God About to Remove His Hand of Protection. Again.


As I’ve noted before, the wingnuts seem to be forever be doing two contradictory things: Telling us that God has “lifted his hand of protection” from America or is on the verge of doing so if we don’t do everything they demand (like punishing gay people more and sending them lots of money). Here’s Pat Robertson saying that it’s about to happen if we don’t pray:

I think that right now God has planted this nation, He has loved it, prospered it, blessed it beyond measure. We have enshrined deviant sex into our constitution, we have enshrined the infanticide of young babies into our constitution, we have ruled consistently that our children can’t pray and read the Bible in their schools, we have limited over and over again our expression of faith in God and God is saying ‘I’m going to take down the wall of protection around this nation’ unless something happens, and that’s why we’ve got to pray.

Is that right, Pat? God is saying that now? Funny, 11 years ago you said it had already happened in your infamous exchange with Jerry Falwell after 9/11.

Maybe God really is Hindu, with all those hands, and he’s only lifted one or two of them before and now he’s getting ready to lift a few more.

Comments

  1. Reginald Selkirk says

    Maybe God really is Hindu, with all those hands

    Or perhaps a squid, with ten tentacles.

  2. Randomfactor says

    He’s only removing his protective hand so as to free himself from his Panty-Twist-of-Righteousness-Induced Divine Wedgie.

  3. cry4turtles says

    These people should be locked up in the nutward (no offence to those who have been there).

  4. Janine: Hallucinating Liar says

    The big sky daddy’s hand of protection is as useful as his aim at those to be punished is accurate.

  5. busterggi says

    CDamned if you do, damned if you don’t.

    There is no winning with the fundie Christian god.

  6. says

    Or perhaps a squid, with ten tentacles.

    Don’t let PZ Myers hear you compared god to a cephalopod. He may well have an embolism.

  7. says

    I’m quite ignorant of the Hindu religion, but if I recall correctly, Shiva has 6 or more hands and is the god of destruction. Given that the Bible describes its god as a genocidal maniac who loves to command his followers to destroy nations down to their children and even stealable commodities like livestock, I see plenty of reason to suspect they might be the same entity. Anyone ever seen the two together at the same time?

  8. baal says

    God puts His hand in.
    God puts His hand out.
    He does the hokey-pokey.
    And turns Himself about.

    Note to the xtians – never use the hand of god argument, it makes your deity look like a total jackass.

  9. Michael Heath says

    Bronze Dog writes:

    Anyone ever seen the two [Shiva and Yahweh] together at the same time?

    Hey! Kids might be lurking and we don’t want to give them any dangerous ideas! Like using reason and evidence to determine what’s true or not true.

  10. dingojack says

    “We have enshrined deviant sex into our constitution, we have enshrined the infanticide of young babies into our constitution…”
    Are these amendments no one but you are aware of Jerry?

    Vis a vis the hands o’ god see this Kraftwerk tribute from Bill Bailey.
    Dingo

  11. says

    Aren’t we also being constantly told America, Fuck Yeah? How are we the best country in the world that God is about lift his favor from except that He already has?

  12. Janine: Hallucinating Liar says

    Please, grumpyoldfart, let us know what country you are from so that the rest of us can laugh at you with cheap generalizations.

    As someone from the US, I am scared that this is taken seriously by a segment of the population. And people from the US are hardly alone in believing such stupid shit.

  13. says

    Well, if it’s the hand of Jesus, it has a big hole in it, which is probably why bad things still manage to happen, unless he moves it to shift the hole away from the bad things.

  14. dingojack says

    Janine: Hallucinating Liar – “And people from the US are hardly alone in believing such stupid shit“.
    Citations please.
    Dingo

  15. Reginald Selkirk says

    The hand goes up, the hand goes down.
    The hand goes up, the hand goes down.
    It’s almost like God is fucking with us. Or without us.

  16. Sastra says

    Apparently God isn’t very interested in individuals. He judges huge groups of disparate people as if they were all one monolithic undifferentiated block — and He puts them into simple categories of Good or Evil. The image I get from Robertson is that of a teacher telling the class that if “it” doesn’t quiet down, then “it” won’t go to recess. The meek and obedient kids get lumped in with the unruly because the teacher doesn’t have time, patience, or interest in separating rewards and punishment according to individual merit. No, you lose your identity in the group you belong to.

    I wonder if losing your identity to a group is something these religious people value a lot, given that they seem to feel that of course God would expect this.

  17. Randomfactor says

    Maybe he just got tired of keeping up a two-century-plus hand job with no happy ending.

  18. TGAP Dad says

    If this is the same god who allowed Katrina/New Orleans, 9/11, Pearl Harbor, AIDS, disco, Blu-ray discs, Justin Bieber, Paris Hilton, Ronald Reagan, and Microsoft, then I say we don’t wait for him to remove his hand, but fire him now!

  19. grumpyoldfart says

    #15 Janine: Hallucinating Liar says

    Please, grumpyoldfart, let us know what country you are from so that the rest of us can laugh at you with cheap generalizations.

    No way lady. You just sit there and cop it sweet.

