You may remember me writing about Avi Lipkin, who has concocted the mother of all Obama conspiracy theories, one that combines every crazy wingnut fantasy about the president into one big mishmash of bullshit. He was on an American Family Association radio show telling them that Obama is trying to crash the world economy and import tens of millions of Muslims, who will live on land seized by the UN under their Agenda 21 authority (which doesn’t exist).
What you have today is close to ten percent of the population is Muslim. You have 307 million Americans, you have 9 million Shiite Iranians who fled from Iran after 1979 when the Shah fell—these were allies of the U.S. if they had not fled they would have been killed by Khomeini—7 million Arabs, about 16 million between the Shiites and the Sunnis, four million Farrakhan Nation of Islam, that’s 20 million. I can tell you with all authenticity because I’ve been collecting this information all around the country that there are charter jets bringing Muslims into this country every day for free, at the expense of the U.S. taxpayer of course, people in Washington are bribed, the floodgates are open and they’re bringing in Muslims from Somalis, Palestinians, Bosnians, Algerians, Egyptians. Nobody even has a clue to exactly how many, I predict there are between 20 to 30 million Muslims in America and this fact is not lost on the election campaign in November…
What happens after they come here is that they marry Christian women, Jewish and Christian American women and then these women become baby factories for Islam because it’s the religion of the father. So if a Muslim father marries a Christian or Jewish mother the children are going to be Muslim. Then they get passports because they married an American woman and once they get passports they bring in their families from the Middle East. So what we’ve seen happening is not one university but we’ve seen hundreds of universities doing this and that’s one of the reasons why I’m saying this is very stealth like, it’s very insidious. Nobody sees it happening but you have a process paid with oil money to bring in millions of Muslims into this country very quietly with student visas and other things but eventually its family reunification. I’ve been following this for the last thirty years and most Americans can’t believe anything I’m saying but I’m on the cutting edge of this.
Muslims are actually about 1% of the population; the other 20 million or so exist only in Lipkin’s head, where there is, obviously, plenty of room. Oh, and the Illuminati is behind all of this. And they’re commanding him to invade Iran:
I’m predicting that the globalist one world government insists on getting that oil and to do that you have to overthrow the regime. The problem is not the nuclear threat, the problem is the regime. Fourthly, I think Obama’s a Muslim, he’s a Sunni Muslim on orders from Saudi and the Saudis are afraid to get their heads chopped off by the Shiite Iranians, therefore the Saudis are commanding Obama to terminate the Shiite regime. All of this is in my teachings. So the four reasons for war with Iran, the nuclear threat and democracy are the least of the reasons…
I think what we’ve been seeing over the last few decades is that America has been having its leaders chosen, Democrat or Republican, chosen by the one world government, the Masons, the Illuminati, the Trilateral Commission, whatever you want to call these people, these are people who control the world. Unfortunately, Jesus Christ is not important to them, what’s important to them is oil and money. Christianity and Judaism can be sacrificed relatively speaking as long as they have oil and the cash and the Muslims have that, but it’s the Sunnis who have it and the Shiites who are trying to bring it all down. So the Shiites and the Sunnis are working at cross-purposes and what we see here is an alliance between the Sunni Muslims, the Christians and Israel against Shiite Iran.
Well okey dokey.
45 comments
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Marcus Ranum
August 27, 2012 at 9:17 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
What happens after they come here is that they marry Christian women, Jewish and Christian American women and then these women become baby factories for Islam because it’s the religion of the father.
Better start teaching atheism in schools, huh!?
richardelguru
August 27, 2012 at 9:22 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“Somalis, Palestinians, Bosnians, Algerians, Egyptians … the Masons, the Illuminati, the Trilateral Commission…”
Did he leave anyone out??
Raging Bee
August 27, 2012 at 9:22 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
He was on an American Family Association radio show telling them that Obama is trying to crash the world economy…
…using the same time-machine he used/will use to plant/have planted that fake birth certificate back in 1961. That’s how Obama the Antichrist cleverly makes it LOOK like the crash started under Bush Jr’s watch. It all makes sense if you squint at it right.
Ever wonder why they all tell you not to look through the wrong end of a telescope? It’s because of what they don’t want you to see! Can’t prove me wrong, can you?
Larry
August 27, 2012 at 9:24 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
That’ll do, Lipkin. That’ll do.
Raging Bee
August 27, 2012 at 9:24 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
What happens after they come here is that they marry Christian women, Jewish and Christian American women and then these women become baby factories for Islam because it’s the religion of the father.
Well, if the Christian Reich didn’t oppose birth control, that wouldn’t be such a huge problem, would it?
Marcus Ranum
August 27, 2012 at 9:31 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Well, if the Christian Reich didn’t oppose birth control, that wouldn’t be such a huge problem, would it?
If any of their prayer in schools initiatives work, they’re really going to hate it when their kids have to sit and listen to the imam reading from the koran. Time to start teaching atheism!
Although the guy appears to think islam is carried in the genome or something… It sort of is, but, well, those christian nationalists better get cracking on thinking of how to protect apostates.
