresponsibility; our affirming of those who advocate for abortion, homosexuality, lack of support for Israel, passive or active support for Islamist regimes and groups and other policies and practices that defy you and will bring harm to our nation (Dt 28: all; Ps 33:12; 90:1; Jer 23:19 ff; 1 Cor 15:56; 2 Cor 2:14; 1 Jn 5:16-18).

Please forgive us. Forgive our countrymen. Stir us to continue and to expand our prayer devotion; increase the power and effectiveness of our prayers; and radically expand the prayer revival among our churches. Bring revival and reformation to all of our churches! Bring America back to the Bible and guide us by Your Holy Spirit (1 Chr 28:9; 2 Chr 7:14; 15:2; 1 Kg 8:12; Is 55:6; Lk 18:1-8; Acts 3:19-21)!

Voltaire famously said that he had only ever made one prayer and it was to make his enemies ridiculous. That may be the only prayer in the history of the world that was answered.

Comments

  1. says

    Dear God,

    We’ve decided we don’t like democracy any more. Gays, and people who don’t hate gays, are voting. We want you to overthrow the established government. I know 1 Peter 2:13 tells us to submit to human leaders, but we just don’t like that bit of the Bible any more*.

    Love, Amen,

    The Family Research Council.

    *The bit about gays is still mandatory, obv.

  2. senor says

    These are like the X-Men or something?

    With a all- or logically-most-powerful and -knowing God, I’ve never really understood the concept of prayer anyway. God doesn’t control us because he gave us Free Will, except when we don’t like how that turns out, so we ask him to interfere with it.

  3. John Hinkle says

    We must take hold of the horns of the altar AND the gifts of the Spirit, and accessing all the promises of God, tear down all the spiritual strongholds and vile spiritual things that exalt themselves against the knowledge of Christ (2 Cor 10:3-6).

    Sounds like a euphemism for a gay bondage scene, right before someone receives “the gifts of the Spirit.”

  4. dingojack says

    Hmmm – consulting with a foreign power to overthrow the duly-elected government of the United States? Sounds pretty close to treason to me.
    Dingo
    —–
    richardelguru – I believe it reads, in the original: ‘We must fondle the alterboy’s naughty-horns, and make them a gift of strong spirits of Wine’. And the RCC has been complying with gusto. :/

  5. says

    So much for free will.

    That’s what gets me about this God character. He sees it fit to have tribes barbarically wiped about because they’re a problem, but he can’t just snap his fingers and do personality wipes, making the other tribe into community service volunteers.

    Both approaches would result in an end to that tribe being a problem, both would violate their free will, but one is a lot less needlessly bloody.

  6. blf says

    Reverse … our affirming of those who advocate for … passive or active support for Islamist regimes and groups

    WTF are these nutters talking about? Something specific, or is this just “Muslims under the bed” McCarthy-style paranoia?

  7. says

    So, which is God, an egomaniac who will only act if he hears his voice mentioned enough times, or a dom, waiting for his subs to finally say the safe word before he stops the pain?

  8. bradleybetts says

    “Reverse four states’ embrace of same-sex “marriage,” our national embrace of unprecedented economic irresponsibility; our affirming of those who advocate for abortion, homosexuality, lack of support for Israel, passive or active support for Islamist regimes and groups and other policies and practices that defy you and will bring harm to our nation”

    They could have just said “Dear God, please kill all the Democrats. Kthnx Amen”. It would have saved them alot of time.

  9. Michael Heath says

    FRC prayer:

    Heavenly Father, yet grant us victory beyond these defeats! Reverse four states’ embrace of same-sex “marriage,” our national embrace of unprecedented economic irresponsibility; our affirming of those who advocate for abortion, homosexuality, lack of support for Israel, passive or active support for Islamist regimes and groups and other policies and practices that . . . will bring harm to our nation* . . .
    [emphasis are lies per Heath]

    So the FRC asks its readers to lie to their fantasized god. It would be interesting to see research on how honest each sub-group of theists are when praying to their god(s), how the dishonesty rate varies, and which topics causes that rate to spike.

    *I realize that the ‘harm to our nation’ item is a subjective conclusion, i.e., an opinion. What’s dishonest are the premises FRC has long employed to justify this conclusion.

  10. Sastra says

    Doug Little #12 wrote:

    How far can someone go with this before you have to seriously consider them mentally ill?

    I read a book written by a psychologist (John Schumaker) who had done some work in an area of rural Africa where the people had a strong belief in magic. They brought a woman to him to be treated for madness: she was hearing spirit voices. The psychologist was puzzled. “But you are all hearing spirit voices,” he pointed out. “Yes,” he was told. “But she is hearing them at the wrong times.”

    His book was about the connection between religion, mental illness, and hypnotism. If you can evoke and control what would normally be considered pathological experiences well enough to keep them inside of the parameters of what your culture encourages, then you are not mad. It can be a fine line, though.

  11. busterggi says

    ” Whatever happens, we have been called to fight the good fight!”

    If your ‘fighting’ doesn’t matter then what’s the point?

  12. Ichthyic says

    It can be a fine line, though.

    usually broken when you see culturally inappropriate and random responses to standard behaviors.

    hand someone a fish, and they stick it in their ear, when they never did that before… something is wrong.

    it sounds harder than it is, really.

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