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Aug 15 2012

Immodest Women Cause Iranian Earthquake

A month ago I wrote about an Iranian cleric who said that women who dress immodestly are the cause of earthquakes and he predicted that Iran would be hit with earthquakes if women don’t start covering up more skin. Looks like the guy was right, as two quakes hit a remote area in Northwestern Iran last weekend. The imam said:

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media. Women in the Islamic Republic are required by law to cover from head to toe, but many, especially the young, ignore some of the more strict codes and wear tight coats and scarves pulled back that show much of the hair. “What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble?” Sedighi asked during a prayer sermon last week. “There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam’s moral codes.”

I find it fascinating how bad God’s aim always seems to be. Surely, if he wanted to, he could simply take out the women who are dressing immodestly. Maybe he could just have them burst into flames if any skin is showing; surely that would be a more effective deterrent to others than a natural disaster that is easily explained by purely natural forces. For that matter, these same people think that Allah is on their side in a battle against the Great Satan — America, of course. If he’s willing to send natural disasters that kill hundreds over too much ankle, surely he would simply reduce this nation to ashes if he wanted to. And yet he doesn’t. Funny, the behavior of this righteous God is indistinguishable from that of a God that doesn’t exist at all.

23 comments

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  1. 1
    Randomfactor

    When do we men get our seismic due? I’m ready with my Speedo…

  2. 2
    anubisprime

    They all start off being self righteous prigs…and end up in the pre-school playground making up farcical, far fetched kiddy stories that only the chronically brain damaged would believe!

  3. 3
    richardelguru

    Random Not having seen you, but I’m quaking already.

  4. 4
    yoav

    This disproves the jewish fundi version of seismology which claims that earthquakes are caused by tha gayz, since as I’m sure you all remember Ahmadinejad said a few years ago that there are no gay people in Iran, and I’m sure he would never lie to us.

  5. 5
    azportsider

    I blame Jen McCreight…

  6. 6
    John Hinkle

    Shorter Pat Robertson Sedighi:

    Many women do not dress modestly.

    Therefore earthquakes.

    Therefore god.

  7. 7
    Member X

    Huh, I always thought earthquakes were caused by tectonic plates getting caught on each other, building tension that is eventually released when the plates become unstuck. Silly me.

  8. 8
    busterggi

    Funny, no earthquakes in South America’s Amazon basin or central Africa or Australia where nudity is the normal practise.

    No tsunamis at nude beaches around the world either.

    Yahweh’s aim is just plain awful.

  9. 9
    abb3w

    No other solution to avoid being buried under the rubble? How about less emphasis on “Islam’s moral codes” and more emphasis on “modern Civil Engineering building codes”?

  10. 10
    Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    @Member X, #7:

    Come now, what’s more likely – that well documented and consistently observed processes of geology cause earthquakes, or immodestly dressed women?

    Boobquake happened. Earthquakes happened. Within the same lifetime. What more proof do you need?

  11. 11
    eric

    Yahweh’s aim is just plain awful.

    That assumes he views collective punishment as immoral, like we do. May be he doesn’t, and killing innocents for the ‘crimes’ of their neighbors is the point.

  12. 12
    shouldbeworking

    Women who dress modestly DO prevent earthquakes! It’s been scientifically proven!!! Baffin Island is not known for its seismic activity and the women all dress modesty, especially in January. So there! QED.

  13. 13
    oranje

    Let’s see if I can follow this… dress immodestly, corrupt young men, hurt chastity, increase infidelity, cause earthquakes. Well, that escalated quickly.

  14. 14
    birgerjohansson

    Zod did not only set off earthquakes, he killed my favourite SF author Harry Harrison today, as a belated revenge for him making fun of religion (among many other things).

    Zod is a jerk.

  15. 15
    Modusoperandi

    My milkshake brings all the quakes to Iran.

  16. 16
    CSB

    “I find it fascinating how bad God’s aim always seems to be.”

    Tell me about it. When’s the last time an earthquake wrecked Vegas?

  17. 17
    georgewiman

    Actually it’s just that immodest women cause Earthquakes in their pants, and it makes them nervous. See, it’s up to the women to fix it. Never their own responsibility.

  18. 18
    vmanis1

    One minor correction. Gay sex causing earthquakes is very definitely a Christian notion, and was popularized by Justinian the Great, who was very moral and very theological and whose wife, Theodora, was a former prostitute. The `Code of Justinian’ specifically says that because gay sex, not to mention such blasphemous utterances as `by God’s beard’, cause famine, earthquake, and pestilences, the perpetrators should have something really bad done to them; the Code is quite vague, but I imagine that tying the guilty to chairs and making them listen to endless repetitions of the 1910 Fruitgum Company’s rendition of `Yummy, yummy, yummy (I’ve got love in my tummy)’ was not Justinian’s first choice.

    Justinian’s ridiculous theory has since been conclusively discredited (except among the stupid and the venal, e.g., televangelists). However, it has left traces, I can speak from personal experience here: after a particularly good bout of gay sex, either I or my partner will remark `I felt the earth move’.

  19. 19
    Crudely Wrott

    re #14:
    No! Not Harry Harrison?!
    (checks Google; Oh, my, yes. Sheds a fond tear.)
    But wait! What is that scritching sound I hear coming from the wall? Something moves in there. Something much larger than a termite or a cockroach. It is Jim, Slippery Jim, I just knows.

    Oh, and earthquakes happen all by themselves, yes they do.

  20. 20
    twincats

    “What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble?” Sedighi asked during a prayer sermon last week. “There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam’s moral codes.”

    Why do I get the feeling that they haven’t even tried updating the building codes? Or would that offend allah, too?

  21. 21
    georgewiman

    “Why do I get the feeling that they haven’t even tried updating the building codes? Or would that offend allah, too?”

    Pious people told Ben Franklin that his newfangled “lightning rods” were a-thwart the will o’ God.

  22. 22
    vmanis1

    Re lightning rods: the story goes that in many towns the church refused to install one, but the local house of ill repute did install one. After a few storms, so it was said, the pastors decided that God did approve of lightning rods after all.

  23. 23
    lorn

    Or … perhaps the good people of Iran could stay away from their buildings and hazards for a day or three while all the women get naked and dance lustily. Allah would then give the ground a really good shake and everything that can fall down will. Then the women, showing the merest nod to decorum, could wear just a bit of clothing and Allah would be unjustified in a greater shaking. There would be quakes as he expressed his divine prudery but everything likely to fall would have already done so so women could dress as they please and Iran would be safe even as it shakes.

    Exposed female flesh having such a profound effect opens all sort of possibilities. Nations could create bikini teams as strategic weapons. Sneak in the bikini team and have them perform a salacious dance and God, in his infinite wisdom and power, visits an earthquake on the area. Obviously the Swedes, with the power of their bikini team, are kicking our ass in this advanced form of weapons technology.

  1. 24
    Iran: La culpa de las consecuencias del terremoto la tienen las mujeres inmodestas « NUEVA EUROPA- Nueva Eurabia

    [...] de las oraciones del viernes en  Teherán , afirmó que los temblores del terremoto fueron causados ​​por la conducta inmoral de la mujer? Hojatoleslam Kazem [...]

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