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Oct 19 2012

Dumbass Quote of the Day

Today’s dumbass quote of the day comes from quite possibly the biggest dumbass in Congress, even with the competition from Steve King, Allen West and Michele Bachmann, and that is Louis Gohmert of Texas. He participated in a conference call for Rick Scarborough’s 40 Days to Save America and unleashed this bit of stupid:

The truth is if you look at great nations, great civilizations, great powers throughout recorded history, when they’ve passed some of the milestones we have as a nation, that was the sign that they were toward the end of their existence…

There is so much that is so critical to whether or not this country continues, the greatest gift of a country to any people in history: more liberties, more individual freedoms and values, ease of living, quality and standard of living than even more than Solomon’s Israel. No explanation as to why we’ve been so blessed other than the people who went before us were blessed, they followed God’s rule book, in our founding they followed biblical teachings. We strayed away at different times, Andrew Jackson’s time was not a great time, at different times slavery was a blot on our existence, but the trouble is we have never as an entire nation overall been so far away from God’s teaching and so openly rebelling, even from the top, against God’s teachings in the Bible.

Yes, yes, yes. We had the garden of Eden in this country, delivered from Jesus himself when he delivered the King James Version of the Constitution to a praying George Washington on the banks of the Potomac. And we’d still have it, if it weren’t for those pesky liberal heathens!

34 comments

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  1. 1
    dan4

    “…we have never as an entire nation overall been so far away from God’s teaching and so openly rebelling, even from the top, against God’s teachings in the Bible.”

    Louis Gohmert, America hater.

  2. 2
    Kevin

    Which Biblical teachings? Precisely, please?

    Apparently not the teachings about keeping slaves, because he specifically says that was bad.

    Oh…you mean the Biblical teaching about establishing a representative democracy? Wait, no, the Bible doesn’t say anything about that.

    A bicameral legislature? Nope.

    Three co-equal branches of government? Nope.

    Limited terms of office for the leaders? Nope. Unless you count a 1,000 year reign by Jesus after he returns (and when exactly is that supposed to happen?).

    Right of trial by jury? To face one’s accusers in court? To be considered innocent until proven guilty? To not be subjected to cruel and unusual punishment? The right to freely speak your mind? Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.

    The right to worship any god you choose or none at all? Ha!!!

    Don’t murder? Well…that was in the Code of Hammurabi centuries before the bible was written. Don’t steal? Same thing. Adultery? Yep, it’s in there. And perjury, too.

    How about honoring your mother and father? Well…nice sentiment…but it’s not in the Constitution nor in any law. Nor any prohibition of coveting.

    Maybe these Christians have a different bible than I do. Or a different Constitution. Either way, there appears to be a mismatch of epic proportions.

  3. 3
    montanto

    Wow.

    And here I thought he topped himself with the “New Ottoman Empire” line.

  4. 4
    Reginald Selkirk

    The truth is if you look at great nations, great civilizations, great powers throughout recorded history, when they’ve passed some of the milestones we have as a nation, that was the sign that they were toward the end of their existence…

    Right on the money! Every single other nation to put a man on the moon ended shortly after that event.

  5. 5
    tbrandt

    Mythical America > Mythical Israel

    Also, who are the American David and Solomon? Surely not Bush Sr. and Jr.?

  6. 6
    TGAP Dad

    Oh, and the hits keep coming! Mr. “we’re sorry to have put the Gulf of Mexico around your leaky oil well” just has too much stupid for his bald, little head. I just hope he runs for governor, and keeps Texas’s streak alive. They deserve him.

  7. 7
    Kevin

    @5 Eisenhower and Reagan.

  8. 8
    coragyps

    I love that whole meme about “the Romans tolerated Teh Ghey and look how their civilization collapsed!1!”

    They never seem to notice that Nero and Caligula lived about four centuries before Attila the Hun…..

  9. 9
    Reginald Selkirk

    Kevin #2: Apparently not the teachings about keeping slaves, because he specifically says that was bad.

