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Nov 14 2012

America’s Secret Anti-Terror Tool: Cindy Jacobs

Mike and Cindy Jacobs are no strangers to making outlandish and ridiculous claims about their incredible powers of prayer. Why just two weeks ago they were firing up their prayer machine and taking on Hurricane Sandy, rebuking the storm in the name of Jesus (that worked out well, didn’t it?). Now they want you to know that they’re protecting you from terrorism:

14 comments

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  1. 1
    dingojack

    Well Cindy certainly is a tool, I’ll give her that.
    Dingo

  2. 2
    feralboy12

    These people terrify me. How is that helping?

  3. 3
    Gregory in Seattle

    I have a magical amulet that protects me from tigers. Since getting it, I have not even SEEN a tiger in Seattle, not one. It’s working! The zoo has even closed (temporarily) its tiger exhibit. Praise amulet!

  4. 4
    machintelligence

    Do you know why elephants paint their toe nails red?
    So that they can hide in a strawberry patch.
    Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch?
    Damned good disguise, isn’t it?

  5. 5
    Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    And what happened then?
    Well, in Wingnutville they say –
    that Al Qaida’s small heart grew three sizes that day.

  6. 6
    Michael Heath

    When President Obama was first inaugurated, Fox News was firing up the troops on a particular topic we don’t hear much about anymore. They seemed to be praying for any act of terror, no matter how trivial or massive, all in hopes of pinning it on the black Muslim Manchurian al Qaeda usurper whose regime had taken hostage to the White House. I’m sure they’ve moved onto other reasons to promote hatred and fear of President Obama, but let’s not forget how long and shrill they ran with that one. Or the fact they repeatedly promoted the fact good daddy George W. kept us safe during his entire tenure, which had them denying even the attack on 9/11.

  7. 7
    Artor

    @Gregory in Seattle
    I want to buy your amulet.

  8. 8
    cry4turtles

    Prayer cover? I that like a snotty blankie?

  9. 9
    cry4turtles

    “Is”

  10. 10
    greg1466

    Considering how the Sandy thing worked out, I’d really prefer you kept your prayers to yourself.

  11. 11
    John Hinkle

    Now they want you to know that they’re protecting you from terrorism.

    Their prayers + a multi-billion dollar security state = protection from terrorism.

    Why just this morning I prayed my dog would get some exercise + I took him for a walk, and lo! He got some exercise!

    It’s like

    Let p = prayer
    x + p = x

    Solve for p.

  12. 12
    composer99

    I don’t think it’s much of a limb to suggest that the Jacobs’ are, in Altemeyer’s parlance regarding authoritarian personalities, ‘double highs’.

  13. 13
    composer99

    Ugh. Seems I can’t comment anywhere on FtB without some sort of mangling of English.

    That should read “I don’t think it’s going out on much of a limb …”

  14. 14
    grumpyoldfart

    When Cindy goes into the counting room to open the prayer gift envelopes, she probably laughs, and laughs, and laughs.

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