  20. Hercules Grytpype-Thynne says

    @Reginald Selkirk:

    If squid have tentacles, do octopuses have eightacles?

  21. footface says

    Even the people who say they know god say he’s a petty, bitter little man.

    He created the entire universe, he created space and time, he created life, he directs all things and everything that happens is a part of his plan. But if you don’t thank him enough…

  22. says

    “Well, if it’s the hand of Jesus, it has a big hole in it, which is probably why bad things still manage to happen”

    Well, back when your average mobile phone was the size of loaf of Wonderbread and most cameras had rolls of film in them* (the exceptions being modern view cameras, some antique Kodaks and the like and polaroid models) I used to do some darkroom work and had to “burn and dodge” in order to vary the exposure in some images. It was a time consuming and often frustrating process, too many times I wasted a lot of paper to get a print–so, I know just how growedup 900′ BABY JESUS with the frikkin’ lazerbeam eyes feels when he misses N’awlins and hits Tampa, during the GOP Con-vention, instead.

    * Honest, I can prove it!

  23. says

    @Reginald Selkirk –

    The hand goes up, the hand goes down.
    The hand goes up, the hand goes down.

    Never a miscommunication! YOU CAN’T EXPLAIN THAT!!!!

  24. tbp1 says

    Why has anyone, anyone at all, ever paid any attention to anything Pat Robertson says about anything?

    Honestly, I just don’t understand it. He’s so obviously both insane and evil.

  25. Childermass says

    You call that a wingnut believing in two contrary things?

    Now THIS is a wingnut believing in two contrary things? Namely, abortion is murder and that parents should be able to take their misbehaving kids to court so they can be killed.

  26. No Light says

    Childermass – Wow. This Chuckles Fuquit guy could not be a better example of pro-liar cognitive dissonance.

    child who disrespects his parents must be permanently removed from society in a way that gives an example to all other children of the importance of respect for parents. The death penalty for rebellious children is not something to be taken lightly. The guidelines for administering the death penalty to rebellious children are given in Deut 21:18-21:

    Wow. I fear for my American friends, because y’all seem to be infested with these disgusting Wingnuttia republicanus creatures.

    Abortion? Bad! Liberals? Bad! Muslims? The Anti-Christ. Killing children who talk back to you? Awesome! Deep-fried Amazeballs with a creamy Jesusy filling.

    I suppose, seeing as he believes foetuses are babies, that women could claim that their uterine lodgers were being unruly and disrespectful, and petition to have them executed?

  27. dingojack says

    dmcclean – actually dictionary.com suggests it can be used transitively, but it’s either archaic or very uncommon.
    It has:
    “Prosper … [used with an object]
    (archaic) To make successful or fortunate”.

    Dingo
    —–
    Also, I suppose:
    ‘First I wrote the routine in Forth, then I PROSPERed it’. ;)

  28. birgerjohansson says

    Um, you are welcome to laugh at Sweden if someone here (with a big following) says something equally stupid.

    But we exported most of our baptists to ‘Merka a century ago, so I suppose we have contributed to your problems.
    (And the non-religious migrants came up with novel uses for wood chippers)
    — — — — — — — —
    Republican gods -What’s the name of that giant Hindu deity that tramples everything?
    Moderate Republicans: Babar, the Elephant god.*

    *not Ganesha, he just hangs out in the Ganges valley and eats lotus flowers, like some hippy.

  29. says

    @34:

    From your link:

    “Both are cocksuckers when it comes to pandering to religion.”

    re: Romney’s and Obama’s sycophancy to the KKKristian Reich, I presume.

    Firstly: Your entire post was a short paragraph and could easily have been cut’n’pasted. That would have meant that people could read it, here, instead of going over and giving you bloghits. I won’t get suckered into doing so, again. You’re blogwhoring.

    Secondly: You’re completely full of shit. Obama’s “pandering” to religion? Show your work. The dems are generally (at least publically) tolerant of religions. The GOPeabrains are loudly and, as a matter of platform policy, stridently intolerant. There is NO FUCKING EQUIVALENCE.

  30. dingojack says

    Well shripathikamath, I’m just so glad you shared your meticulously researched, well thought-out and insightful analysis with us. [/sarcasm]
    Shame about the complete lack of evidence.

    Evidence is kinda like charm & charisma, either you’ve got it or you’re you.

    Dingo

  31. Childermass says

    No light @ 32:

    I suppose, seeing as he believes foetuses are babies, that women could claim that their uterine lodgers were being unruly and disrespectful, and petition to have them executed?

    Considering the method of execution is stoning by the men of the community, this would either kill mom or severely injure her.

    Oh wait, are moms people?

  32. blf says

    Oh wait, are moms people?

    They are cootie-infested, so no, they are not.

    And they won’t let me have any more cookies, so they are horrible slime monsters as well. The ultimate evil is that make me take a bath and go to skol.

  33. cptdoom says

    We have enshrined deviant sex into our constitution, we have enshrined the infanticide of young babies into our constitution

    Actually, no, but we did enshrine heresy and blasphemy into our Constitution, with the very First Amendement. Ironically, that seems to be working out very well for Mr. Robertson, as his brand of religious perversion would never have been allowed to fester as it has without that Amendment.

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