Mitt’s Magic Anti-Porn Button


Here’s a video of a speech Romney gave in 2008 — he apparently had this as part of his stump speech for quite some time — saying that he wants to make sure every computer has a magic anti-porn button on them to keep all the dirty thoughts out.

And this was not just an isolated pander. He repeatedly said, “I want to make sure every new computer sold in this country, after I’m president, has installed on it a filter to block all pornography.”

Comments

  1. says

    And yet the sex-workers of Tampa Bay are greatly looking forward to the Republican Convention there in a few weeks time…

  2. oranje says

    Alright, if they get an anti-porn button, I want an anti-Conservative bullshit button.

  3. RickR says

    Alright, if they get an anti-porn button, I want an anti-Conservative bullshit button.

    This x 1,000,000

  4. anteprepro says

    Flash forward to 2014. Opens computer. Sees Anti-Porn button. Presses it once. Computer asks “About to enable Internet porn block. Scan internet sites?”. Clicks okay. All internet browsers disabled. Presses button again. Query: “About to enable Computer porn block. Scan computer files?”. Clicks okay. Computer explodes.

    Thanks, Supreme Overlord Mittens Romnoid!

  5. John Hinkle says

    If there was a porn filter on every computer, I’d write a filter buster and sell it for 99 cents. Probably get platinum status at PayPal in about 7 hours.

  6. Alukonis, metal ninja says

    Is this going to interfere with editing home movies?

    IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN (and I think you do)

  7. slc1 says

    Is there no limit to the stupidity that Romney will stoop to in his fevered quest for the White House?

  8. Doug Little says

    I want to make sure every new computer sold in this country, after I’m president, has installed on it a filter to block all pornography.

    Well, I already format new work computers as soon as they come in and do a fresh install of the OS. It’s amazing how much junk/promotional material is installed on them by default. My home computers I build from scratch and run linux, I wonder what Mitt is gonna do about that. Also that sounds like a pretty remarkable filter. Maybe he means that all new computers won’t have any access to the internet, it’s the only way to be sure.

  9. d cwilson says

    Every computer already has a very effective anti-porn button. It’s called the power switch. Turn off your computer and it can no longer download porn.

    Problem solved.

    Tacitus @1:

    And yet the sex-workers of Tampa Bay are greatly looking forward to the Republican Convention there in a few weeks time…

    The male prostitutes more so than the female ones, I’m sure.

  10. unbound says

    Even Mitt isn’t stupid enough to think this will work. Any chance he’s invested in some filtering software company?

  11. RustD says

    When I use Google, I usually add “-fox”. It filters most, but not all of the propaganda out. It is close to an antibullsh*t button.

  12. says

    An anti-porn button — but not an anti-hate or anti-cyberbullying button? That says a lot about right-wing “values.”

    And you can damn sure bet that Mutt’s anti-porn buton will also block useful factual information about sex, sexuality, birth control, and sexual health.

  13. jaxkayaker says

    tacitus-

    Funny you say that, the strip club that I frequent is remodeling in preparation for the GOP convention. No joke.

  14. Abby Normal says

    He went on to promise, “If I am elected I will put a flying car in every garage and a unicorn in every pot. Money will grow on trees. And the dogs will poop only ice-cream.”

  15. Abby Normal says

    I want to make sure every new computer sold in this country, after I’m president, has installed on it a filter to block all pornography.

    I thought he was against saddling businesses with Big Government(tm) regulations. Could Romney be a secret socialist out to destroy America?

  16. jimmiraybob says

    Government dictating to private manufacturing? There’s a word out there … [pondering expression] …it’s a word that’s been out there a lot lately …[scratches head] …I’m sure it’ll come to me……

    Although, I have faith that the free market will make other private entrepreneurs rich by producing and selling unblocking buttons.

  17. Olav says

    Abby:

    And the dogs will poop only ice-cream.”

    Even if that became true, I would still not eat it…

    I agree with Doug, #11. No computer of mine will ever have software installed on it that I did not install myself.

