A teenager from near Ft. Worth, Texas has performed the impressive but entirely pointless feat of carrying — well, pulling on wheels — a 12-foot cross all the way to Washington, DC, stopping at the White House to offer some meaningless tripe about returning America to the roots they mistakenly think it had.
The church had gathered to watch 19-year old Junior Garcia finish a cross-bearing pilgrimage to Washington, D.C., The congregation of Oasis watched over the internet.
Finally, there was the face of Garcia on the screen as he leaned against a 12-foot long cross. “I can’t wait to get back home to all of you at the Oasis Church,” he told the congregation via the internet. “And I just wanted to share this with you.”
Garcia began his journey in early June in Fort Worth. He has carried his cross along highways and back roads almost every day since.
“I felt God put this in my heart, and it’s something I felt so strong about, to just pick up my cross and carry it,” Garcia said.
Two small wheels on the bottom of the cross allowed Garcia to carry his burden on his shoulders along the shoulder of the roads during the journey…
“I’m speechless right now, standing here in front of The White House,” Garcia told a television photographer in Washington, “I’m amazed that he gave me the strength to make it. God is good. And this nation’s attention will be brought back to the cross and brought back to Jesus Christ and we will be one nation under God again.”
No it won’t. It will make your fellow fundies think you’re wonderful; it will do little else.
53 comments
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mythbri
July 18, 2012 at 1:38 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
What, so God gets the credit for our achievements but not the blame for our mistakes? That seems like a rotten system to me. Good thing I’m not religious.
Blondin
July 18, 2012 at 1:49 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
BFD.
Now if they nailed him to his cross when he got there, buried him in the Rose Garden, and on the third day he rose from his grave, THAT would be an act! Top that, Blaine!
DaveL
July 18, 2012 at 1:50 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Wouldn’t it have been great if the interviewer had followed up with “…and when that manifestly fails to happen, what then?”
d cwilson
July 18, 2012 at 1:53 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
mythbri@:
I always wondered why no football player ever blamed Jesus when he fumbled.
Do you think his fundie church expected the sight of a giant cross in front of the White House would drive the evilkenyanatheistmuslim out?
percysowner
July 18, 2012 at 1:57 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Actually what I have seen is God gets the credit for the achievements and Satan gets blamed for the mistakes. I knew a fundamentalist who said this all the time. I swear, she was never personally responsible for ANYTHING she did. It was always God or the Devil, never her.
eric
July 18, 2012 at 1:59 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
God gives teen strength to walk from Texas to DC in about 6 weeks. Okay, I agree, that’s pretty impressive.
Science gives us an airplane that makes the trip in just under 6 hours. Thats 168x as impressive.
ebotebo
July 18, 2012 at 2:04 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Fupid Stool (Stupid Fool)
erichoug
July 18, 2012 at 2:07 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
When I was in College there was some guy that used to go around to college Campuses with a simlar cross telling us all that we were going to hell for going to college and if we had any brains like we thought we had we would drop out and spend out lives studying the Bible and praying.
He was nuckin futs but this kids just seems like an idiotic tool.
Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)
July 18, 2012 at 2:14 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It’s amazing when you think about what would have happened if he’d brought some other historical execution device, like, say, a gallows tree complete with noose.
Bronze Dog
July 18, 2012 at 2:17 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I briefly read about this earlier on Fark. The apparent commentator consensus was that the kid’s just out for attention. I’d say so. Why not do something productive?
“Did this story get the ‘stupid’ tag because he’s a Christian?”
“No, it got the stupid tag because he’s stupid.”
Strewth
July 18, 2012 at 2:28 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Or would it have been covered by the news at all if he’d carried a shrine of Brahma?
Tyrant al-Kalām
July 18, 2012 at 2:32 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes. The knowledge that he could have shown so much better how much he loves Jesus by using an 18 foot cross must be haunting him in his sleep. I mean, seriously, there is nothing that says “Meh, I don’t love Him that much that I would try to carry an 18 foot cross to D.C.” like carrying a mere 12 foot cross to D.C.
magistramarla
July 18, 2012 at 2:33 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I heard an interview this morning of an Olympic marathon runner who was saying that “gawd” is his coach and attributes all of his accomplishments to him. What an insult to his real and obviously talented coaches!
timpayne
July 18, 2012 at 2:36 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Just as I was thinking that 40 miles per day hauling a cross is pretty impressive walking, I sensed that Rosie Ruiz smell all around me. Sure enough, I look around a little and find that
Garcia, who was accompanied by his father, Pastor Lemme, and several others on his nationwide trek, did much of his walking on highways with heavy traffic. When legs of his journey became too risky due to traffic, Garcia and his group used a van to get to a safer location before the teen continued on foot.
Kind of like claiming to do the Appalachian trail, but getting rides over the mountainy parts.
eric
July 18, 2012 at 2:45 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@9;
I-40 goes through Arkansas, then Tennessee, then Virginia. So my guess is he would’ve gotten more offers for free pickup truck rides.
