A group of parents in Lake Charles, Louisiana are freaking out over their local elementary school using a palm scanner to speed up their lunch lines. And of course it’s all because — ZOMG! — the antichrist! It’s the mark of the Beast! Run!
A local elementary school is trying to implement a new program in their cafeteria. But the palm vein scanner is being met with much opposition from Moss Bluff Elementary parents.
“I was very, very mad,” said parent Mamie Sonnier. “Disappointed.”
Many parents felt that way on Monday after reading a letter sent home with their children from Moss Bluff Elementary School. The letter introduced a new program, the palm vein scanner, to move students through the lunch line at a faster rate. With almost 1,000 students, Principal Charles Caldarera says the system will reduce errors…
Sonnier says she’s against the palm vein scanner because of her beliefs.
“As a Christian, I’ve read the Bible, you know go to church and stuff,” said Sonnier. “I know where it’s going to end up coming to, the mark of the beast. I’m not going to let my kids have that.”…
“I’d probably pull them out of the school, and transfer them to another school,” said Sonnier.
Good. You do that.
44 comments
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anandine
August 21, 2012 at 11:09 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’m confused. Is she afraid that the scanner will somehow imprint the mark of the beast on her kids’ palms or that it will discover a mark of the beast already there?
Modusoperandi
August 21, 2012 at 11:12 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
If it’s a palm vein scanner and it’s the Mark of the Beast, wouldn’t that mean that everybody, ever, already has the mark?
John Pieret
August 21, 2012 at 11:12 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Better yet, she could home school them and let them bask in her vast knowledge and critical thinking skills.
oranje
August 21, 2012 at 11:13 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
See, and here I was thinking everyone thought of Jack Van Impe’s show as a comedy. Tut tut.
IslandBrewer
August 21, 2012 at 11:13 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@anandine
Tsk, tsk, I see you’re using those “critical thinking skills” and questioning things.
That type of thinking is FROM THE DEVIL!
Draken
August 21, 2012 at 11:13 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I could see some potential privacy concerns, though. Are they going to register every kid’s eating patterns, ‘forget’ to delete it from the harddisk or ‘lose’ the USB dongle with the data on it, so the NSA can spot all the people who don’t eat pork in 12 years time?
Abby Normal
August 21, 2012 at 11:15 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It’s better than the old photo ID’s the school had been using. Taking a person’s picture steals their soul.
Michael Heath
August 21, 2012 at 11:16 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ed responds:
While such transfers benefit the remaining public school children given there’s one less parent who seeks to abuse public school children by denying them an optimal education*; it makes it easier for the parent if their kid transfers to a Christian school to effectively abuse their child by limiting their educative and career opportunities and better indoctrinate them into the parents’ beliefs. I ache for Ms. Sonnier’s children.
In the intermediate-run such transfers also increase the political capital for Christianists to obtain state and local taxpayer monies to fund their religious schools, which enables them to abuse those students even more than if they attended a public school.
*I assume this parent is the stereotypical conservative Christian who supports school board members who deny seek to deny students a proper education in: critical thinking, science, history, and other college prep programs.
Jordan Genso
August 21, 2012 at 11:17 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Does anyone know exactly what the scanner is “reading” when you put your hand on it? Does it somehow identify you based on the lines in your palm?
blf
August 21, 2012 at 11:19 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’m confused.
So are the parents.
Some admittedly extremely quick searching failed to come up with an answer as to what is so scary about palm scanning.
Unrelated, how accurate and reproducible is palm scanning? Will growing children need to be re-registered every now and then as their hands change size?
coreyrobey
August 21, 2012 at 11:27 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Just as a joke, is anybody up for getting a pile of RFID chips, a mini-guillotine, and some fake futurismo uniforms so we can set up on main street and do mock ultimatums?
Larry
August 21, 2012 at 11:28 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I wonder what Mrs. Sonnier thinks (if I may use that term loosely) about scanners in the airport?
usingreason
August 21, 2012 at 11:28 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
That women’s quote was so full of stupid I actually blacked out for a couple minutes; a new debate weapon has been discovered.
ibbica
August 21, 2012 at 11:29 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Veins:
http://thefutureofthings.com/articles/34/fujitsus-palm-vein-technology.html
http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2008/08/18/vein-scan-identity.html
Raging Bee
August 21, 2012 at 11:32 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
A machine that scans natural pre-existing physical features is leading to the mark of the beast? Bloody Hell, those people are stupid. Are their brains being damaged by pollutants or something?
ibbica
August 21, 2012 at 11:33 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Very accurate, if the manufacturers are to be believed ;)
And apparently yes, children would need to be re-scanned annually, until they’re about 15 years old.
imrryr
August 21, 2012 at 11:36 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@ibbica – Looks like Modus was right then, because veins are the mark of the beast! Before the fall, mankind only had arteries because our blood was pure and never became deoxygenated.
Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were people stupid enough to believe that. Where’s Elijah from the old Dispatches site when you need him?
Modusoperandi
August 21, 2012 at 11:38 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Jordan Genso “Does anyone know exactly what the scanner is ‘reading’ when you put your hand on it? Does it somehow identify you based on the lines in your palm?”
“I see a conflict between your fate line and your life line soon, but your heart line is strong, so you’ll pull through it…“
suzysalaksartok
August 21, 2012 at 11:41 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Dont forget, thats not only a plot by the Antichrist, but of witchcraft worshiping palm readers! They’re going to tell their future, and start to fail the children that would do well in life so that the new world order can have a steady supply of sheeple.
I wonder though, is that really any better than just having a card with a barcode on it? Thats what I had in school, seemed to work OK, and didn’t require me to get my veins scanned. (which maybe its just my stupid mind, but doesn’t sound that accurate, has a kind of pointless privacy invasion [are school lunches really something that needs biometrics?], and sounds kinda expensive.)
clayhale
August 21, 2012 at 11:42 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
From the school administrator’s perspective, if she and others transfer their children, the lines will move faster even without a scanner. Mission accomplished!
It’s plausible the school’s academic averages improve as well if enough parents who clearly are not focused on their child’s academic excellence transfer them.
The administrator could be crazy like the Anti-Christ Fox.
Randomfactor
August 21, 2012 at 11:43 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I wonder though, is that really any better than just having a card with a barcode on it?
Barcodes is also of the debbil. Even has that 666 mark on every one.
Especially on Proctor&Gamble products.
dean
August 21, 2012 at 11:44 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Maybe she heard “palm-reading” and thought of chiromancy.
I would not be surprised if home-schooling is what she meant by the “other school”.
Stevarious
August 21, 2012 at 11:50 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Alas, there’s nothing new about weapons-grade stupidity.
busterggi
August 21, 2012 at 11:53 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
But if the Beast doesn’t get to put his mark on people then Jesus can’t come back.
Why do these Christians hate Jesus?
bbgunn
August 21, 2012 at 11:55 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Why doesn’t one of the parents just pack a lunch for the kid(s) and avoid the lunch line? Too busy in the morning watching some telejihadist?
jakc
August 21, 2012 at 12:07 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Might not be the antichrist but it is still a bad thing I think. It’s simply far too easy to track, there are already far too many databases of information. So the lunch line moves a little slower. That’s not the worst thing in the world.
lofgren
August 21, 2012 at 12:12 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
This version of the mark of the beast is not necessarily a literal mark. The idea is just that some people will be locked out of the market (unable to buy or sell) due to their essential person. Basically they will get your handprint, and then if transactions are conducted through that “they” can then come up with some excuse (convicted of a felony, for example) to say “this person cannot ever buy and sell,” or “this person can only buy and sell certain items but not others.” You could thus create and maintain a permanent economic underclass.
I actually find this an entirely plausible possibility. And the way it would happen is simply through gradual creep, just like the way your SS number has gradually become more and more important to banking, etc. You start by taking handprints of kids in school to get them used to the idea. School lunches already work on a per person system rather than a money system. You get what you get, not what you can pay for in most schools, so the rationale for switching to some kind of biometric is already in place (really, a photo ID is already a kind of “biometric” in a sense).
Then you already have a massive database of handprints, so you decide you might as well use it, probably at first by allowing the local businesses around the high school to tap into it in order to give students with good grades discounts on small items. My high school did that, but you had to carry your report card and school ID around with you to prove your identity. Again, a very small step towards streamlining.
Then you give the kids a form to sign so that their college can also access the handprint database rather than issue a college ID, and the college uses that to allow local businesses around the campus to charge to the students’ meal/expense accounts. Again, this is something that my college already did. You could swipe your student ID instead of a credit card and the money would be taken out of a food/book budget that your parents set up through the dorms.
Now the government has this huge database of handprints that people are already using to buy and sell, so they decide to simply license it directly to credit card companies. (Or maybe they privatized the creation of the database in the first place. Why not? Privatization is all the rage. Just have Visa submit a bid to the school districts to install the hardware and maintain the database in exchange for gathering info about people’s purchasing habits and maybe putting some video screens up around the cafeteria that run non-stop ads.) Before long you are using your handprint to buy and sell like a credit card, but you are also using it to access your bank account, wire money, download a movie to your iPad, prove your age to buy alcohol, get into a club, etc., etc. Hey, it cuts down on identity theft, right? At least unless you chop off somebody’s hand.
It’s a very short step from there to politicians demagoguing that certain classes of people should not be able to buy certain things. We drug test welfare recipients, why not simply stop them from buying liquor and cigarettes with their benefits (which they access via handprint)? Should convicted felons be allowed to purchase tools that might be used to open a safe? Should a brown person be allowed to buy bags of fertilizer that could be turned into a bomb? Should college students on scholarship be allowed to buy a new car?
