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Boone: America Voted for God’s Judgment

Pat Boone, one of the many washed up has-been “celebrities” given weekly columns at the Worldnutdaily, offers his cogent and well-informed analysis of the results of Tuesday’s presidential election. Okay, he didn’t really. He offered the sort of patently ridiculous framing that one would expect from a man who aspires to mediocrity:

Without going into all the specifics, the lesser number voted for fiscal responsibility, limited government, respect for the Constitution and law itself, proven experience in management and success in financial matters, and adherence to time-honored, biblical values. For strong military defense, commitment to Israel and traditional families. Dull stuff like that.

The larger number (though just enough to gain dominance) enthusiastically voted for Big Brother socialist government, “redistributing the wealth,” anti-biblical values, geometric growth in national debt, a weak vacillating defense and a sapped, hamstrung military, relativistic disdain for the law and the Constitution itself, and more Marxists and socialists appointed to positions of power – including our Supreme Court – in the months ahead…

Don’t think that can happen to our America? Friend, our people have rejected the very same God and His way, and clamored after a king who has promised to provide, protect and lead them into a Promised Land where “everybody has everything.” So that same God must take His hand off those who have rejected Him and allow them to reap the consequences.

It’s not going to be fun.

Ah, cafeteria Christianity at its finest. Whatever happened to Romans 13?

Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. For he is God’s servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God’s servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.

If this is to be taken seriously, God himself established Obama’s authority.

Comments

  1. Thorne says

    Yeah, they always seem to forget those inconvenient parts of the Bible. Like rendering unto Caesar, and all that.

    Let’s face it, Christians. If you are a true believer, then you have to believe that God is in control. Therefore, it’s God’s will that all you theocratic assholes took such a drubbing last week. God wants Obama. God wants contraception. God wants healthcare. God doesn’t want YOU.

    And may Lucifer’s blessed light shine down upon your gloomy countenance.

  2. says

    @Thorne:

    Exactly. If God is in control, why can’t he control an election? If God is omnipotent, then can’t he make everyone vote Republican if that’s his desire? Yea I know that Christians will say “free will” but then God’s adherence to allowing free will is a limit and thus he’s NOT omnipotent.

  3. says

    Without going into all the specifics, the lesser number voted for fiscal responsibility, limited government, respect for the Constitution and law itself, proven experience in management and success in financial matters, and adherence to time-honored, biblical values. For strong military defense, commitment to Israel and traditional families.

    Unfunded wars and unfunded programs, vaginal wands and “show your papers” laws, maintaining Christian religious privilege, looting companies and getting rich from same, and casting the first stone. Exploding swarthy foreigners, backing the worst of Israel’s hawks, stepping on the queers.

    The larger number (though just enough to gain dominance) enthusiastically voted for Big Brother socialist government, “redistributing the wealth,” anti-biblical values, geometric growth in national debt, a weak vacillating defense and a sapped, hamstrung military, relativistic disdain for the law and the Constitution itself, and more Marxists and socialists appointed to positions of power – including our Supreme Court – in the months ahead…

    Healthcare for poor people, taxing rich people, not sticking it to the queers, Keynesian economics, the same military as above (but weak, for some reason), ladyparts, socially liberal/center-right appointees and judges.

    I’ve said it before, but the Obama that exists in their heads must be *terrifying*.

  4. tbp1 says

    And let’s not forget, Pat’s entire musical career was as a parasite, sucking the lifeblood from his musical betters.

  5. cry4turtles says

    I think America voted to reject Republican social conservatism. I don’t know anyone who thinks spending more than earned is sound. If Republicans regroup and kick out the idiots and actually present a plan that doesn’t gut our responsibilities to each other, I, for one, would be willing to listen. Pat and his ilk just don’t get it. Their fringe is getting fringier.

  6. naturalcynic says

    Brilliant political move there, Pauly. As big a suck-up as possible. Maybe it postponed the Christian persecution by Nero, maybe not.

  7. says

    relativistic disdain for the law and the Constitution itself

    I believe this refers to disdain as the speed of disdain approaches the speed of light.

  8. mikeym says

    Pat Boone was all in favor of “geometric growth in national debt” and “disdain for the law and the Constitution” when Bush was president and the 1% were raking it in. I guess he’s been born again, again.