Akira MacKenzie
July 18, 2012 at 2:53 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
mythbri @ 1
What, so God gets the credit for our achievements but not the blame for our mistakes?
Mistakes? Silly godless liberal, AMERICA NEVER MAKES MISTAKES!!! Slavery and genocide agains Native Americans? They should be happy we brought them to Jesus. Women’s rights? They were actually doing just fine until those uppity lesbo Femi-Nazis ( or is it Femi-Stasi now?) came along! Immoral wars? No war is immoral and no amount of civilian casualities is too high when America’s armed forces are fighting commies and terrorists!
God never lets America make mistakes!
Leo
July 18, 2012 at 3:00 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
timpayne @14
I had a suspicion he made it to D.C. a bit too quickly for dragging a cross around (even if it had wheels). Google Maps puts the route at 19 days walking. And that’s 24-hour days, so if one walked for 8 hours each day, that would be 57 days.
Thanks for showing my suspicion to be true.
Matrim
July 18, 2012 at 3:11 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’d be impressed if they’d actually carried a cross rather than towing it. That aside, it’s not even that big a deal by Christian standards. People make crucifix pilgrimages all the time all over the world.
d cwilson
July 18, 2012 at 3:15 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Insert joke about Mark Sanford’s mistress here.
If he really wanted to impress people, he should have done what some Christians in the Philipines have done and actually nailed his ass to the cross.
Randide, Mangeons du jesuite
July 18, 2012 at 3:17 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Actually…
Larry
July 18, 2012 at 3:28 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Just think, he could have spent that month helping out at the food center or a day care center, or a cancer hospice.
Instead, he chose to do something productive. The sad thing is this will probably be the highlight of his life.
Randide, Mangeons du jesuite
July 18, 2012 at 3:35 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
And a sadder thing is that this will probably be the highlight of the lives of a few people who had nothing at all to do with it other than read about it.
hexidecima
July 18, 2012 at 3:55 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
timpayne’s quote is excellent
“Garcia, who was accompanied by his father, Pastor Lemme, and several others on his nationwide trek, did much of his walking on highways with heavy traffic. When legs of his journey became too risky due to traffic, Garcia and his group used a van to get to a safer location before the teen continued on foot.”
ah, all of that “trust in Jesus”. I guess Jesus can’t do much about “heavy traffic”. Christians, always with needing the help of man-made objects to deal with traffic, cure diseases, etc. Jesus doesn’t do much against a tractor-trailer or flesh eating bacteria.
Jasper of Maine (I feel safe and welcome at FTB)
July 18, 2012 at 4:31 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Welp, I’m convinced. Off to find Jesus!
John Hinkle
July 18, 2012 at 4:46 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Holy shit that’s some goddamn stupid. It would’ve been stupid to carry it to the County Seat, let alone across the country to the White House. And where did he get “his” cross? Was it one of a pair of clothesline posts? Was it part of a garden trellis? Did he construct it for this vainglorious journey? If so, will he re-purpose it as one of a pair of clothesline posts?
dave
July 18, 2012 at 5:21 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Well its well known that the Lord has trouble with chariots of iron, so I imagine he pretty useless against vehicles of steel.
JohnnieCanuck
July 18, 2012 at 6:00 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
He sure makes those four by fours look light, just the way they bounce along on his shoulders. Hollow, maybe?
A cynic like me might think that most of the time he was actually bearing it was when cameras were near or he was passing through settlements.
Forty miles a day for forty days. It’s almost biblical the way the numbers worked out. That is to say, unbelievable.
Modusoperandi
July 18, 2012 at 6:01 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I can’t believe that this page is 26 comments in an nobody has pointed out that the kid, “Junior Garcia”, is two characters from Reno 911.
Tony aka The Psychic Octopus [safe and welcome at FtB]
July 18, 2012 at 6:44 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
percysowner:
Which is still dumb, given that God created Satan, and he had the omniscience to know everything Satan would do.
Tony aka The Psychic Octopus [safe and welcome at FtB]
July 18, 2012 at 6:49 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
And given how stupid he was for doing this task in the first place, he may have been dumb enough to get into a vehicle with a complete stranger. Imagine if they had a cross hanging from the rearview mirror? That is assurance that that person is as wholesome as apple pie.
Tony aka The Psychic Octopus [safe and welcome at FtB]
July 18, 2012 at 6:51 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Jasper:
Pick one:
I just flushed him down the toilet.
or
He and Mo’ are part of an art project (still life, perhaps).
WMDKitty (Always growing and learning)
July 18, 2012 at 7:37 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Dumbass kid…
imthegenieicandoanything
July 18, 2012 at 7:58 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Likely enough, this sad, screwed-up kid managed to perfectly mimic what Jesus REALLY did: the scourging and nailing up and crown o’ thorns are just exaggerations of the sort “believers” always make.
Jesus probably pulled a lightweight “cross” on a wheel to Jerusalem and make some minor, embarrassing scene, that turned into a religion because Mark and Matthew saw money in the publishing rights and Peter thought the guy was damn hot-looking! Then he got run over by a caravan of asses.