    You should never go full Jon Hubbard.

  10. 10
    Alverant

    #6 problem is that Texas problems wind up being America’s problems. For example the school textbooks Texas chooses often wind up being the only choice for the rest of the schools due to buying in bulk.

  11. 11
    Mr Ed

    I’ve read the bible and I can only conclude that there is a second book by a different author by the same name. You talk about biblical teachings but you act and behave about as differently as the Jesus described in the bible as possible. He healed the sick, opposed money changers, exalted the meek and blessed the peace givers. You oppose health care, worship the rich job creators, damn the poor and want to bomb any one who doesn’t march in lock step.

    I may be an atheist but you have strayed from biblical teachings.

  12. 12
    unbound

    Wasn’t the Roman Empire in existence for something like 12 centuries? It would seem that we should be worshiping Jupiter and the lesser gods. Anyone have some Roman religious texts handy so that we can learn the secret to their success?

    I mean, clearly, if the US is looking to not make it even 3 centuries, we are clearly worshiping the wrong diety…

  13. 13
    davem

    No explanation as to why we’ve been so blessed other than the people who went before us were blessed

    Wel, there’s the small matter of discovering and taking over an entire continent, while killing off the natives, and grabbing their land and resources for free. That might just explain it.

  14. 14
    dingojack

    Didn’t the Israelis worship this god. Weren’t they invaded by the Egyptians, Assyrians, Babylonians, Greeks, Romans, Arabs, Crusaders, French and English?
    Clearly America hasn’t been invaded enough for god to really commit to them as a country (that’s why is fairly consistently #10 in most world-wide metrics).
    Dingo

  15. 15
    matty1

    Wasn’t the Roman Empire in existence for something like 12 centuries? It would seem that we should be worshiping Jupiter and the lesser gods.

    Worse than that, the Roman Empire fell after becoming Christian, not before. Proof to at least as high a standard as Mr Gohmert uses that Christianity causes civilization to collapse.

  16. 16
    Modusoperandi

    Alverant “#6 problem is that Texas problems wind up being America’s problems. For example the school textbooks Texas chooses often wind up being the only choice for the rest of the schools due to buying in bulk.”
    Is that why the books have questions like “What do you reckon 2 + 2 equals?” or “2feet/sec or 3mph. Which is closer to a mosey?”

  17. 17
    dingojack

    Modus – 5; the former (1 and 4/11th miles per hour)
    :D Dingo

  18. 18
    laurentweppe

    And here I thought he topped himself with the “New Ottoman Empire” line.

    The funny thing is, the most famous Ottoman emperor was also a Solomon. The other funny thing is that 16th century’s Turks probably enjoyed more liberties and a better standard of living than 10th century BC israelites.

    ***

    Right on the money! Every single other nation to put a man on the moon ended shortly after that event.

    Ask the vikings

  19. 19
    davidhart

    “Yes, yes, yes. We had the garden of Eden in this country…”

    But we knew that already, thanks to Joseph Smith :-P

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_of_Eden#Jackson_County.2C_Missouri.2C_North_America

  20. 20
    Uncle Glenny

    Also, who are the American David and Solomon?

    Which makes me wonder, who are the American David and Jonathan?

    For example the school textbooks Texas chooses often wind up being the only choice for the rest of the schools due to buying in bulk.

    I’ve always thought that some of the more sensible states should band together to counteract this.

    I’ve long forgotten the details on this, and don’t follow the topic in detail, but I was once perusing a list of curriculum ratings for subjects state-by-state, and was surprised at some southeastern red state had one particularly high rating in one subject that stuck out like a sore thumb. Turned out they had copied from Massachusetts.

  21. 21
    Pierce R. Butler

    Funny – according to the Babble itself (archaeology has yet to find a coin, inscription, or other evidence that Solomon even existed), Israel at that general time was so badly ruled that it split in two, with Judah going its own way. The remaining Israelites also immediately rejected Solomon’s son and chose as king Jeroboam, a general who had plotted against Solomon and had to spend several years as a political refugee in Egypt.

