You may have seen that Florida Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll was recently accused of having a lesbian affair, a charge she answered by declaring that she doesn’t look like a lesbian — because we all know what lesbians must look like, amirite? Doria Roberts, an incredibly talented singer/songwriter from the Atlanta area, has written an open letter to Carroll in the Huffington Post and it’s really amazing to read.
Now, I’m generally a forgiving person and I know I don’t have access to my best self every minute of every day, so I can understand how some of the things you said may have been said under duress as opposed to a deep-seated, polarizing and misguided hate for a group of people you don’t even know. I mean, Peter denied Jesus three times. And that was Jesus!
But as I’ve said, I could only understand some of the things you said.
Please do not confuse my compassion with acceptance.
When I heard the quote “Black women who look like me don’t usually engage in those type of relationships (meaning lesbian relationships)” attributed to you as a defense, my first and only thought was “No.” Really, just that. No. I wasn’t going to allow yet another public figure to offer my life up as a whipping post to absorb their public flogging — especially one who looked like me.
Yes, despite what you think, Lt. Gov. Carroll, you do look like me…
We (i.e. lesbians of color, queer women of color and black lesbians in particular) are already shouldering epically disproportionate concerns about our visibility without folks like you adding to the load. We are living in a society that almost pathologically refuses to acknowledge our existence… that is, until our existence is perceived as a threat.
Well, I am here to tell you that we are not a threat. Furthermore, we are not your problem. We are your sisters and your belief that we do not look like you has no bearing on the irrefutable fact that you do indeed look like us, whether that “look” is butch, femme, stud, punk, prep or otherwise.
When you say or do things that dehumanize me, you dehumanize yourself. Know that.
I met Doria Roberts several years ago when she came to Michigan to perform with my friend Vinx. She blew me away with her talent. Here’s a great example, one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard.
7 comments
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slc1
July 26, 2012 at 11:52 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Gee, what do lesbians look like? I don’t know what Afro-American lesbians look like but examples like Hollywood actors Elizabeth Scott, Barbara Stanwyck, and Meredith Baxter don’t look any different then other Hollywood female actors.
Marcus Ranum
July 26, 2012 at 12:07 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
My first thought was “what does George Takei have to say about this?”
d cwilson
July 26, 2012 at 12:35 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Marcus @2:
I hope his response involves a Youtube clip and repeated use of the word “douchebag”.
Tabby Lavalamp
July 26, 2012 at 12:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I honestly misread her name as Doris Roberts (of Everybody Loves Raymond fame), so there was some initial confusion as I was reading.
Dez
July 26, 2012 at 1:21 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The governor was very insulting to LGBT women of color. I’m a bi black woman with my own style. The way she said her comment made me feel like she thinks she is better than me and other LGBT of color. We come in all shapes, sizes, and complexions. We are your neighbors, friends, family, and coworkers. There’s no LGBT scarlet “A” to tell us apart from everyone else.
Trickster Goddess
July 26, 2012 at 9:50 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
If the Lt. Gov. wants to know what a lesbian looks like, she can just do what I do: Look in the mirror.
mithandir
July 27, 2012 at 5:37 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
What bothers me is that apparently being a lesbian is considered more severe than having an affair.
Now I personally don’t think that it’s really our business if an elected official is unfaithful, but at least a case can be made that cheating on your spouse raises questions about your honesty whereas I can’t see any relevance in knowing somebody’s sexual preference. I only found out our new prime minister here in Belgium was gay after some foreign websites made a big fuss about it.