I meaan, “he arose after three days and flied to heb’ben! So you should kill muslims and atheists and Jews (wait! Jews are off the list at the moment, aren’t they?) and feel guilty when you masturbate,” etc.
Pull the other one!
thegarbageman
July 18, 2012 at 8:06 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I wonder if that kid put his time and energy into something useful what he could have done. Maybe next time do the walk over with a donation box to doctors without borders or anouther good charity.
democommie
July 19, 2012 at 12:02 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
At the age of 19 my heart was not filled with the spirit, but my mind was squirming with lust for pussy, beer and anything else that the church said was bad for me.
A cross on fucking wheels? WTF, son, JESUS don’t need no motherfuckin’ walker!
I gotta go along with a couple of other posters here who are saying, ahem, BULLSHIT! carrying, or even towing, that thing for a few miles would wear a lot of people right the fuck out. So, one more time, LYING to spread the LARD’s truth.
StevoR
July 19, 2012 at 12:21 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Well it did give him some fresh air and excercise, that’s something. Not much sure but something.
So this kid walking (some of the way anyhow) means the USA will scrap the first amendment in its constitution? Plus convert or expel all those who believe in other non-Christian faiths such as Judaism, Hinduism and Moronism?
Yeah right.
Um, has it worked? (Looks around, sees no sign of change in the USA.)
StevoR
July 19, 2012 at 12:23 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
PS. Haven’t other people done this kind of thing before too?
rickdesper
July 19, 2012 at 12:41 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
He would need to be doing about 40 miles/day to do this distance in the time cited. Dragging a cross, you’d expect him not to be going faster than 3 miles/hour. So that makes for about 13 hours/day.
But that’s a bit too simplistic. I’m glossing over the energy limitations here. Good hikers might aim to do 25-30 miles/day, if they were experienced, fit, and carrying a light pack. I’m just not seeing a high school kid walking 40 miles/day towing a heavy cross.
Let me rephrase this: this kid has allegedly done 1.5 marathons per day, lugging a 12′ cross. Smells fishy.
rickdesper
July 19, 2012 at 1:12 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@28 modusoperandi
You win the thread.
brian
July 19, 2012 at 2:31 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Blessed are the self-aggrandizing, for they shall inherit the book deals and the talk show slots.
dingojack
July 19, 2012 at 3:11 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Zinc Avenger (#9) – Being ‘Junior’* is from Texas and all…
:( Dingo
—–
* Is his dad called ‘senior’ even though his real name is Bubba?
puppygod
July 19, 2012 at 4:20 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Meh. I’ve once met a guy who made it through all Eurasia – from the friggin Kamchatka all the way to Portugal on bicycle. Alone.
I’ll have to admit, that stunt did made me a little of the Shimano worshipper.
Tyrant al-Kalām
July 19, 2012 at 5:43 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
There is an opportunity for a great Onion article in this story somewhere.
Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort
July 19, 2012 at 7:20 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
That’s nothing. Tomorrow I plan on lugging a 20-foot wide plate of spaghetti and meatballs to the White House. When there, I’ll turn to the cameras and say:
Tyrant al-Kalām
July 19, 2012 at 7:39 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@Katherine,
great, now I’m hungry!
Mmmh, spaghetti…
carlie
July 19, 2012 at 9:41 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
No, the two small wheels allowed him to lean the burden on his shoulders, while the majority of the weight was carried by the wheels. Physics, they no has it.
longstreet63
July 19, 2012 at 10:23 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Wow, you know that Jesus guy was such a wimp. He only carried his a couple of miles, and traffic was very light.
Does that mean Junior Garcia is God now?
If so, I presume the new formulation is “Father, Son, Holy Ghost, and Junior” but how far would I have to tow a cross to get to have always been God?
It is possible there is some other requirement.
However, I want to point out that Junior is, days after carrying his cross to its destination, still alive, thus clearly better at this than Jesus, who reputedly spent at least some of that time dead.
Modusoperandi
July 19, 2012 at 11:50 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
rickdesper “@28 modusoperandi You win the thread.”
Obviously. I can’t help having such deep insights, since I’m all cultured and shit.
harold
July 19, 2012 at 3:50 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It’s about Jesus, and has nothing to do with the presidential election, of course.
Or maybe he means it as a gesture of support for mainstream Christian Obama against Mormon Romney.
It surely couldn’t be some kind of crass implication that Obama isn’t a “real Christian”, or anything of that sort…
billydee
July 19, 2012 at 4:24 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Arthur Blessit has been wheeling his cross across the world for over twenty years now. And the world is so much the better for it. (Rolls eyes.)
Pierce R. Butler
July 19, 2012 at 5:46 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“I’m speechless right now…”
He said, beginning his speech.
jnorris
July 20, 2012 at 7:22 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
timpayne, hexidecima, and others, please. Heavy traffic = cars and trucks = iron chariots. We all know God is powerless against Detroit (and others) iron.
bmiller
July 23, 2012 at 8:21 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Puppygod @42:
HERETIC! CAMPAGNOLO is The Way, The Truth, and The Light!