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Nov 09 2012

Wingnut: San Francisco is Next

Kevin Swanson of Generations with Vision Ministry last week said on his radio show that the three most pro-gay cities in America are New Orleans, New York and San Francisco — so that means San Francisco is next for a major disaster, because God is “irritated.”

Swanson: The two worst storms, material-wise, in the history of America has happened in just the last five years and here’s the interesting thing about this storm, it hit New York City and if you’re trying to think of the most pro-homosexual, liberal cities in America, you would probably say, give me the top three most pro-homosexual, pro-liberal cities in America, it would probably be?

Buehner: New York, San Francisco, New Orleans.

Swanson: Yes, exactly. Now we have two out of three. The good news is San Francisco is in a safe location; well it’s on the ocean.

Buehner: God would have to move heaven and earth, well just really earth.

Swanson: Earth. San Francisco is still okay though, everybody understand, San Francisco is still okay, hasn’t had the big earthquake yet… yet…

Swanson: The hurricanes of the last ten years are four times worse than the hurricanes of the 1990s and twelve times worse of the hurricanes of the 70s and 80s, now this is interesting because I would say that the United States has not been honoring God very much, am I out on a limb here? The United States of America is more pro-abortion than ever before, certainly is funding more abortions than ever before; the United States is far more homosexual than it was in the 1990s, I mean there are hundreds of times more high school homosexual clubs and programs, and you’ve got California bringing all their pro-homosexual indoctrination into public schools. This stuff was not happening in the 1980s and 1990s, it’s happening now, it’s been happening for the last twelve years. America is not doing well in the macro-culture, okay? There is a God in the heavens and in the past, sins like homosexuality and the shedding of innocent blood have really irritated Him.

Yeah, the shedding of innocent blood really irritates god — unless he’s the one ordering it, of course. Then he loves it.

45 comments

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  1. 1
    blf

    It’s already happened. 1906. Remember, the Magic Sky Faerie’s temporal aim is as bad as its spacial aim (albeit it did seem to hit the right spacial coordinates that time, just the wrong millennium).

  2. 2
    Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    God is a Texas Sharpshooter, except its the wingnuts who paint the targets after the disaster.

  3. 3
    Doug Little

    The hurricanes of the last ten years are four times worse than the hurricanes of the 1990s and twelve times worse of the hurricanes of the 70s and 80s…

    Yes, yes your almost there, come on I know you can do it.

    … now this is interesting because I would say that the United States has not been honoring God very much, am I out on a limb here?

    Fuckit I give up.

  4. 4
    davidct

    A hurricane hitting SF would be impressive. An earthquake, not so much. All you have to do is to keep predicting one and eventually it happens. It has to be a hurricane to win the trifecta.

  5. 5
    thalwen

    Sickening. How messed up mentally do you have to be to refer to natural disasters that kill people and devastate lives as “good news?”

  6. 6
    Rowan vet-tech

    Because a city… built on/near quite active fault lines… experiencing an earth quake …. totally an act of God.

    I just inhaled, because I’m an organism that requires respiration to continue bodily function, and I’m alive and conscious. Was me deciding to inhale actually God deciding to make me decide to inhale or something? As if it wouldn’t happen naturally as long as I was alive and conscious?

  7. 7
    busterggi

    God is always irritated.

    Someone needs to get him some talcum powder.

  8. 8
    greg1466

    @Doug Little…you beat me to it!

  9. 9
    imrryr

    The two worst storms, material-wise, in the history of America has happened

    1 – If you’re going solely by the cost of damages, it’s meaningless to compare a storm that occurred today to one that occurred a hundred years ago if you don’t even bother adjusting for inflation.

    2 – The 1900 Galveston Hurricane killed somewhere between 8,000 – 12,000 people. You’d think that would be a bit more important than the value of the “material” destroyed.

    @rowanvt -

    I just inhaled, because I’m an organism that requires respiration to continue bodily function, and I’m alive and conscious. Was me deciding to inhale actually God deciding to make me decide to inhale or something? As if it wouldn’t happen naturally as long as I was alive and conscious?

    Duuuuuuuude…

  10. 10
    Jasper of Maine

    And Maine is going to get snowed on because God is mad at Maine too.

  11. 11
    composer99

    Saith Swanson:

    The United States of America is more pro-abortion than ever before, certainly is funding more abortions than ever before;

    Is that even true? Hasn’t there been an enormous effort by Christianists to indirectly abolish access to abortions through defunding & similar tactics?

    From the information I’ve seen, abortion rates are apparently higher than a few years ago, but the “more than ever before” is certainly false.

  12. 12
    baal

    When I read transcripts like that, I half expect them to launch into a discussion of how many virgins should be tossed into the volcano to appease the god.

    Also, is god falling for stereotypes? There are a number of other cities in the US where gays are concentrated.

  13. 13
    bradleybetts

    I love how they discuss it so seriously, as if they are genuinely discussing the most important political points of the day. It reads like satire, for christ sake, how can they even have this conversation with a straight face?!