I’m not saying that these rules are a sign of the end times; in fact I would argue that this kind of control of the market has been a tool of the ruling the classes going back to ancient times, and very likely contributed to the inspiration of the passage about the mark of the beast in revelations. There are legitimate economists and civil rights advocates even today who are wary of our society’s shift towards a digital money system, for very similar reasons.
DaveL
August 21, 2012 at 12:26 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’m surprised parents haven’t come forward to question the wisdom of having hundreds of schoolchildren touch the same thing with their hand immediately before eating, day after day.
davidhart
August 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: ”
So if they just make sure that they scan the children’s left hands, everything should be perfectly okay?
raven
August 21, 2012 at 12:37 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
And you even admit it? Sorry but you are going to hell for sure now.
It wouldn’t surprise me if some fundies somewhere believe bar codes are a plot of the antichrist too. Their world is full of satan and demons, after all. These are the people who burn Harry Potter books and fear and hate yoga.
She hasn’t thought it through very well, using the word “thought” loosely. The antichrist is supposed to be time sharing with the White House and the Vatican. I doubt a school in Louisiana is high on his list.
raven
August 21, 2012 at 12:45 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I just guessed, but fundies really do believe bar codes are the mark of the beast and part of the plans of the antichrist.
I bet they still go to the stores and buy stuff though.
lofgren
August 21, 2012 at 12:51 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Barcodes mark products, while biometrics mark people. It is a reasonable distinction. Using the word reasonable very loosely.
uncephalized
August 21, 2012 at 1:28 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
This was one of my first thoughts as well. Flu risk anyone?
Of course schools full of children are already pathogenic free-for-alls anyway, and there are a million other things they all touch with their snot/shit/whatever-soiled hands, so it really won’t make any difference, but it does sound gross.
d cwilson
August 21, 2012 at 2:17 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Draken @6
Don’t be ridiculous. Michelle Obama is going to use this to force kids to eat vegetables and take away their french fries and cookies.
Also, space reptiles.
steve oberski
August 21, 2012 at 3:10 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It’s the and stuff part that I have a problem with.
twincats
August 21, 2012 at 3:11 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Actually, it’s not the best thing, either. According to the anonymous blogger at Fed Up With Lunch (www.fedupwithlunch.com) a lot of schools have cut lunch to half an hour or less and when you have to spend some amount of time in line just to get lunch, you really haven’t got much time left to cram it into your mouth.
Back in the olden days, we got an hour; enough time to line up, eat and get a bit of tetherball in before going back to class. I’m sure glad I don’t go to school nowadays! [/crumudgeon]
Ace of Sevens
August 21, 2012 at 3:34 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
When I was in school, I knew plenty of people who didn’t eat lunch because by the time they got to the cafeteria and went through the line, they had about fifteen minutes to eat and get to their next class, which was at the other end of the building.
Raging Bee
August 21, 2012 at 3:37 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
…I’ve read the Bible, you know go to church and stuff…
In other words, for this woman, “reading the Bible” means going to church and having another idiot tell her what the Bible says. And stuff.
pHred
August 21, 2012 at 3:41 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yep – My son, in elementary school, gets a grand total of 40 minutes for lunch, including the time it takes to get from the classroom to the cafeteria (and back which eats up 10 minutes right there) and the time he stands in the line to get lunch and buy milk or fruit (we have packed his lunch for the past couple of years – this is partly why but he still ends up lined up to get to the lunch table).
He almost never finishes lunch since he also generally runs to the bathroom as well. So in reality the kids usually have about 15-20 minutes to actually sit down and eat.
Modusoperandi
August 21, 2012 at 3:48 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
twincats “According to the anonymous blogger at Fed Up With Lunch (www.fedupwithlunch.com) a lot of schools have cut lunch to half an hour or less and when you have to spend some amount of time in line just to get lunch, you really haven’t got much time left to cram it into your mouth.”
We had to get our food and eat it on the way to return our trays while people yelled at us. Granted, that was boot camp.
zippythepinhead
August 21, 2012 at 6:34 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Better for you to drop out of school and become a hooker in New Orleans dying of AIDS, because someday they’ll find a cure for HIV, but you’ll never get the taste of school cafeteria food out of your mouth.
Childermass
August 21, 2012 at 11:24 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
When I saw this, I thought…Oklahoma can’t be the only state that does biometrics in drivers’ licenses. So why are they not objecting? But a quick Google show that the kooks are pulling the same religious objection to OK’s DL. I will let others google their own state.
The Google search I used was for: oklahoma biometric drivers license “mark of the beast”
dingojack
August 22, 2012 at 2:28 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Lofgren – “We drug test welfare recipients, why not simply stop them from buying liquor and cigarettes with their benefits (which they access via handprint)?”
Been there, done that, got the tee-shirt.
:( Dingo
dingojack
August 22, 2012 at 4:37 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Was he looking for some souls to steal?
Dingo