  18. D. C. Sessions says

    Given that the computers are all made in China, does that mean that all computers in the USA will have Chinese network filters built in?

  19. interrobang says

    I would like to know how big Mitt’s pr0n stash is. I have a 1TB HDD at home I bet the images alone wouldn’t fit on.

  20. Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven says

    I have a 1TB HDD at home I bet the images alone wouldn’t fit on.

    That’s what she said.

  21. Michael Heath says

    It seems to me that God did respond to Mr. Romney’s wish for a magic porn button. But analogous to how God keeps missing the guilty and nailing the innocent with tornadoes and floods, God intervention’s has instead created free porn on the Internet.

  22. tubi says

    I have a 1TB HDD at home I bet the images alone wouldn’t fit on.

    Because it’s already full?

  23. says

    Although, I have faith that the free market will make other private entrepreneurs rich by producing and selling unblocking buttons.

    …after they get rich by producing and selling the blocking buttons. Maybe that’s Romney’s plan for economic recovery?

    Given that the computers are all made in China, does that mean that all computers in the USA will have Chinese network filters built in?

    That would not be at all surprising, since both Capitalist and “Communist” (State-Capitalist) tyrants have the same need to control the flow of information to ordinary people, and the same need to take aggressive action every day to keep dangerous ideas and facts from spreading too rapidly. (Is this a case of Stalinist regimes acting like religions? Or a case of religions acting like Stalinist regimes?)

  24. matty1 says

    I know this is radical but if you don’t want to look at porn don’t look at porn. To the best of my knowledge it isn’t compulsory nor despite the myths is it ubiquitous, it’s hard to get a definitive figure but this (don’t worry the link is to Forbes magazine) suggests its only around around 4% of websites.

    But, I can hear the wail, “Won’t somebody think of the children”, well at the risk of sounding patronising I’d suggest parenting as an answer, either raise kids you trust with a computer or don’t leave them alone with one, and if they are old enough that neither of these is an option they are probably old enough and smart enough to work a way round the filter if they really want to.

    Or we could let officials decide what *legal* activities adult can see pictures or videos of in the privacy of their own homes. Even if it worked, would the benefit really be worth the cost?

    Won’t somebody think of the grown ups?

  25. beezlebubby says

    Ha! Where was I reading earlier this week about a Palin lookalike stripper being booked at a club 3 miles away from the GOP convention center? How’s that poley-dancey thing workin’ for ya?

    Also, when Bain was the owner of Staples, why didn’t they go ahead with their sinister plan to monkey with all the computers they sold and install this mythical button? I wonder if Bain owned them at the same time it owned a fetus disposal machine company? Nothing gets in the way of profit$, does it Mitt?

  26. busterggi says

    Now why would a computer owned by a good god-botherer even need an anti-porn button?

    Surely their faith gives them the strength not to submit to temptation – isn’t god (whatever name he goes by) stronger than porn?

  27. eric says

    That’s pretty much equivalent to saying “I want Dell, Apple, and every other computer company to move their sales divisions overseas.”

  28. ftfkdad says

    “The irony I see: Conservative states tend to be the biggest consumers of porn.”

    I am pretty sure there is some data that shows Utah is the biggest consumer of online porn, as measured by $$-per-person spent in a given year. Makes sense to me!

  29. zmidponk says

    Hmm.

    *sees every computer system has an anti-porn filter*

    *goes to computer shop and buys various computer components*

    *goes home and puts computer together, leaving out the anti-porn filter*

    *laughs at Romney’s utterly pointless and costly legislation*

  30. wholething says

    If pornography can’t be defined, how could anyone write an algorithm that knows it when it sees it?

    I’ve tried increasing the Brightness adjustment on my TV but I can’t get it to filter out reality shows.

  31. TxSkeptic says

    If I recall correctly. the great state of Utah, the heart of Mitt Romney’s Mormonism cult, is one of the top consumers of online porn in the country.

    I guess they are dying to find out what is hidden inside the magic underwear.

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