  14. 14
    Michael Heath

    In terms of lives lost during natural events. We’re doing a far better job of defending ourselves against God’s wrath for a given amount of wreckage. Why are they avoiding that metric prior to determining a trend?

    In the early-2000s it became clear conservative Christians were sheepishly going to deny climate change because their political-religious social dominators told them to do so. I’ve since learned that authoritarians predominately increase their commitment to their false beliefs when exposed to convincing evidence which falsifies those beliefs. So it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to start predicting that the more we encounter extreme weather events, the more committed conservative Christians would come to blaming it on whichever group they happen to currently hate, which today happens to be gays and a particular black centrist Democrat.

  15. 15
    Tualha

    One wonders what the godly people of the middle ages were doing to bring on plague epidemics. Oh yeah, I know! They were avoiding hygiene so no one would accuse them of being secret Jews.

  16. 16
    TCC

    It would be way more impressive if God sent a hurricane to Minneapolis.

  17. 17
    Bronze Dog

    You know, people like this make me imagine god as a gangster, and I don’t mean the kind who try to maintain an appearance of civility, I mean the kind who’d spray a crowd of civilians with dual tommyguns just to get one guy.

    He runs protection rackets. Don’t give him what he’s due and “accidents” start to happen. It doesn’t stop at natural disasters, either. “What a nice little soul you’ve got there. It’d be a shame if something were to happen to it.”

    He’s also got a sense of entitlement. He gets angry whenever someone wants out of the business so they can lead an honest life. You quit the family, and they’ll keep trying to drag you back in. He allegedly did a favor for you while you were down, you’re eternally in his debt, and he always collects on his debts.

  18. 18
    iangould

    “Yeah, the shedding of innocent blood really irritates god —”

    For a given value o “innocent”.

    Not worshipping God, for example, or worshipping him the wrong way, means you’re guilty.

    As does being born in the wrong country or voting for the wrong political party.

  19. 19
    coragyps

    “The two worst storms, material-wise, in the history of America has happened in just the last five years…”

    Is that supposed to include Katrina? Does time work differently in Wacklandia?

  20. 20
    doubtthat

    What I’ve always loved about the gays-caused-Katrina bullshit was that the French Quarter was one of the least effected areas of the city. God sent an apocalyptic storm to New Orleans, and then magically spared the sinful, dirty part.

    Similarly, God sent Sandy to teach Chris Christie a lesson. Like any good romantic comedy, the disaster warmed his cold little heart and he fell in love with President Obama, leading to the downfall of his douchey ex, who Christie finally realized was no good for him.

    So, two nightmare storms. One spares the gays, the other insures the re-election of the guy that repealed DADT and moved to support marriage equality.

    If God is sending a message, I don’t think it’s being received.

  21. 21
    DaveL

    @Doug Little,

    Exactly my reaction. You have to wonder how wingnuts like this view the daily weather report:

    “Right now conditions are mostly saved, but there’s a new wrath system brewing over here due to this high sin area as a this spiritual warfare front moves through.”

  22. 22
    D. C. Sessions

    How do all of the tornadoes in Oklahoma, Kansas, Arkansas, Alabama, etc. fit into this story? Last I checked there were a lot more people killed by tornadoes than by hurricanes.

  23. 23
    D. C. Sessions

    OK, DaveL wins one Internet and a chance at our grand prize.

  24. 24
    mareap

    Nah Jasper, Minnesota is going to get the snowpocalypse, Maine will get a nor’easter.

  25. 25
    vmanis1

    According to Wikipedia, the Galveston hurricane of 1900 was the deadliest natural disaster in the history of the United States. (They cite a couple of references for this point.) So what, pray tell, was on God’s mind that caused him to be so upset with the inhabitants of the island?

  26. 26
    whheydt

    Since most of those guys tend to live on or near the East Coast and have a rather….parochial…view of what the West Coast is like…

    Hurricanes…depend on warm water to power them. Off San Francisco is the Japan Current, which is quite cold (it’s why there is a near-permanent fog bank just off shore) and the general ocean water temperature is pretty chilly. People who sail very small craft on the Bay often do so wearing wetsuits to deal with betting dunked in rather cold water.

    Earthquakes. Yeah…the Bay Area gets them. Pretty much everyone knows about the San Andreas Fault. What a lot of people *don’t* know is that the fault zone runs off shore west of San Francisco, and the epicenter of 1906 quake was well to north…west of Santa Rosa.

    Another thing most people outside the area (and fair number who live in the Bay Area) is that the San Andreas isn’t the fault to worry about in the relatively near future. The Hayward Fault–which runs along the front of the East Bay hills–last had a large quake in 1868, and has an estimated average recurrence period of 140 years…

    So the biggest chance of a natural disaster here is, M7 quake on the Hayward doing massive damage to…Oakland.

    And there’s a special little bonus for sports fans…the University of California at Berkeley’s Memorial Stadium sits *in* the Hayward fault zone.

  27. 27
    whheydt

    Re: vmanist1 @ #25…

    One is reminded of the story about the Althing in Iceland at which is was decided to become officially Christian. A nearby volcano erupted during the lengthy debate and one person claimed that it showed that the gods were angry at the Icelanders even debating the issue. Someone else pointed to an old (cold) lava flow and asked, “At what were the gods angry when that lava flowed?”

