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Pat Robertson: God’s Weatherman

I long ago suggested that given Pat Robertson’s frequent suggestion that this or that bad weather event was God’s punishment on us for (fill in the blank), the 700 Club should have a weather report. “Sodomy is up 13% in the Pacific Northwest; expect floods and locusts.” Bill Maher came up with a similar idea for his show a few years ago and did a sketch on it. Here’s ol’ Pat, at it again, blaming the drought on our sinful ways:

He says we should pray about it. Does he think people aren’t praying for rain? Hell, several governors have declared official days of prayer over it. Churches throughout the hardest hit states are holding prayer rallies over it. Is it just not enough people? How many people have to pray about it, Pat? And what will you say if the Republican convention gets hit by a hurricane this week?

Comments

  1. Michael Heath says

    Well, the giant irony right now is the GOP having to cancel this Monday’s GOP Convention proceedings because of the storm/hurricane Isaac. If this was the Democratic convention having trouble with the weather that would be proof to nearly all Republicans God only loves Tea Party Republicans. I’m waiting to see how conservative Christian demagogues spin this given it’s the GOP convention instead, they might still go with the same explanation given Romney’s a Mormon and in their eyes, a conservative poseur. And yet they need to also rally support to Romney if they’re going to get rid of the uppity black usurper in the White House.

  2. KG says

    Well you could argue that Pat’s half right in this instance, if you substitute “Feel we can ignore the laws of nature” for “Feel we can ignore the laws of God”. It’s always difficult to say that any single weather extreme is down to AGW, but increased frequency and severity of drought is a completely predictable (and predicted) consequence of spewing greenhouse gases into the atmosphere without restraint – a practice which Americans have followed more enthusiastically than most.

  3. bahrfeldt says

    Pat, as always, gets his weather forecasts from his lord, the Prince of the Powers of the Air.

  4. says

    Is it just me, or are the “Bible Belt” states the ones disproportionatly struck by “Acts of God”? Here in Buffalo,where gay marriage and abortion are quite legal, we’ve had a warm and somewhat dry summer, but mostly delightful.

    If you’re wanting good weather and an abortion, make a little trip to Buffalo, I say.

  5. raven says

    ……..
    Republican National Convention events delayed due to Isaac
    by Chris Moody, Yahoo! News
    The Ticket

    TAMPA — The events planned for the Republican National Convention on Monday will be postponed due to severe weather predictions near the conference’s host city, Republican officials said Saturday. “The …

    It’s clear. God hates fundie xians.

    He is always sending hurricanes and tornadoes into their heartland of the south-central USA. They never catch on.

  6. Sastra says

    It seems to me that the attitude of faith comes down to being able and willing to approach your life as if you’re a character in a story. God/Spirit is the author of this story, working behind the scenes and moving all events around in order to help the plot work out. These events include the good, the bad, and the weather.

    If you’ve committed yourself to one of these spiritual narratives, you don’t have to be consistent in how you look at the world. If a tornado kills 10 people and one person surprises everyone by surviving in a wreck, then God both caused the tornado and saved that one person for a purpose — a literary one, basically. You’re supposed to make connections, discern a miracle, believe in the power of the Author of the story — and pretend that this Author isn’t really just you.

    The theme is that the faith of the faithful will always either increase, or increase in value. As long as you can figure out some way to make those happen, then that has to be what the event “was for.” I think Robertson isn’t likely to see his hypocrisy, his arrogance, or his ignorance as long as he follows the template his religion gives him and manages to see signs and messages confirming the fantasy playing out in his head. He’s just a character who knows he’s in a book. It’s the rest of us who are deluded.

  7. says

    It’s clear. God hates fundie xians.

    He is always sending hurricanes and tornadoes into their heartland of the south-central USA. They never catch on.

    Raven @9.

    You don’t get it. God is like the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket. He doesn’t punish Private “Pyle” for his mistakes, he punishes the other recruits, which then motivates them to beat Pyle with bars of soap wrapped in towels. Consequently, Pyle becomes a better Marine, well at least until he kills the dril sergeant and then himself! God is punishing the good Christians of America to encourage them to crack down on the homosekshuals and the aborshunists!

  8. says

    Hey! Ol’ Hurricane Pat was able to save his headquarters in Virginia Beach from Gloria … why isn’t he down in Tampa saving all those “traditional values voters”?

  9. naturalcynic says

    Oh, ye of little faith! God is sending the storm to alleviate the drought in central Georgia – the only part of the southeast with significant drought conditions. He just can’t do Kansas, ya’ know.

  10. says

    Talk about scientific ignorance and superstition! Robertson seems extremely uneducated, esp about science and with remarks like that. It’s time to do some serious “learnin’”, Robertson, not serious praying.

  11. Larry says

    He just can’t do Kansas, ya’ know.

    He was aiming for the midwest but, as you know, his aim has been quite bad, lo these past millenia.

