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Willard Arrested for Pulling a Pee Wee

Fred Willard, the incredibly funny character actor best known for roles in most of the Christopher Guest films (and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, we probably aren’t going to get along very well), has been arrested pulling a Pee Wee Herman at a porno theater in Hollywood.

Fred Willard was caught with his pants down in a movie theater Wednesday evening and arrested for “lewd conduct,” according to TMZ.

The “This Is Spinal Tap” actor visited the Tiki Theater, an adult movie theater in Hollywood, where he was spotted by authorities with his “penis exposed and in his hand.” The 72-year-old “Anchorman” actor was arrested at 8:45 p.m. and released from police custody not long after.

Cue the inevitable jokes. But how absurd is this? What did they think went on at a porno theater? It’s a designated deviant zone, leave them alone. It’s not like a group of school kids are taking field trips there. Besides, the guy is 72 years old and brilliantly funny. Let him wank it wherever he wants.

One of the amusing stories from my stand up career happened the morning after Pee Wee Herman was arrested for the same thing in Florida. I was being interviewed early that morning by some terrible morning DJs at a crappy station in Lansing to promote a benefit show we were doing for a homeless shelter at the local comedy club and they asked me what I thought about the story. I hadn’t heard about it yet, so the guy starts reading an article about it out of the newspaper.

So I said, “I just wonder what movie he was seeing, because they always take regular movie titles and give them a porno spin. It was probably Field of Creams — if you suck it, they will cum.” The DJ got all nervous and said, “We’re live on the air right now.” Oops. Don’t throw me that pitch if you don’t want me to hit it out of the park.

Comments

  1. Trebuchet says

    I’m a little surprised they even still HAVE porno theaters! I’d assumed they were all put out of business by video, 20 or 30 years ago.

  2. says

    I just don’t understand this… isn’t this what porn is for? What were they expecting someone to be doing while watching films of naked people having explicit sex?

  3. busterggi says

    Did the police have to use force to remove him from the theater, because those floors get awfully sticky, so I’m told.

    BTW, just why were the authorities there anyway as apparently no one had called them in?

    And can any HPL fans out there please tell me if there really was a film made titled ‘In the Muff of Madness’ because I’ve spent years trying to find it.

  4. DemetriusOfPharos says

    Willard Arrested for Pulling a Pee Wee

    Cue the inevitable jokes.

    What’s the use? You already used the best double entendre available.

  5. Gregory in Seattle says

    Too little caffeine. I meant to write: “Was it his own Willard or someone else’s Pee Wee.”

  6. alanb says

    BTW, just why were the authorities there anyway as apparently no one had called them in?

    There is a sign outside the theater warning patrons that the vice squad makes regular inspections of the premises. This is authorized by municipal ordinance.

  7. machintelligence says

    From a Robin Williams PLAYBOY interview:

    PLAYBOY: There were a lot of dick jokes made at Pee-wee Herman’s expense after he got busted for allegedly fondling himself in an adult theater. What did you think of all the fuss that was made about that?

    WILLIAMS: It was insane. And really frightening. It goes back to the days of Fatty Arbuckle. People forget that. Disney and CBS immediately dropping his stuff. Wait a minute, he’s not been proved guilty, what are you doing? Even if it was true-exposure for masturbation-it’s like being busted for loitering in a Buddhist monastery.

    That pretty well sums it up.

  8. d cwilson says

    Cut the guy some slack. He’s 72. A lot of senior citizens aren’t up on all the latest tech. Maybe he didn’t realize that you can download all the wank material you could ever need right in the privacy of you own home.

  9. hanchman says

    Looking at IMDB just now, I noticed that he’s rumored to be in a new movie The Yank. You just can’t make this stuff up.

  10. slc1 says

    Re Larry @ #13

    Depending on the exact location of the theater, he might have been arrested by the LAPD or the LA County sheriff’s department. Some of the area is in the city and some is in the county.

  11. Michael Heath says

    Mr. Willard has had the privilege of playing a very rarely portrayed conservative Christian character. That’d be his recurring guest role in the TV sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond.

  12. Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven says

    “Man arrested for masturbating to porn” sounds like an Onion headline.

  13. Abby Normal says

    Incidentally, Paul Reubens, more often known as Pee-Wee Herman, was watching Nurse Nancy at the time of his unfortunate ipsecoitus interruptus. I don’t know what Fred Willard was watching, but he says it was lousy. The theater was presenting a triple feature that evening, Follow Me 2, Step Dad No. 2 and a porn parody of The Client List.

  14. gingerbaker says

    Fred Willard first caught my eye as the hysterically stupid but well-meaning Jerry Hubbard on the brilliant Fernwood Tonight show, which later ‘went national’ as the America 2Night show. Martin Mull played Barth Gimble, the talk show host, with Jerry as his sidekick.

    Really, really funny stuff which has unfortunately disappeared through the cracks – it seems impossible to purchase or download more than a bare handful of those many episodes.

  15. Crudely Wrott says

    Any honest porn cinema should pass out paper towels and HandiWipes.
    I mean, sheesh, what else?
    Leave old masturbaters alone. They’re just trying to recapture golden moments or yore.
    Who doesn’t remember and yearn?

  16. says

    I think Fred Willard is the opposite of funny, but that’s not the point. The point is that porn theaters are for jacking it, and not jacking it would be the real crime. And since he was in Los Angeles, it really makes me wonder at police priorities.

  17. grendelsfather says

    I read where the DA was going to drop the charges because she was afraid it wouldn’t stand up in court.

  18. says

    It’s a designated deviant zone, leave them alone.

    Wow, Ed passed moral judgement on another person’s sexual behavior and no one even noticed. Normally, he’d be branded a bigot for such beliefs.

  19. Michael Heath says

    JD walks into another punch:

    Ed passed moral judgement on another person’s sexual behavior and no one even noticed. Normally, he’d be branded a bigot for such beliefs.

    What Ed didn’t do was argue that what he flippantly describes as deviant behavior justifies persecuting and denying those people their equal rights like you advocate. You’re not only a cowardly traiter to your country, but an idiotic cowardly traiter.

  20. dingojack says

    machintelligence – Robin Williams: ‘…It goes back to the days of Fatty Arbuckle. People forget that. Disney and CBS immediately dropping his stuff”.

    I never knew Fatty Arbuckle was signed up by Disney and CBS. Did they leand the time machine (and mind control device) to President Obama in twenty years time?

    Dingo

  21. stace says

    My favorite play on a real movie porn title is…

    Star Whores
    Forrest Rump
    Drilling Miss Daisy

  22. says

    I used to work in a video store in Ohio that kept these behind the counter. My favorite titles were “On Golden Blonde” and “Mad Jack Beyond Thunderbone”. I was disappointed when I finally watched one that the movies themselves were not nearly as clever as the titles.

  23. birgerjohansson says

    Ichthyic, Modusoperandi

    Old Beavis and Butt-Head episode:
    (a nursing home 70 years from now)
    Interviewer: “You have lived long lives. What is the most remarkable thing you remember?”

    Butt-Head: “We saw nude people once!”
    Beavis: “Huh uh-huh huh huh”

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