Linda Nelson has a lot of letters after her name. Her bio: “CHom, NCTMB, is a member of NASH, NCH, AMTA. Linda graduated from Homeopathy School of Colorado, which is now Homeopathy School International.” Which explains why she’s saying staggeringly stupid things like this:
Have you been struggling with chronic problems over the years and nothing seems to be getting any better? This is where the beauty of homeopathy excels; however, you have to have the patience to work with a qualified Classical Homeopathic Practitioner who has years of experience…
The best way to find your constitutional remedy is to have a thorough intake visit to see which remedy most resembles your body, emotions and mental picture.
You could use that to fertilize a garden. And there’s more:
This is when homeopathy works so well because it is not one remedy for everyone it is for you specifically and your symptom picture which encompasses your mental, emotional and physical situation. Let me give you a few examples: Your immune system is low and you keep manifesting cysts, polyps, tumors, herpes outbreaks, etc., and you are wondering where all this is coming from since your sex life has been limited.
These symptoms may not be coming from you and your life experiences, they may be coming from your family history that no one wanted to talk about because it was too embarrassing. We also need to remember two things: Males rarely show symptoms of Chlamydia and Chlamydia is on the rise nationwide. One of the remedies that we have to look at is Chlamydium which is taken from a person who has Chlamydia. Why would we want to put such a horrible disease into our body? The body will kick out the disease that is vibrating at a lower vibration to help balance itself. This is the same theory as vaccinations.
Uh, no. It’s not. One would have to be either deluded or a con (wo)man to talk about diseases “vibrating at a lower vibration.”

26 comments
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richardelguru
July 17, 2012 at 10:42 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“Classical Homeopathic Practitioner”
Surely Baroque Homeopathic Practice has much better fugal states.
timgueguen
July 17, 2012 at 10:46 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Remember, folks, a properly prepared homeopathic “remedy” consists of water, with no active ingredient. You’re paying someone to give you water.
Blondin
July 17, 2012 at 10:51 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
She forgot to mention the poo-bombs.
Gregory in Seattle
July 17, 2012 at 10:55 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Same thing.
theschwa
July 17, 2012 at 10:58 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“Classical Homeopathic Practitioner”
I prefer a Modern Homeopathic Practitioner. Technology today allows us to get homeopathic cures to 99.999999999999% water!
matty1
July 17, 2012 at 11:00 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
If you have herpes or chlamydia as a result of your family history (does she mean infection at birth?). Please, please seek actual medical treatment both for yourself and the other family members concerned.
Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)
July 17, 2012 at 11:13 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The come to us – Nothing is our specialty!
usingreason
July 17, 2012 at 11:20 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Wow, just wow. The new ‘vibration’ theory of disease sounds amazing. Please, may I give you my money; I’m gonna go out on a limb and call her an evil bitch. Nobody can be so deluded as to think that actually works and recommend it to people as legitimate health care.
DaveL
July 17, 2012 at 11:25 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Homeopathy: It’s just like vaccination, only stupid.
garyb
July 17, 2012 at 11:29 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I have a 3 month old grandson who just started to teethe. We were babysitting the little guy over the weekend and he started getting fussy so I made the trip to the local Walmart to pick up some Anbesol for his gums. They didn’t have any Anbesol but they did have Orajel which is a similar product, or so I thought. In a move that is out of character for me I decided to read the label. The baby version of Orajel is a frikkin homeopathic remedy shaken and stirred to 12x.
I could have taken that shit home, applied it to the little guy’s gums and then wondered all frikkin day why it didn’t help. What the hell is a supposedly serious company doing putting out such crap?
dingojack
July 17, 2012 at 11:29 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ok Ed here’s where I offically begin my meme:
“Jesus! [facepalm]“!
Dingo
scienceavenger
July 17, 2012 at 11:30 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
As a former alternative medical professional, I suggest always watching out for these bullshit indicator words: balance, energy, toxins, natural, and allopathic. The person spewing this nonsense is either an idiot or a con man. If you are feeling snarky (as I often am), demand objective definitions of these terms, and watch the mad equivocation dance.
oranje
July 17, 2012 at 11:34 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Have they done for the vibration thing after watching a five minute interview with Brian Greene about String Theory? Sounds like the right kind of logic.
Also, the idea to look at family history for STDs is marvelously awful.
Abby Normal
July 17, 2012 at 11:37 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Re: richardelguru @1
You have a point. The somewhat more modern romantic practitioners have too many idiosyncrasies.
garyb
July 17, 2012 at 11:39 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“Linda Nelson has a lot of letters after her name”
She’s missing a couple; DERP and DUFUS.
Kevin
July 17, 2012 at 11:41 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Herpes is a virus. There are several different types. The most prominent characteristic of all herpesvirus types is that once you’re infected, you’re infected forever. The virus may go dormant for a little while (or a long while), but then may reactivate without warning.
