With all the wingnuts out there praying incessantly to God, asking him to make sure Barack Obama doesn’t win reelection in November, it’s almost refreshing to hear one wingnut say that God could do the opposite and make sure he wins — because it’s his judgment on us for everything that wingnut despises.
Jan Markell, founder and director of Olive Tree Ministries, says the Democratic Party is “corrupt” and morally “bankrupt.”
“I find it difficult to believe honestly that God would reward a political party that not only denies Him three times, but also just so seriously turns their back on Israel,” she offers. “So, this party is a corrupt, bankrupt party.”
With that in mind, Markell suggests an Obama victory means only one thing.
“If God rewards them with a victory, then I have to believe it’s a further judgment on us, because I can’t imagine God being on the side of this kind of darkness,” she says. “I just can’t!”
Or — and I know, this is a crazy thought — maybe Obama will get reelected because more people voted for him than for the other guy. But just to be safe, I’m going to declare that if Romney wins it will be because the angry leprechaun in my basement hates me so much.
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danielkast
September 17, 2012 at 12:14 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Granted, most of the wingnuts’ arguments stem from ignorance, but it’s refreshing to see one put so plainly.
Chiroptera
September 17, 2012 at 12:19 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
…one wingnut say that God could do the opposite and make sure he wins — because it’s his judgment on us….
Heh. I’ve always enjoyed these “heads I win, tails you lose” arguments.
If my candidate wins, then he or she is God’s preferred candidate. If my candidate loses, then it’s because God wants to judge us.
Me, I said in the aftermath of Bush’s victories in 2000 and 2004: I may not believe in God, but I’m almost convince that the devil exists and he hates humanity.
abb3w
September 17, 2012 at 12:22 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
You obviously need to get a couple cases of Bushmills and store them in your basement, Ed.
busterggi
September 17, 2012 at 12:23 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
For eight years I listened to these theocrazies tell me that it was god’s will for Dubya to be POTUS yet not one would say the same for Obama during the past four years.
raven
September 17, 2012 at 12:24 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It’s really Jan Markell’s and the fundie’s fault.
They nominated a heretic from a Fake Xian sect. Romney is a Mormon, widely regarded by xians as nonxians.
Ryan is a Catholic for Cthulhu’s sake, the Fake Church the Protestants once fought a bloody war against.
Although it’s been obvious for a long time that god hates fundies. He’s always sending tornadoes and hurricanes into their heartland of the south central USA.
dingojack
September 17, 2012 at 12:28 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Could it be that god will let Obama win because the GOP has turned their back on him by embracing* the wingnut’s position?
Nah that couldn’t be it.
;) Dingo
—–
* well it’s a little more ‘like dropping their trousers, bending over and gripping their ankles tightly while thinking of Palin.
matty1
September 17, 2012 at 12:33 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
See it’s accurate if you edit it right.
Subtract Hominem
September 17, 2012 at 12:33 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It looks like Markell’s god is just as racist as she is.
hexidecima
September 17, 2012 at 12:34 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“this kind of darkness” eh? Yeesh. always nice to see that “good Christians” ignore their very own bible and what it says about the leaders in the world and how they are *put there expressedly* by their god. If Obama wins, then per the bible, God wanted him in power to be obeyed without question. Poor Chrisitans, just can’t stomach that part of their bible when it’s inconvenient for them.
Chiroptera
September 17, 2012 at 12:36 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I remember when, on another forum, one of the conservative regulars commented on Obama’s 2008 victory by saying that it was clear the American people weren’t ready to try to face the nation’s problems.
One of the other regulars asked whether the American people were ready to face their problems in 2000 and 2004, and if so why did they change.
I don’t recall that there was an answer.
Michael Heath
September 17, 2012 at 12:40 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Re the, this kind of darkness, and it’s obvious racial undertones . . .
Maureen Dowd’s taking some heat for this past weekend’s column where she used the term slithering to denigrate neocons, which is being leveraged by necons to claim this is an anti-semitic remark.
