The Message of Hurricane Isaac, Decoded


For the second straight election, a hurricane has disrupted the start of the Republican National Convention. Given that a sizable percentage of the GOP’s base believes that weather disasters are sent by God as punishment, I was greatly anticipating the wingnut pronouncements of what this event means. Question answered.

Could Hurricane Isaac’s disrupting of the Republican convention here be tied to recent policy decisions by the GOP leadership and Barack Obama?

That question is being raised by Bible prophecy expert William Koenig, whose book, “Eye to Eye: Facing the Consequences of Dividing Israel,” links catastrophic hurricanes hitting the U.S. with changes in policy toward Israel.

Koenig points out that on Tuesday, the day Isaac formed as a tropical storm, the Republican platform committee voted to add a “two-state” position pertaining to Israel for formal convention approval. Earlier, a pastor on the Republican platform committee offered an amendment for a one-state solution to the dispute between Israel and the Palestinian Arabs with no land concessions by the Jewish state…

“This is the second straight Republican convention postponed due to a major hurricane,” points out Koenig. “And this is the third straight Republican convention that became secondary news due to a hurricane. Bush was pressuring Israel during the times of the 2004 and 2008 conventions.”

Koenig links all three convention disruptions to platform committee decisions to support further division of the land of Israel to pave the way for the creation of a Palestinian state.

Come on, you don’t think it’s a coincidence that this storm is named Isaac, do you? Isaac was the son that Abraham dutifully agreed to sacrifice to God (until God said “psyche!”). Now God is demanding the sacrifice of the first day of the RNC. How clear does it have to be, people?

Comments

  1. d cwilson says

    Utterly ridiculous. Clearly, God is pissed that we have a Kenyan Muslim in the White House. The fact that he’s hurting the opposition party is just due to his notoriously shitty aim.

  2. imrryr says

    Come on, you don’t think it’s a coincidence that this storm is named Isaac, do you? Isaac was the son that Abraham dutifully agreed to sacrifice to God (until God said “psyche!”). Now God is demanding the sacrifice of the first day of the RNC. How clear does it have to be, people?

    Sweet, the folks at the RNC can combine their appeasement of God’s wrath with a magic show. See Michele Bachmann sawed in half before your very eyes! That should really bring in the crowds.

  3. Chiroptera says

    If God were angry at the Republicans, couldn’t he make it hurricane only over the Convention Center or something?

  4. tulle says

    Last I checked, which was admittingly a bit after 8am EDT, Isaac was still not a hurricane (close but still not there, only 4 more mph to go).

  5. Doug Little says

    Bible prophecy expert

    This cheapens the word expert beyond recognition.

    Kindly replace the word expert with loony in future correspondence.

  6. raven says

    That question is being raised by Bible prophecy expert William Koenig,..

    A bible prophecy expert?

    That is a like a UFO expert. Or Bigfoot expert. Or Fairies and Brownies expert.

    I know as much as Koenig about bible prophecy. So does my cat.

  7. tbp1 says

    You know, when my father punished me when I was a kid, he told me exactly what he was punishing me for, and exactly what the punishment would consist of. He wasn’t perfect, and he made some mistakes, but he was a good guy, and so by and large the punishment would fit the crime. He was certainly never cruel or arbitrary.

    You know what he didn’t do? He didn’t punish a random group of strangers who had nothing to do with whatever my transgression was, in total anonymity, without bothering to announce what the punishment was for. He also didn’t disguise punishment as things that happen all the time and could be attributed to natural causes, like storms, or earthquakes. He didn’t claim to be omnipotent or omniscient, but he dealt with my occasional misbehavior in a reasonable, rational, pretty consistent way that didn’t leave any room for doubt as to what had happened or why. Why can’t the supposedly all-powerful creator of the universe do as well as my very human father?

    Seriously, how can any adult with a double-digit IQ believe this? I don’t get it. I really, really don’t get it.

  8. azportsider says

    My decoder ring gave me a completely different message: “Entrust your country to people who are so fucking stupid that they scheduled their national convention in Florida during the height of hurricane season.”

  9. Randomfactor says

    So the RNC circumcized their convention? That’s gonna put a crimp in the after-hours celebrating.

  10. says

    Oh, please. Everybody knows that Obama really hi-jacked the weather service as another of his nefarious schemes.

    Earlier, a pastor on the Republican platform committee offered an amendment for a one-state solution to the dispute between Israel and the Palestinian Arabs with no land concessions by the Jewish state…

    “I vote that we put ‘permanent warfare with no hope for peace until one side is strong enough, and has the will to, commit genocide against the other’ on our platform. Beside, this Bantustans idea is keeping good land out of the hands of Israeli settlers.”

    Doug Little “This cheapens the word expert beyond recognition. Kindly replace the word expert with loony in future correspondence.”
    “Biblical prophecy loony in future correspondence”?

  11. Sastra says

    tbp1 #8 wrote:

    Seriously, how can any adult with a double-digit IQ believe this? I don’t get it. I really, really don’t get it.

    Deep down, I think they all believe in ESP.

    It always looks like there’s supposed to be some sort of mind-connection between humans and God which either eliminates or mitigates what would otherwise be obscure. Either only the ‘good’ people have it — or everyone has it and the “bad” people ignore it.

    I mean, if your dad mumbled his instructions, disguised his punishments, and tried to make his intentions as vague and ambiguous as possible, you would have rightfully complained “hey, what am I supposed to be? A mind reader?”

    Ask that of God regarding His ‘messages’ sent by hurricane and apparently His response is “Yes. You are.”

  12. Hercules Grytpype-Thynne says

    Isaac (Yitzhak) is Hebrew for “he laughs”. I think that’s the message God is sending to the GOP: he laughs at them.

    Prove me wrong.

  13. betheves says

    Huh, I had heard that the hurricane was being sent to keep Joe Biden away. Because the convention is still going on but Biden didn’t come to Florida.

    Pretty funny, Someone with a horrible track record of hitting targets endangers tons of people just to keep Biden away from Florida.

  14. anteprepro says

    I think the message clear: Whenever something bad happens, whether it is to a left-winger or a right-winger, it is because God wants them to be more right-wing.

  15. d cwilson says

    Seriously, how can any adult with a double-digit IQ believe this? I don’t get it. I really, really don’t get it.

    Human need to feel that somebody is in control. Even if that somebody evil or incompetent. The idea that everything is just random scares the shit out of most people.

  16. bobaho says

    How clear does it have to be, people?

    Not clear enough for Pat to get the message. No, not that Pat, This Pat.

  17. says

    They need to claim it’s god, otherwise they might need to admit that more frequent and intensified hurricanes are a predicted effect of global climate change.

  18. Didaktylos says

    No I think that the Big Guy Upstairs is calling for the sacrifice of all the first-born legitimate sons of GOP members …

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