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Oct 12 2012

FRI: Lesbianism Causes Pancreatic Cancer!

The Family Research Institute may have reached a new low not only for bigotry but for stupidity by suggesting that Sally Ride’s death was linked to being a lesbian. Of course, they don’t come right out and say that, they’re just asking questions and drawing correlations:

Sally Ride, the first U.S. female astronaut, died this year at 61 of pancreatic cancer. Most women live until their 80s. Something strange afoot?

Ride was married to a fellow astronaut from 1982 to 1987. But it was just revealed she had a ‘long time lesbian relationship’ of 27 years. Do the math: her 27 year relationship with a professor of school psychology (and co-founder of Sally Ride’s company) means that she got into that relationship in 1985, smack in the middle of her marriage. It would appear that her childhood friend broke up her marriage.

And Sally may have paid with some of her lifespan. Our latest research into recent homosexual obituaries from San Francisco indicates that lesbians are dying on average around 60ish. Ride fits the pattern of lesbian deaths, but not that of married women’s deaths, which usually extend into the early-to-mid 80s.

Is this proof that homosexual activity leads to an early death? No, of course not. Had she stayed married, Sally Ride might have died at the same age and of the same malady. But, on average, her death fits a consistent pattern suggesting that homosexuality is associated with an early demise.

No, you dumbasses, it doesn’t fit any such pattern. You know what pattern it does fit? The one where people who get pancreatic cancer die earlier than people who don’t. Bigotry and stupidity get along very well.

26 comments

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  1. 1
    steve84

    They used the same method Paul Cameron used to determine that gay men had a drastically lowered life expectancy during the height of the AIDS crisis.

  2. 2
    Kevin, 友好火猫 (Friendly Fire Cat)

    Pancreatic cancer is a horrible, horrible disease. To use it for your own bigoted hatefulness is just… wrong.

  3. 3
    rowanvt

    Wonder what they would make of the fact that one of my Japanese language teachers died at 52 from pancreatic cancer. She was ethnic Japanese AND heterosexual so she should have lived to be like 90 according to them.

  4. 4
    Chiroptera

    Our latest research….

    Well, I guess they are the Family RESEARCH Institute. They must be legit!

  5. 5
    Abby Normal

    I look forward to a future where everyone has an above average lifespan.

  6. 6
    Reginald Selkirk

    For similar “logic” look to Pravda
    .
    Many UFO researchers die under mysterious circumstances

  7. 7
    kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith

    Our latest research into recent homosexual obituaries from San Francisco [...]

    If looking through obituaries qualifies as “research”, so does my most recent gazing into the toilet bowl which concludes that the “Family” “Research” “Institute” is full of shit.

  8. 8
    ImaginesABeach

    Assuming there were any evidence of shorter lifespans for women who love women, wouldn’t it be more reasonable to assume that the stress caused by bigots would cause or aggravate many health conditions? Or that there might be differences in health insurance coverage because many people cannot cover their partners on their employer subsidized insurance?

    And what the heck is a “homosexual obituary?” Would that be death records that are attracted to other death records instead of being attracted to birth records?

  9. 9
    Michael Heath

    steve84 writes:

    They used the same method Paul Cameron used to determine that gay men had a drastically lowered life expectancy during the height of the AIDS crisis.

    As best as I know Paul Cameron is FRI, he was its founder. Kirk Cameron is their vice chairman according to their Wikipedia page.

  10. 10
    ronsullivan

    Steve Jobs was a lesbian?

  11. 11
    Noadi

    Yep, totally because she was a lesbian and not because of sheer dumb (bad) luck due to genetics or increased radiation exposure from going to space.

  12. 12
    Sastra

    I wonder what mechanism is supposed to be causing early death in lesbians. At least when they point to AIDs they’re starting out with a particular physical cause which they can try to link to homosexuality in some way. But pancreatic cancer? Plus whatever other causes of death lurk in the lesbian “homosexual obituaries?” What would associate all these multiple medical issues to an “early demise?”

    Is it a … curse?

    It’s probably “sin.” With no other explanation for method, mechanism, or material. Just “sin.” Though I wouldn’t be surprised if the “negative life energy” hypothesis was gaining ground in the Family Research Institute. That sounds more science-y, something a Research Institute might say.