  12. Sastra says

    tommykey #12 wrote:

    You don’t get it. God is like the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket. He doesn’t punish Private “Pyle” for his mistakes, he punishes the other recruits, which then motivates them to beat Pyle with bars of soap wrapped in towels.

    Heh. I think you’ve come up with a good analogy here. This drill sergeant interpretation of God’s “message” allows almost infinite flexibility on interpretation. Allowing infinite flexibility on how we interpret a message from God is one of the great virtues of faith.

  13. Randomfactor says

    Prayer? He thinks god will bring rain for a mere prayer?

    It’s gonna take human sacrifice to appease that vengeful mother this time. And nothing less than a major church leader will do.

    Do I hear any volunteers? I KNOW Fox News would cover it live…

  14. Randomfactor says

    which then motivates them to beat Pyle with bars of soap wrapped in towels.

    So we need to get the soap out and Pyle on the Republicans, then?

  15. raven says

    It’s gonna take human sacrifice to appease that vengeful mother this time. And nothing less than a major church leader will do.

    Where are the Aztecs when you really need them?

  16. D. C. Sessions says

    bahrfeldt scores.

    Randomfactor, the problem with the whole “sacrifice” thing is the shortage of virgins in the Bible Belt.

  17. JoeBuddha says

    I know what the narrative will be:
    Hurricane hits? Republicans aren’t bat-shit crazy enough.
    Hurricane misses? Power of prayer.

    Heads I win, tails you lose.

  18. raven says

    What really boggles my mind is that this man was actually a serious contender for the Presidency some years back…

    He’s also a billionaire from droning on about what is just nonsense.

    Robertson used to be a faith healer. He also pedicted the End of the World in the 1980′s and got it wrong.

    He explains it by saying that it is all god’s plan and god wants him to be rich.

  19. says

    Jesus said 2 believers praying together can move mountains and perform miracles…conclusions,
    either Jesus was wrong (impossible, obviously),
    God doesn’t exist (now that’s just absurd on the face of it),
    or there aren’t 2 True Christians™ anywhere.

  20. says

    The wrath of God, apparently, ain’t what it used to be. God used to send plagues of boils and rains of fire from the heavens and other such things that made life a living hell for everyone when he was displeased by our “Sinful ways”, now he sends a drought that pushes the price of meat up 5% and makes life tough for the small percentage of people who are still farmers.

    (note, not diminishing the effects of the drought, just pointing out that it just doesn’t compare to the punishments meted out in ye olde booke of fairie tales called the Bible)

  21. Gvlgeologist, FCD says

    Since it now looks like Isaac will now hit farther to the west, near Alabama, Mississippi, and the Florida panhandle, thanks to Pat and other prayerful attendees of the RNC, I think it is now appropriate to ask the conservative voters of those states what they think of the power of prayer.

  22. abb3w says

    @5, bahrfeldt:

    Pat, as always, gets his weather forecasts from his lord, the Prince of the Powers of the Air.

    Heh; that’s a Bible reference I wasn’t familiar with. Ouch.

  23. Tony •King of the Hellmouth• says

    Since I live in the panhandle of Florida, according to Pat, am *I* the reason god is sending this Hurricane? I’ve been a naughty boy. All the gey secks, atheism, and drinking must have finally registered on his majesty’s radar.

  24. frankb says

    Today in drought stricken Iowa we had a whole day of ground soaking rain. But we did nothing to get rid of abortion or gay marriage. Explain that, Mr Weatherman Robertson!

  25. busterggi says

    Mr. Furious: I don’t need a compass to know which way the wind shines.

    Love that movie.

  26. thalwen says

    Pat Robertson’s God has terrible aim. He sends tornadoes and hurricanes that wipe out thousands of homes and churches because of a gay club or women’s clinic. He sends out a foetus shaped hurricane and threatens the lives of many precious frozen embryos. You’d think someone omnipotent and all-knowing would at least know how to use Google maps.

    Then again, it does explain why they think their God is male.

  27. StevoR says

    So .. what did all the people (once) living in the Sahara do to deserve their prolonged lack of rainfall and consequent climate change I wonder? ;-)

  28. blf says

    The Great Sky Faerie’s aim is extremely bad not only in the spacial dimensions, but also temporally. For instance, according to one of the Faerie’s minions (I think Pat?) the earthquake in Haiti was due to the Haitian slaves successfully revolting some 400 years earlier — on that occasion, the spacial aim was perhaps what was intended (albeit one must ask why the ex-slaves were being killed) — but the quake missed by several centuries.

    An advantage of botching the time as well as the place is the event can then be interpreted however some Faerie minion wants…

  29. baal says

    “Sodomy is up 13% in the Pacific Northwest”

    That’s an empirical claim. We can test it – just need everyone to report or be surveilled in the…

    Wonder if Pat could be forced to attend some classes on atmospherics, water cycle and other climate science.

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