The Latest in Pyramidiocy


You’ve probably seen the image below, or some version of it, on Facebook or elsewhere. It’s usually accompanied by breathless gee-whiz exclamations or even talk of how brilliant and advanced and ahead of their time the Egyptians were to build the pyramids where they would line up so perfectly with astronomical objects.

I’m sure it will come as no surprise to my generally skeptical readers that this is some grade A prime bullshit. Phil Plait explains why. Yes, there will be an interesting configuration of Mercury, Venus, and Saturn in the sky in early December, but it will look nothing even remotely like that and it has nothing whatsoever to do with the precise location of the Giza pyramids. But you can expect the denizens of vaguely mystical woo to flog this horse just like they have all that crap about the Mayan calendar.

Comments

  1. blf says

    [Y]ou can expect the denizens of vaguely mystical woo to flog this horse just like they have all that crap about the Mayan calendar.

    Fortunately, after Dec 21st or whatever the magical mystical malarkey Mayan date is, they’ll all have been beamed to Sirius / fallen off the edge of the universe / transcended into a higher plane of being / stupidity / innumeracy, leaving reality to those who can deal with it.

  2. blindrobin says

    Stargate WAS TOO A DOCUMENTARY!!!! And you can’t tell me otherwise. La La La La La La La La La

  3. joeina2 says

    And it’s stupid on so many levels. For instance, even if the planetary alignment happened, why would that imply something magical or special in anyway? The pharoah’s believed themselves gods, so why wouldn’t they want themselves (via they’re undeniably large tombs) to be associated with celestial bodies? Occam’s razor here is salt in the wounds the facts did to all this woo.

  4. Trebuchet says

    I’ll believe it (the alignment, disregarding the pyramids) when I see it. Which I won’t, seeing as how it’s in December and I’m in the Pacific Northwest.

    No doubt this is a warning for the Mayan Apocalypse a couple of weeks later. Or something.

  5. vmanis1 says

    I’m sorry, but the evidence that the Pyramids were built by gods or aliens is too strong to ignore. Consider that, with all the resources of being the #1 nation in the world, the U.S. is unable to repair bridges that are on the verge of falling down. Now try to tell me that a bunch of primitive people who didn’t even have a Republican party can put up something as complicated as a pyramid on their own (`We want to ensure that Rameses is a one-term Pharoah’). Yeah, right.

  6. blf says

    [T]he evidence that the Pyramids were built by gods or aliens is too strong to ignore.

    Actually, they weren’t built as such. They are just scrapheaps leftover from the construction of the Great Wall. The various rooms and corridors and paintings and whatnots are all the work of local vandals / practical jokers.

  7. busterggi says

    Have you ever noticed that the pointy parts of the pyramids are at the tops?

    That can’t be a coincedence, only advanced planning could have accomplished that.

  8. Francisco Bacopa says

    Ever notice the racism in all this ancient alien stuff? The more different a culture is from contemporary western culture, the more likely people are to say they were helped by aliens.

    So the Egyptians were helped by aliens. The Nazca people couldn’t have figured out geometrec similarity without being flown in an aircraft r spaceship. Yet somehow the Romans were able maintain constant slopes on their aqueducts and the Greeks could do that reverse-perspective effect on their columns without alien help.

  9. dingojack says

    vmanis1 – ah but you’re wrong! These are no ‘primative people’.
    After Rameses The Great’s death in July or August 1213 bce he never ruled Egypt again! A single term*.
    Ha! Take that! Look upon works ye mighty and despair!
    Dingo
    —–
    * It’s looking like the Rmoney/Ryan folks won’t even magage that

  10. jimmiraybob says

    I’m reserving judgment until Christine O’Donnell and the Troublemakers weigh in.

    This could be witches. Or sorcery.

  11. Doug Little says

    Will Pink Floyd be playing?

    Oh please, please make it so. I’ll play make believe on any level if I could just see them in concert one time, just one bloody time.

  12. omnicrom says

    That’s really cool and I feel happy to be alive to see such a striking alignment of planets over Pyramids.

    Oh wait, you think this has some deeper meaning? You can’t see something cool happen without looking for the orchestrator? I feel sorry for you.

  13. davem says

    Couldn’t you just walk to a point 90 degrees away and the image wouldn’t line up?

    Or you could walk forwards, or backwards… And even when they’re aligned, it’s at some strange angle with the pyramids themselves. Proof that the Eygptians built them because they knew about idiots on Facebook in 2012

  14. ajb47 says

    dingojack: Tell me that wasn’t a typo in your footnote. With all the talk of tax returns and out-of-touch rich guy, that’s just funny.

  15. says

    Consider that, with all the resources of being the #1 nation in the world, the U.S. is unable to repair bridges that are on the verge of falling down. Now try to tell me that a bunch of primitive people who didn’t even have a Republican party can put up something as complicated as a pyramid on their own (`We want to ensure that Rameses is a one-term Pharoah’). Yeah, right.

    They accomplished it with tax cuts for the rich and increased military spending, which caused the deficit to go way down. Then they got rid of all environmental and labor regulations, outlawed unions and stole workers’ pensions and benefits, and this caused small business job creators in the private sector to build the pyramids all by themselves.

    Joking aside, the pyramids are a monument to rich and powerful assholes who had more money than they knew what to do with, so they used it to build something useless. Kind of reminds me of this.

  16. jws1 says

    This is just more of the arrogance of modern people – they think only they could have erected such massive and intricate structures. All those living before a century or two ago were just a bunch of benighted fools living in a perpetual dark age. Nietzsche aptly dubs this way of thinking the “last man”: all of history exists just to create me, and of course I am the goal, the finished project.

  17. says

    busterggi ,

    Ever notice the racism in all this ancient alien stuff? The more different a culture is from contemporary western culture, the more likely people are to say they were helped by aliens.

    Oh brother. That’s not even “as good as” a correlation = causation error. I’ve heard some people claim that aliens built Stonehenge. Is that racist too?*

    —————
    * It goes without saying that it is racist to question your claim that attributing the building of ancient wonders to aliens is not just rank stupidity, but racism.

  18. interrobang says

    attributing the building of ancient wonders to aliens is not just rank stupidity, but racism

    It can’t be both at the same time, on a case-by-case basis? You have a problem with non-dichotomous thinking or something? I mean, not all racists are stupid, but a lot of stupid people are racist.

    Also, to the main point of the post, ancient civilisations aren’t allowed to have had a good working knowledge of astronomy? I’m sure pretty much all of our ancient ancestors, who certainly knew about and observed things like solstices, constellations, star conjunctions, and whatever else, would be very surprised to hear that.

  19. ottod says

    If you want to amaze me, show me where the Mayans predicted the Egyptians (or vice versa).

  20. caseloweraz says

    Amazing how the planets in that image possess nearly the same apparent magnitude. Did they adjust their light reflectance for the occasion, or did they move closer to better combine their influences?

    /sarc

  21. timberwoof says

    Oh, foolish me. I should have RTFA.

    [blockquote]Let me be clear: while there will be an event more-or-less like this in December, and it should be pretty and quite cool to see, the claims being made are somewhat exaggerated. The picture itself isn’t real, and the planets won’t really look like that from Giza.[/quote]

Leave a Reply