I love the moment of incipient own-goal, when the poor guy realizes that he just kicked the ball the wrong direction.
matty1
August 27, 2012 at 9:34 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The lizard people, he forgot the lizard people – that’s whose really behind it.
Gregory in Seattle
August 27, 2012 at 9:36 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@richardelguru #2 – I saw neither the Atheist Overlords nor the Pink Mafia.
Gregory in Seattle
August 27, 2012 at 9:38 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The last time I saw that kind of language was when I played Illuminati: New World Order.
“The Motorcycle Gangs, aided by the American Medical Association and the Boy Sprouts, will make an attack to destroy England.”
footface
August 27, 2012 at 9:39 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I can’t take this seriously because he failed to take into account the fact that Obama’s first spouse was a dude. You’ve got to connect all the dots, people.
Raging Bee
August 27, 2012 at 9:40 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Speaking of paranoid crap about Obama, has anyone else noticed the new movie out in theatres titled “2016: Obama’s America?” It’s a “documentary” based on Dinesh D’Sozzled’s book “The Roots of Obama’s Wrath” (obviously trying to capitalize on the “scary angry black man” stereotype). No previews, no general ad campaign, and suddenly it appears out of nowhere (or rather, out of some reich-winger’s ass) and it got a brief bit of buzz for being “number one” in gross for maybe a couple hours this weekend. The lack of publicity is pretty clearly an attempt to avoid public debunking by non-reich-wingers.
Oh, and now we’re seeing ads for “Atlas Shrugged II” coming in October. The reich-wing propaganda machine is gearing up.
raven
August 27, 2012 at 9:40 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The Space Reptiles. It’s always the Space Reptiles.
Guy isn’t even trying.
PS It also looks like he left the Jews out. This might be because Avi Lipkin is Jewish.
slc1
August 27, 2012 at 9:42 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Re richardelguru @ #2
He left out the Bilderbergers and the Council on Foreign Relations. He didn’t include the Zionists because he’s a member of that outfit.
richardelguru
August 27, 2012 at 9:42 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Matty and Gregory
thanks I knew something was missing.
And I, For One, Welcome Our New Somali-Palestinian-Bosnian-Algerian-Egyptian-Masonic-Illuminatic-TrilateralCommissiony-LizardPersonal-PinkMafiosish-Atheist Overlords
d cwilson
August 27, 2012 at 9:42 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Gee, I wonder why.
richardelguru
August 27, 2012 at 9:43 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Damn I can’t keep up!!
Please add your own as required.
raven
August 27, 2012 at 9:44 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Avi also left out the atheists, evolutionary biologists, and astronomers.
blf
August 27, 2012 at 9:53 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Um, Ok. Wow. Does this, ah, genius, have a proposed solution? (Other than he should continue with taking his medication, that is.)
Gregory in Seattle
August 27, 2012 at 9:54 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Oh, and those damned “scientists” who claim that we are running out of fossil fuels, that the earth is getting warmer, that smoking is bad and that poor lifestyle choices are why Americans are getting fat and unhealthy.
Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)
August 27, 2012 at 9:54 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Can’t they do some sort of genetic testing for Islam? Like, see if the double helices point towards Mecca five times a day.
jamessweet
August 27, 2012 at 9:55 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Wow, he actually specified what type of Muslim Obama is. That’s some impressively-detailed crazy right there!
tassilo
August 27, 2012 at 9:58 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Crazy enough, but I’ve heard one that’s even crazier, even though its based on a similar theme. Last year a Wyoming man told me, in short (but supported by reams of “evidence”):
Obama is just the latest figure head of a shadow world government. They’ve had a plan in place for at least 30 years to control the world, and they have enough influence and money to control elections. To make sure every US president, as well as other world leaders, serve their purposes, they manipulate the CIA and every major Secret Service in the world.
The man himself believed himself to be a “Manchurian Candidate”, a descendant of an East German spy master, and he believed he has been programmed to assasinate someone, he wasn’t sure if it was Obama. To forestall that, he is letting the world know, he has contacted every US military and Intelligence department, and local governments, too, but no one has taken him seriously, so far.
I don’t know how you can top that, Avin Lipkin comes close, though.
valhar2000
August 27, 2012 at 9:59 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The ol’ “black men are coming to take our women”. Can’t these people ever come up with something less than a century old?
baal
August 27, 2012 at 10:01 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Back in reality land, Bush the Lesser (so far as a president is responsible for the economy, it’s complicated) crashed the US and nearly the world economy in late 2008. It’s seriously under-played just how bad that was. In other reality land news, the ones who want war with Iran & Syria? Neocons. The same guys who’s foreign policy manual reads like a fantasy game of Risk(tm).
blf
August 27, 2012 at 10:01 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Including the Jewish ones? (Judaism is, as I recall, passed by the mother.)
dingojack
August 27, 2012 at 10:08 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
He didn’t even shift the blame onto Todd Akin’s vast collection* pet uteri.
Dingo
—–
* one for every outfit. Having a clash with one’s shoes would be just sooo declassé dahling!
karmacat
August 27, 2012 at 10:17 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Doesn’t he know that the US gets most of its oil from Canada? those Canadians are crafty AND they live next door. I, myself, welcome our Canadian overlords and their universal healthcare
timgueguen
August 27, 2012 at 10:19 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
So, does he approve of women being baby factories if they’re not married to Muslims?