  13. 13
    Thorne

    What the hell? Alcoholics tend to die younger. Smokers tend to die younger. Battered wives tend to die younger. Are they suggesting that lesbianism should be banned to protect the women? Then they should be all for banning drinking, smoking and spousal abuse, right?

    Right???

  14. 14
    kantalope

    Silly correlationists. You are overlooking the most obvious conclusions — women in space get cancer, duh.

  15. 15
    baal

    When you’re not fond of science, I can imagine the whole ideas of causality or mechanism are right out.

  16. 16
    Curt Cameron

    What does their “research into recent homosexual obituaries from San Francisco” consist of? Are they just tabulating deaths listed in the newspaper’s obit section? Do they not understand sampling bias?

    By the way, as far as I know, and I hope, I’m not related to either Paul or Kirk.

  17. 17
    garnetstar

    Steve Jobs died of pancreatic cancer too, and he was only in his mid-fifties. So that must mean…..um, I’m not sure what it means, I don’t think he was a lesbian, but the FRC is certain to have a solid answer.

  18. 18
    Ichthyic

    It would appear that her childhood friend broke up her marriage.

    I’m so fucking tired of this.

    Have they NEVER considered that maybe, just maybe, it was her MARRIAGE that was the aberration? That this inane cultural pressure to be hetero-normative is the thing that caused her to even consider marriage in the first place?

    I can only speak from anecdote (3 of them, no less), but from watching friends, relatives, and even my own mother deal with this very issue, I can from personal experience at least conclude that there is a tremendous amount of societal pressure to marry hetero-normative, and that in all the cases I am familiar with where a gay or bi female divorced a hetero-marriage, each of these women in hindsight had concluded that the hetero-marriage was the thing that was abnormal.

    My mother was of the generation that thought it best to stay IN the marriage, even when it was obvious it was not in her personal best interests to do so, but she ended up becoming something of an alcoholic and dealing with a lot of depression.

  19. 19
    footface

    Not only are they vultures, but they’re also not especially well-versed in science or logic. So they’re dumb vultures, is what I’m saying.

    Ride fits the pattern of lesbian deaths, but not that of married women’s deaths….

    Is the suggestion that if Ride had remained married (to a man)—but was still a lesbian—that her cancer might have been prevented? Are they saying it’s homosexuality that causes cancer, or adultery, or divorced? Or…?

    I just want them to shut up.

  20. 20
    Ichthyic

    I just want them to shut up.

    +eleventy

  21. 21
    dobby

    Women who are openly lesbians are dying in their 60s (if their “research” has any value). It could be that older women are much less likely to be out. Sampling bias.

  22. 22
    dingojack

    Perhaps Steve Jobs was a lesbian trapped in a man’s body?
    Dingo

  23. 23
    cry4turtles

    Do SF obituaries declare sexual orientation? That’s kinda personal isn’t it?

  24. 24
    naturalcynic

    @24

    Do SF obituaries declare sexual orientation? That’s kinda personal isn’t it?

    They often make it obvious with such terms as first mentioning of “…is mourned by long-term partner …” before mentioning blood relatives.

  25. 25
    kermit.

    naturalsynic

    They often make it obvious with such terms as first mentioning of “…is mourned by long-term partner …” before mentioning blood relatives.

    Hmm. Wouldn’t women in their 60s be more likely to have surviving partners to mourn them?

    As well as – as has been pointed out – be more likely to be out than older folks. But the still younger ones are even more likely to be out, which brings the average down.

    And SF surely has a larger population of gays. Is it significantly larger? I dunno.

    I don’t think these folks are in the habit of thinking of ways in which they might be wrong…

  26. 26
    martinc

    icthyic @ 18:

    That this inane cultural pressure to be hetero-normative is the thing that caused her to even consider marriage in the first place?

    She may have faced a more direct pressure than that one too. NASA in its earlier years tended to hire astronauts who were as close to perceived social norms as possible, and I suspect Ride might have felt that adding the Homosexual In Space anchor to the Woman In Space anchor she already possessed might have been one anchor too many.

    It’s interesting that NASA’s policy might well have originally been implemented to prevent the agency being seen as the home of rootin’ tootin’ fighter jocks. So they hired married guys as astronauts. Unfortunately to a large extent this simply meant they got adulterous rootin’ tootin’ fighter jocks.

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