  28. 28
    Draken

    Abortion has been legal in the Netherlands since 1981. Same-sex marriage since 2001. Still waiting. Does the Lord have a priority queue perhaps?

  29. 29
    plutosdad

    wait, what? extreme weather is getting worse?

    How can that be when we sacrifice so much coal to appease our angry god?

    there couldn’t be any sort of change in the climate going on, that is just crazy!

  30. 30
    Adrian W.

    @ Draken:

    God is powerless against dikes.

  31. 31
    naturalcynic

    It seems like people just can’t imagine that God might be angry at Snookie, Pauley and the kids on the Jersey Shore instead of teh gehz.

  32. 32
    D. C. Sessions

    God is powerless against dikes.

    Nice pun.

  33. 33
    leonardschneider

    Hmmmm…. Using this rationale and knowing the demographics of New York and New Orleans, it’s not Teh Gayz. It’s obvious to me that God hates Catholics.

  34. 34
    cptdoom

    As a citizen of the District of Columbia, I take umbrage – that’s right, umbrage! – at the notion we are less pro-homosexual than New Orleans. We’ve had marriage equality since 2010 and domestic partnerships for a decade before that (and marriage equality would have come earlier if it hadn’t been for Congress’ power to overturn our laws). We are second only to San Francisco among major urban areas for our population percentage that is LGBT, nearly every city council member is extremely pro-gay and we even let Mary Cheney marry her girlfriend here (even though she was partly responsible for the anti-gay hate amendment in VA that prevents her from getting married where she lives). Hell, everyone knows that Congress is run by the queers (who else would work those ridiculous hours?). Where’s our hurricane, huh? We barely got grazed by Sandy.

  35. 35
    jefferylanam

    @doubtthat: What I’ve always loved about the gays-caused-Katrina bullshit was that the French Quarter was one of the least effected areas of the city. God sent an apocalyptic storm to New Orleans, and then magically spared the sinful, dirty part.
    Likewise with the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake; the Marina district, which had terrible fires, was largely straights, while the Castro, on solid bedrock, had minor damage. Outside the city, the closest town to the epicenter was Watsonville, inhabited largely by poor Catholic Latino farmworkers.

  36. 36
    fifthdentist

    So, what you’re saying is: the intensity of hurricanes is determined by the amount of icky buttsecks American homosexuals have?* And Bible-monster doesn’t care about any gay sex that occurs in Canada or Denmark or Israel or anywhere else, or if those countries have had legal same-sex marriage for years, just America? Well, as long as you’re being scientific. By all means write up a paper on this hurricane intensity hypothesis and submit it for peer review.

    * Seriously, this is like the kind of thinking that passed as “logic” in the Dark Ages

  37. 37
    katkinkate

    whheydt says: “And there’s a special little bonus for sports fans…the University of California at Berkeley’s Memorial Stadium sits *in* the Hayward fault zone.”

    That’s where they had to renovate the stadium into a 2 separate parts as one half sliding away from the other was wrecking the building.

  38. 38
    timgueguen

    Fifthdentist, on top of gay marriage, and having gotten rid of probitions agaisnt openly gay and lesbian people serving in the military way back in ’92, our Conservative government is too pro-gay from a US fundie standpoint. Even worse, it’s apparently not much of a secret that our Foreign Affairs minister, John Baird, is gay. Romney couldn’t even have a gay foreign policy advisor without getting in trouble.
    http://rfmcdpei.livejournal.com/3195449.html
    http://rfmcdpei.livejournal.com/3251031.html

  39. 39
    some bastard on the internet

    …am I out on a limb here?

    You’re on a completely different tree, dude.

  40. 40
    Ace of Sevens

    I seriously doubt that New Orleans is more liberal and gay-friendly than Seattle or Portland, which rarely have any sort of natural disaster.

  41. 41
    ciaphas

    Being a bit narrow with their disaster focus. Wasn’t Texas set on fire not long ago?

  42. 42
    dingojack

    some bastard on the net said:

    …am I out on a limb here?

    You’re on a completely different tree, dude.

    Fuck that – you sir, are in a different tree in a different galaxy far, far away…

    Dingo

  43. 43
    bastionofsass

    So God sent Hurricane/Superstorm Sandy to New York to punish the city for its pro-gayness, and thereby stopped Romney’s momentum, costing Romney the presidency.

    Poor Romney, yet another innocent victim of God’s vengeance against an area because the people who live there don’t all hate gays.

  44. 44
    slc1

    Re davidct @ #4

    A hurricane hitting San Diego would be impressive, a hurricane hitting San Francisco would be miraculous. The water temperatures off the US pacific coast are just too cold. Of course, it the oceans continue to heat up, hurricanes hitting the California coast may become a reality.

  45. 45
    slc1

    Re Ace of Sevens @ #40

    Not to mention parts of Los Angeles (West Hollywood anyone) and the Washington DC. area, especially the close in Virginia suburbs.

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