  9. Stevarious, Public Health Problem says

    I’m tired of the lie that a vote for Romney was somehow a vote for fiscal responsibility. Romney’s plan was to drastically increase military spending while drastically decrease revenue from taxes. Where was that money going to come from except through increasing the deficit? Romney’s rich but he’s not THAT rich.

  10. says

    Stevarious, Public Health Problem, Trickle-Down will work this time. If that doesn’t, and it increases the deficit, we can cut the deficit with tax cuts. If that doesn’t, and it increases the deficit, we can cut the deficit with tax cuts. If that doesn’t, and it increases the deficit, we can cut the deficit with tax cuts. If that doesn’t, and it increases the deficit, we can cut the deficit with tax cuts. If that doesn’t, and it increases the deficit, we can cut the deficit with tax cuts. If that doesn’t, and it increases the deficit, we can cut the deficit with tax cuts. If that doesn’t, and it increases the deficit, we can cut the deficit with tax cuts. If that doesn’t, and it increases the deficit, we can cut the deficit with tax cuts.

  11. 2-D Man says

    OK, bring it on, sky fairy. Pat’s calling you out. Let’s see what ya got.

    Pat Boone says, “Skyfairy, I choose you!”

    Skyfairy uses ROCKS FALL EVERYBODY DIES!

    It’s not very effective.

  12. says

    But… but… the people express God’s will!

    At least, that was the argument being bandied about last week, when the right was crowing about how electing Romney would prove that God loves America.

  13. says

    @2-D Man – It is more like….

    Pat Boone says, “Skyfairy, I choose you!”

    Skyfairy uses HURRICANE. Romney voters in Georgia and the Carolinas have their homes and businesses destroyed.

    Skyfairy uses TORNADO SWARM. Romney voters in Oklahoma, Kansas, Arkansas and Missouri have their homes and businesses destroyed.

  14. revjimbob says

    What is this ‘commitment to Israel’ nonsense that we keep hearing from the American right?
    It is a fucking foreign country – your commitment should be to your own country’s self-interest – especially considering the nature of the present Israeli regime.

  15. says

    Yeah, because there was nobody in the Bible who gave away free health care.

    Approximately when did fundie Christians remove all reference to the hippie dude who advocated for the poor, the powerless, the prisoners and who hung out with a tax collector and prostitutes? And also encouraged his followers to not be a bunch of judgmental douche bags?
    They probably wouldn’t want to have anything to do with an unmarried adult male who spends most of his time with 12 guys in dresses. But enough about the Catholic Church.

  16. caseloweraz says

    “He offered the sort of patently ridiculous framing that one would expect from a man who aspires to mediocrity…”

    As a Christian, Pat Boone has now descended into ridiculigiosity.

  17. thalwen says

    @revjimbob: There is a prophetic part of the right wing that supports Israel because Israel is needed for their Rapture nonsense. I think it goes like – Muslims, the USSR, China will all attack Israel and kill all the Jews there, then God will come back kill all the Soviets, Muslims and Chinese and a bunch of other people for lulz. Then Christians get to go up to heaven, watch everyone else get tortured for 7 years and then Jesus comes back and happy-unicorn rainbows.

    And I love how he’s sure that his God is so for “traditional families” even though the Bible’s idea of traditional family is quite different from one man-one woman. And abortion… which isn’t mentioned at all in the Bible.. and tax cuts.. m’thinks the right is mistaking the GOP platform with the Bible.

  18. pocketnerd says

    As it happens, I discussed Romans 13 with a fundagelical last week. As far as he was concerned, the relevant passage was “There is no authority except that which God has established” — and Barack HUSSEIN!!! Obama is not established by God, therefore he’s not a legitimate authority.

    (And that’s the core problem of “proof-texting”: With a little imagination and a bit of contortionism, you can make the eternal, unchanging Bible say whatever you want it to.)

  19. iknklast says

    How can you vote for limited government and a strong military at the same time? The military is too enormous for the government to be limited. Oh, wait…that’s logic. They don’t know that.

  20. richardt says

    I’m not an American but how can Pat Boone say ‘Don’t think that can’t happen to our America.’? Whose America is it – by what process does he and those like him exclude the majority of the people? Whatever happened to humility and tolerance – the arrogance and pride of these folk makes them non-Christian by definition – fact check, I’m atheist – but then I suppose, any sect that can justify rape as being part of the Lord’s will can arrogate to itself a monopoly of goodness.

  21. Jim says

    @19, if you believe the book of Acts, it started within about a decade of said hippie’s execution.

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