Marcus Ranum
September 17, 2012 at 12:44 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Dumb religiots. If it’s “god’s will” that any of this happen, then they should just stop struggling and lie down and die. After all, if god doesn’t want them to, he’ll stop it from happening.
coragyps
September 17, 2012 at 12:49 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“slithering to denigrate neocons, which is being leveraged by necons to claim this is an anti-semitic remark.”
W?T?F???
Things that slither appear to me to be a subset of Levitical things “that go upon their belly” and aren’t even kosher! How in hell would antisemitism even get into that mix?
Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)
September 17, 2012 at 12:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ah, yes, that God… He’s such a muddy funster. When you’re expecting him to give you teh win just because you scream his name louder than anyone else, sometimes he’ll go and do the opposite just to teach you a lesson. And on other days it just rains. That God, sometimes He works in such mysterious ways you wonder why anyone would bother praying or worshiping Him…
d cwilson
September 17, 2012 at 1:06 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ridiculous! Clearly, it’s a reference to House Slytherin and proof that the republicans are in league with Voldemort.
Modusoperandi
September 17, 2012 at 1:07 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
raven “They nominated a heretic from a Fake Xian sect. Romney is a Mormon, widely regarded by xians as nonxians. Ryan is a Catholic for Cthulhu’s sake, the Fake Church the Protestants once fought a bloody war against.”
Yes, but the Democrats nominated two Democrats!
Michael Heath “Maureen Dowd’s taking some heat for this past weekend’s column where she used the term slithering to denigrate neocons, which is being leveraged by necons to claim this is an anti-semitic remark.”
If she wanted to make them look bad, why didn’t she just mention everything they’ve done?
If anything, saying they slither makes them look better.
raven
September 17, 2012 at 1:20 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Hexidecima at 9 has it right.
According to the xians magic book, the rulers are put in place by god. So you have to obey them otherwise you are rebelling against god. And will end up in hell being tortured forever.
This same chapter also says to pay your taxes.
Markell is just a cafeteria xian like them all. Picking and choosing whatever they want.
Matrim
September 17, 2012 at 1:34 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
One thing I never understood were biblical literalists who bitch and moan about stuff the government does and who gets elected, etc. According to Romans Ch 13, all earthly government (in fact, all authority) is ordained by god, and to oppose those authorities is to oppose god himself. So either they don’t believe in the bible, or they oppose god.
These people would have a lot easier time of things if they didn’t have to keep contending with the millennia old book of innanities that aren’t pertinent to modern day life.
savagemutt
September 17, 2012 at 2:11 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
So, does this mean that god screws with people’s freewill to make them vote his way, or does he just rig the voting machines?
naturalcynic
September 17, 2012 at 2:45 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@ raven:
Interpretation failure. Obama was put in power in order to bring about chaos and destruction as punishment for killing baybeez, conspicuous girl-on-girl porn, guys kissing, not nuking Iran and so on. Just one of those plague things that always happens when Christians aren’t righteous enough. We just have to suffer until we can establish a truly righteous domionist paradise.
John Hinkle
September 17, 2012 at 2:45 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The Democrats come in, the Republicans go out. You can’t explain that.
The Republicans come in, the Democrats go out. You can’t explain that.
Or maybe you can, using the Universal Explanation: god did it.
Childermass
September 17, 2012 at 5:28 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
They sound like stereotypical Muslims: Shit happens because God wills it.
Christoph Burschka
September 17, 2012 at 9:57 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I love this logic.
He should by all means abstain from voting. Voting is an arrogant act of meddling in the fate God has devised. All true conservatives should stay home and pray instead while the godless liberals get on with their evil “democracy” stuff.
iangould
September 18, 2012 at 3:55 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
And since “All things are possible in Christ” there’s no need for any Republicans to actually go vote. If it’s God’s Will that Romney wins, he’ll just work a miracle to make it happen.