Best Pre-Election Rant Yet

We know that lots and lots of wingnuts were absolutely sure that Romney was going to win the election and ended up with egg on their faces, but this pre-election rant by Kevin DuJan, a “Christian gay man” and an “Out and Proud Conservative Republican,” may cause an overdose of schadenfreude. He’s telling his readers in advance to recognize the inevitable panic and fearmongering from liberals as they realize Romney is going to win:

Please take some time today to mentally prepare yourself for the psychological warfare and emotional terrorism that you’ll be inundated with on Tuesday, from the crack of dawn until the election is finally called for Mitt Romney (at about 9pm EST/8pm CST or so). The Ministry of Truth that is the national media is going to run psy-ops for Barack Obama all day, attempting to freak out conservatives in the last chance they have to keep people from heading to the polls and voting Obama out of office. Meanwhile, some conservative pundits and websites will be screaming “SHARK!” and also attempting to freak out Republicans…because the fear porn they push drives up web traffic and panicked people keep checking back with the site all day to see if it’s safe to go into the water again. Telling you there’s a great white in your bathtub has been a favorite trick of people like Ace at Ace of Spades, Allahpundit at HotAir, and Ben Shapiro at Breitbart because this sort of emotional terrorism gets people to tweet, email, Facebook post, and otherwise spread their articles far and wide…which drives up hits to their respective sites…and that in turn translates into more ad dollars coming in on Election Day…

You must understand that Minitru is going to keep claiming that “excitement is with Obama today!” or that “Democrats are coming out in droves to defeat Romney!”. They will show creatively edited video that makes it seem like Obama has large throngs of supporters headed inside to vote for him. But if you look closely, you’ll see it’s like North Korean propaganda where they show the same two dozen or so actors going inside…and then running out the back door and racing around the side of the building to join the line again at the back. They will do this all day.

There will be false exit polling coming in…with talking heads making up lies all day…and the whole point of all of it is just to freak you out. Freak you out and make you so crippling with frost-fingered fear that you can’t function on Tuesday and won’t be able to go out and vote or help other Romney voters vote. That is the point of all this propaganda.

You are too smart to fall for any of it…

I’m actually going to be watching MSNBC all day on Tuesday, from about 10am CST until the results are called later in the night. I’m going to treat it like the live stream transcripts I did of the presidential debates and will keep track of all the propaganda and lies that MSNBC tells people. This is the only time in my life that I will ever encourage people to watch MSNBC, but I am doing this because I want to see the meltdown that happens over there. I have been waiting for this for FOUR YEARS now. I expect it to look something like this when everyone in MSNBC studios realizes that Barack Obama is going to lose and the entire Regime of the Left is collapsing…

Tomorrow I am going to get the biggest honey-baked ham they have at the store. And I am going to eat delicious honey-baked ham all day on Tuesday. My friend Cecile in Michigan sent me two cases of Vernors and I’ll be drinking that as I watch MSNBC implode and panic. Justin’s going to be be out poll-watching with some other friends of ours, but I will be here manning the live stream coverage and making sure that it’s documented for history just how badly the Ministry of Truth behaved on Election Day…and how they melted into puddles of pure FREAK OUT when the state results rolled in.

I’ll also be watching several lefties on Facebook to monitor what the average Obama cultist is thinking as we get closer to Mitt Romney becoming out 45th president. It’s going to be marvelous seeing them all realize Nate Silver was lying to them and that there is in actuality a 0% of Obama being reelected. And there always has been, ever since Obamacare passed the House on March 21st, 2010.

Oh, such anticipated joy! Such bold prophecies of seeing his enemies slain before him! So what was his reaction after the election? God Has a Plan.

The Left was much stronger than we thought.

Tonight was a crushing blow.

America is not the place we thought it was.

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