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Oct 04 2012

Beck: Romney Election Will Be a Miracle

Those who think prayer works and that God controls everything often must tie themselves into all kinds of knots when trying to explain away an unpleasant reality, offering a whole range of ad hoc excuses and rationalizations. Glenn Beck is now trying to figure out why God would let Romney fall so far behind in the presidential race when, obviously, he wants Romney to win. And rather than just accepting that most voters just don’t agree with him, he declares that God is letting it look good for Obama so that everyone will know it’s a miracle when Romney wins:

So if Romney doesn’t win, what will that mean? I think it means that more people voted for Obama. Glenn Beck will have to invent some crazy rationalization for it.

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  1. 1
    Gregory in Seattle

    It would make more sense if he would just admit that, sometimes, the Invisible Pink Unicorn (pbuhh) just doesn’t grant us our wishes.

  2. 2
    Dunc

    So, how’s that supposed to work, exactly? Does God stuff the ballot boxes, does he fiddle the count, or does he use people as puppets? Isn’t there supposed to be some kind of “free will” deal that stops him from directly manipulating people’s behaviour?

  3. 3
    Michael Heath

    Glenn Beck seems to be arguing the polls are right. Heh.

    That presents a conundrum to those conservatives arguing the polls are wrong, that Romney is actually ahead. By advocating such now and if Romney actually wins, for consistency’s sake they’ve disqualified themselves from asserting that God miraculously came through with a Romney win. Nah, we can expect many of those arguing the polls are wrong to argue it was a miracle if Romney won.

  4. 4
    matty1

    Silly Dunc, the free will excuse only applies when the question is why God allows people to do bad stuff. When they do ‘good’ stuff it is fine to assume they were meat puppets.

  5. 5
    tsig

    God’ll just stuff the ballot boxes. Well, maybe tweak a few digits in a counter circuit anyway.

    Or Republicon minions will do gods’ work for him?

  6. 6
    M can help you with that.

    Dunc @ 2 –

    All Gawd has to do is alter the official vote counts on the computers that tabulate electronic votes. There are enough places where there’s no paper trail or ability to check for errors that the divine tampering will be.

  7. 7
    Taz

    There are a multitude of reasons why I would hate a Romney victory, but the thought of people like Beck weeping with joy at the “wondrous miracle” just went to the top of my list.

  8. 8
    Markita Lynda—threadrupt

    Let’s hope “God” doesn’t have access to any Republican-controlled vote-counting systems.

    Meanwhile, by their logic haven’t those windbags already proven that God wanted President Obama to win, since he did?

  9. 9
    Phillip IV

    he declares that God is letting it look good for Obama so that everyone will know it’s a miracle when Romney wins

    So God lowers expectations to make his miracles look better? That’s pretty cheap for an omnipotent being. It’s like the old guy isn’t even really trying anymore.

  10. 10
    cheesynougats

    “If it happens, it’s [God's] finger.”

    Did anyone else hear that as “If Romney wins, God is flipping us off?”

  11. 11
    Skip White

    So God may have to engage in voter fraud?

  12. 12
    d.c.wilson

    God better have photo ID!

  13. 13
    kermit.

    matty1: Silly Dunc, the free will excuse only applies when the question is why God allows people to do bad stuff. When they do ‘good’ stuff it is fine to assume they were meat puppets.

    Indeed. I was explicitly taught as a (Southern Baptist) child that if I screwed up it was my fault, but if i did well, it was Jesus! and I was an ungrateful wretch if I didn’t acknowledge it. Over and over.

  14. 14
    dmcclean

    @8:

    Meanwhile, by their logic haven’t those windbags already proven that God wanted President Obama to win, since he did?

    Pay attention in class. That was obviously because he was “visiting his judgement upon us” for suffering gays (and witches!) to live.

  15. 15
    danl.

    So if Romney doesn’t win, what will that mean?

    Obviously, it will mean God has decided to punish us with more Obama because of, um…abortion? Gay marriage? Evilution?

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