Herpes Type 1 is primarily responsible for cold sores. You don’t get a cold sore every week. You get them once in a while. Your immune system suppresses the virus. Some antiviral drugs and creams help.
Herpes Type 2 is primarily responsible for genital lesions (“dew on a rose petal” is the clinical mnemonic). Some antiviral drugs help; and people who get a lot of outbreaks may feel better taking antiviral meds prophylactically. But there’s no cure.
If you’ve ever had a case of the chicken pox, you’re infected with herpes. Reactivation of the herpes zoster virus results in shingles. This can be quite painful. Get a shingles vaccine when you turn 50. Antiviral meds can help with shingles pain, but is not a panacea.
There are other types of herpes viruses that cause disease, often in immune compromised persons (a friend of mine is currently waging a battle with CMV after a kidney transplant).
Not one of these viruses responds to water therapy.
Linda Nelson is a quack. A dangerous quack.
yoav
July 17, 2012 at 11:49 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
A little woo to english translation.
Translate: I’m buying a new house so you should make repeat, billable, appointments at the end of which I will give you a glass of water and tell you that you feel better.
Translate: This is my get out of jail free card, I will use this to explain why it’s your fault that the magic water don’t work because you just didn’t believe hard enough.
Translate: I went to Hogwarts instead of to a real school so I have no fukcing idea about the difference between infectious diseases and cancer so I’ll just throw some buzzwords and hope you’re gullible enough to give me money.
d cwilson
July 17, 2012 at 12:34 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Get your own customized glass of water right here!
This reminds me another field of quackery I’ve encountered in my professional life: Ozonators. People will sell these as the solution to killing everything from mold spores to bacteria to mites in your home. And it does it by pumping out ozone, a dangerous lung irritant. Yes, in sufficient quantities, it will kill mold spores by oxidizing them, but it will also oxidize the lining of your lungs. This is why the EPA issues ozone warnings on smoggy days.
But don’t worry, the ozone put out by the ozonators is a different, magical kind of “good” ozone that is totally different from the “bad” ozone put out by power plants and car exhaust.
Ozone is three oxygen atoms joined together. The molecule doesn’t give a shit whether it came out of your tailpipe or the magical ozonator. And when it encounters an organic molecule, it doesn’t give a rat’s ass whether that molecule is part of a mold spore or your lungs. It will oxydize it.
richardelguru
July 17, 2012 at 12:44 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Kevin’s post: I have to ask, is the existence of Type 1 and Type 2 considered evidence for ancient oral sex?
Sorry just had to ask.
democommie
July 17, 2012 at 12:56 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“Homeopathy: It’s just like vaccination, only it might result in your not getting REAL treatment that may help you.”
Sorry, that needed tweaking.
ah58
July 17, 2012 at 1:14 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Garyb @10 “The baby version of Orajel is a frikkin homeopathic remedy shaken and stirred to 12x. ”
The baby Orajel that I found on Walmart’s page had benzocaine as the active ingredient.
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Baby-Orajel-For-Teething-Cherry-Flavored-Gel-Oral-Pain-Reliever/14520424#Ingredients
Going or Orajel’s site they also sell a “natural” version that has clove extract as its active ingredient.
While I admit my Google-fu may have failed me, I couldn’t find anything homeopathic on either site.
JustaTech
July 17, 2012 at 1:21 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@ richardelguru: Well, HSV1 and HSV2 (herpes simplex virus 1 and 2) are different strains of herpes. They used to be “oral” and “genital” until researchers realized that you could get either one in either place. (I’m not sure but I think there are other types of HSV. The herpes lab was next door to the HIV lab I worked in. No on wanted to share our lunch table.)
So the answer to your question is “sort of”.
Sastra
July 17, 2012 at 1:50 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I just got back from TAM. Sunday, I took a “cold reading” workshop given by Ray Hyman. The above sounds like a lovely example of patter to set the stage. Make them feel as if they’re the most important part of the team: they will then do the mental work to make the reading fit.
usingreason #8 wrote:
You’re an optimist.
Modusoperandi
July 17, 2012 at 2:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Pah! I ground up a “Classical Homeopathic Practitioner who has years of experience”, mixed him in with an olympic-size swimming pool’s worth of water, sampled that, shook it and drank it. Now I’m a million times more experter than even the greatest “Classical Homeopathic Practitioner who has years of experience”!
Kneel before me and tremble! Moo ha-ha!
Nibi
July 17, 2012 at 10:09 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
OMFG!
Phewww…
Look, the local smack dealer was out of junk – what was I to do?
Now that’s just silly. Trust me.
Nibi, BS, MS, BFD, MoMOD
wscott
July 17, 2012 at 11:51 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Science Based medicine just had a thorough debunking of the notion that homeopathy is more effective because it’s more “individualized.” Not that many here need to be convinced…
http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/index.php/testing-the-individualization-of-cam-treatments/