Funny how he implies the Muslims are all in on it together in one breath, then turns around and claims Obama is a Sunni Muslim getting his orders from Saudi Arabia to counter the Shia Muslims of Iran. And the Nation of Islam? If the Muslim caliphate he and his fellow kooks believe in ever came about the NOI be among the first purged given their theology is full of heresies.
DaveL
August 27, 2012 at 10:31 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Now there’s an odd turn of phrase. As a university-educated man, I have plenty of experience with lectures where people hold forth on subjects in which they have some degree of expertise. I can’t say that I’ve ever heard anyone refer to their material as their “teachings” anywhere outside the sphere of religion or theology.
Chiroptera
August 27, 2012 at 10:33 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
DaveL, #29: I can’t say that I’ve ever heard anyone refer to their material as their “teachings” anywhere outside the sphere of religion or theology.
And even then, it is usually the sign of a cult leader.
raven
August 27, 2012 at 10:44 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Did you know that the swine flu vaccine was part of a UN population reduction program?
That billions will die from it?
And if you refuse to get the vaccine, the military will force you into a FEMA concentration camp?
Of course none of this happened.
These conspiracy theories are a staple of the lunatic fringes. When they don’t happen, no one pays any attention because they are on to the next one. Which won’t happen either.
The US is a world leader in many areas. Including having the largest lunatic fringes in the world. Large enough that we may find out what happens when the lunatics end up running the country.
tfkreference
August 27, 2012 at 11:00 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@raging bee: I noticed that movie on the marquee of a theatre–in Michele Bachman’s district. Thanks for the info about it.
donalbain
August 27, 2012 at 11:06 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Bart: So finally, we’re all in agreement about what’s going on with the adults. Milhouse?
Milhouse: Ahem. OK, here’s what we’ve got: the Rand Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people –
Bart: Thank you.
Milhouse: Under the supervision of the reverse vampires -
Lisa: [sighs]
Milhouse: – Are forcing our parents to go to bed early in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner. We’re through the looking glass, here, people…
scottplumer
August 27, 2012 at 11:10 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
He left out the Reptilians. He needs to read more David Icke.
dingojack
August 27, 2012 at 11:11 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Chiroptera (#30) – Well waddayano, you’re right!
;) Dingo
busterggi
August 27, 2012 at 11:36 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Look we have the Boy Sprouts and Harmonica Virgins to protect us – there is nothing to worry about.
Chiroptera
August 27, 2012 at 12:19 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Reading this mess of crazy-talk, I gotta ask: and the only thing that is causing some Republicans to question their relationship with the Extreme Right is Akins’ comments? Sure, that was a pretty big piece of evil dumbassery, but, still, only now, in 2012, they’re beginning to notice that the so-called “conservative” movement is going to hell?
Area Man
August 27, 2012 at 12:34 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
What, they didn’t lose enough money on the first one? I suppose the irony of having to rely on the charity of the production company, and the saps who lent them money, is lost on them.
Chiroptera
August 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Re: The advertisements for Atlas Shrugged II
When I saw them, I thought, “Atlas Shrugged Two“?
Then I figured that they probably needed an entire movie just for Gaunt’s speech.
kantalope
August 27, 2012 at 1:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Atlas Shrugged I — isn’t that the one with Bruce Willis cross-dressing as Ayn Rand is all: “I got mine, yipee-ki-yay motherfuckers!” as he swings out of the exploding building with all the loot from the safe?
Yeah, that was a great movie. *****
feralboy12
August 27, 2012 at 2:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yeah, that’s the one. But it won’t hold a candle to the blockbuster that is Atlas Shrugged II: Shrug Harder.
As for Lipkin, he’s still ignoring the financial lifeblood of the conspiracy network: the powerful drug cartel masterminded and controlled by Walter Mondale and the Queen of England. Lyndon LaRouche was onto that shit way back in the 1980′s, but of course it got hushed up by Big…er, Mondale, I guess.
Robert M.
August 27, 2012 at 5:51 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
We really ought to call this crank singularity, it’s where crank magnetism gets so strong that it collapses fringe ideas into a single theory which no facts, logic, or sense can get out.
kermit.
August 27, 2012 at 5:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’m holding out for Atlas Shrugged III: Shrug Free or Die French, so I can buy the boxed trilogy set.
Where does the Beast and His Number fit into all this?
Floridated water is pretty obvious.
And the chem trails! Are they simply a cheap waste disposal method, or is that what they want us to think?
iangould
August 27, 2012 at 10:24 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Even if Obama were a Muslim, having been exposed to that religion in Indonesia in the 60′s and 70′s (before the Saudis launched their world-wide indoctrination campaign) he’d likely be a follower of Abangan syncretic Islam – making him about as far removed from Saudi Sunni beliefs as,say, an American Quaker is from the Russian Orthodox church.
iangould
August 27, 2012 at 10:30 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“Did he leave anyone out??”
The Reverse Vampires.