  22. 22
    Donovan

    Oh noes! How do we know if our friends or family are liberals? What should we do if we find one?

  23. 23
    slc1

    That the same King Solomon who had hundreds of wives and concubines? That must have kept him pretty busy.

  24. 24
    busterggi

    “individual freedoms and values, ease of living, quality and standard of living than even more than Solomon’s Israel. ”

    Back when life expectancy was around 35, when there was no medical care to speak of, when slavery was the norm, when there was no running water, when plagues & famines were all the rage.

    Yessir, Mr. Gomert would love to bring the US back to those conditions.

  25. 25
    Markita Lynda—threadrupt

    Well, this kind of reasoning isn’t new. I noticed in the Bible, Solomon or Kings, that some people were ungodly and lived long and prosperous lives; so did their children. The authors had to wait until something bad happened in the grandchildren’s lives before they could crow, “See, God is gonna get ya!” God’s timing is even worse than his aim.

    P.S. in the next post, it should be “hit” bottom.

  26. 26
    jimmiraybob

    Wasn’t the Roman Empire in existence for something like 12 centuries? It would seem that we should be worshiping Jupiter and the lesser gods. Anyone have some Roman religious texts handy so that we can learn the secret to their success?

    Some of the early Popes were a little shaken and depressed that the State collapsed so shortly after making Christianity the state religion and closing down all competition. Could start there.

  27. 27
    Michael Heath

    Rep. Gohmert is effectively arguing that we were closer to God’s will for us when slavery was an institution than now given the fight for equal rights for women and LGBT’s. From a biblical perspective he’s dead-on.

  28. 28
    coragyps

    “Yessir, Mr. Gomert would love to bring the US back to those conditions.”

    Well, he is over there in East Texas. We make fun of them
    out here, and hell, we’re in West Texas.

  29. 29
    Tony! The Fucking Queer Shoop!

    No explanation as to why we’ve been so blessed other than the people who went before us were blessed, they followed God’s rule book, in our founding they followed biblical teachings.

    Someone hasn’t read up on the treatment of minorities in this country. I’m not certain many of them would say they’ve been ‘blessed’.

  30. 30
    iangould

    “No explanation as to why we’ve been so blessed other than the people who went before us were blessed, they followed God’s rule book, in our founding they followed biblical teachings.”

    Yeah God sure blessed Japan for following his Holy Word.

  31. 31
    iangould

    You know most wingut Christian speach makes a lot more sense if you assume that “Christianity” is code for “White anglophone heteresexual American cultural identity”.

  32. 32
    matthewhodson

    Some reasons the united states was “blessed”:
    1) Taking land that was relatively well managed by previous inhabitants and exploiting the vast flocks of birds and herds of animals for food and mineral resources for industry.
    2) A metric fuck tonne of arable land which until recently was some of the best farm lands in the world.
    3) Being one of the only nations to come out of WW2 with sovereignty, manufacturing and general economy intact.

    Nothing to do with a storm god here.

  33. 33
    typecaster

    Worse than that, the Roman Empire fell after becoming Christian, not before.

    Well, the Western Empire fell about a century and a half after converting to Christianity. The Eastern Empire kept going for another thousand years, under a slightly different version of Christianity. Maybe that’s our mistake – we aren’t Greek Orthodox.

    Funny – according to the Babble itself (archaeology has yet to find a coin, inscription, or other evidence that Solomon even existed), Israel at that general time was so badly ruled that it split in two, with Judah going its own way.

    That’s so, according to Torah. However, archaeology also hasn’t found any proof that Israel and Judah were ever a single country. For a great little summary of current archaeological findings, check out The Bible Unearthed, by Israel Finkelstein and Neil Asher Silberman.

  34. 34
    stace

    Well, we are displaying the decadence of Rome in one respect: Caligula installed one of his horses in the Senate, whereas the people of Texas voted a horse’s ass into the House of Representatives.

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