Wingnut evangelist Bill Keller has been campaigning to get people not to vote for either Obama or Romney but to write in the name of Jesus instead. And he says he has 200,000 people pledging to do that on election day in November.
Bill Keller, the world’s leading Internet Evangelist and the founder of LivePrayer.com, with over 2.4 million subscribers worldwide reading the daily devotional he has written every morning for 13 years on the issues of the day from a Biblical worldview, reports over 200,000 people have already signed up to write in the name of Jesus for President this November.
Keller launched a sister website in mid-May, www.votingforjesus.com, that encourages people to sign up and commit to write in the name of Jesus for President this November, and expects to see over 1 million signed up by the time of the election. In an exclusive interview with the Christian Post, he said, “A Christian is faced with a difficult dilemma this November. It is literally Satan flipping a two-headed coin with his head on both sides. How can a Christian in good conscience vote for President Obama, who has proven to be the most pro-baby killing, pro-radical homosexual, pro-enemy of Israel President in our nation’s history.”
Keller continues, “On the other hand, how can a Christian in good conscience vote for Mitt Romney, a 5th generation member and priest of the Satanic Mormon cult. His Presidency would give his cult the mainstream acceptance they have always wanted since being founded 200 years ago by a documented con-artist, racist, pedophile, polygamist, and murderer named Joseph Smith. Conservative estimates are that Romney’s cult will add at least 1 million converts in the US alone. For a Christian, that means 1 million souls who will buy into a false Gospel and burn in hell for all eternity!”
I strongly encourage this, of course.
45 comments
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roggg
July 12, 2012 at 11:39 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Personally, I think this is a great idea. In fact I suggest all members of the religious right do exactly this.
daved
July 12, 2012 at 11:39 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I would think that if those people really do write Jesus in, this would have to help Obama. I can’t imagine that most such people would vote for a Democratic candidate. On the other hand, maybe otherwise they weren’t going to vote anyway, so it would make no difference.
Larry
July 12, 2012 at 11:41 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Jesus? I heard he was born in the middle east somewheres. Lets see his long form birth certificate.
Randomfactor
July 12, 2012 at 11:41 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The votes won’t count unless they spell his name right, though.
In Aramaic.
On the other hand, maybe otherwise they weren’t going to vote anyway, so it would make no difference.
Might make a difference downticket, though, in that case.
dingojack
July 12, 2012 at 11:41 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Finally the massive, organised voter fraud the right’s been looking for (and not finding)!
:) Dingo
——
PS: And Jesus isn’t a natural-born citizen either! Double Plus UNGOOD.
Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)
July 12, 2012 at 11:49 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Finally, a candidate that makes Romney look real.
Gregory in Seattle
July 12, 2012 at 11:49 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I wonder…. How many of the Talibangelicals who will vote for Jesus are also birthers?
When Jesus releases his long form birth certificate, proving that he is a natural born citizen of the United States, I would be happy to add my vote. Not until then.
steve oberski
July 12, 2012 at 11:55 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Why would they vote for a Puerto Rican baseball player ?
dingojack
July 12, 2012 at 11:57 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
You realise if only 20 million people get out to vote they’ll command a whole 1% of the vote (if even less vote they might get even higher)!
My advice: vote early and often.
Dingo
tubi
July 12, 2012 at 12:00 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@4,
And use the correct font type and size, of course.
Kevin
July 12, 2012 at 12:00 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Well, I’m pretty sure Jesus wouldn’t qualify to be President.
But I’d have to see his long-form birth certificate to be sure.
Kevin
July 12, 2012 at 12:01 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
And of course, someone beat me to that punch.
Oh well, had to be said.
Rawnaeris
July 12, 2012 at 12:06 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@Steve, you beat me to it.
If they don’t put a surname, does that mean that everyone worth the name Jesus would be president?
Rawnaeris
July 12, 2012 at 12:07 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Typo, sorry. With, not worth.
Randomfactor
July 12, 2012 at 12:11 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I think one of these three people might accept the job:
http://www.zabasearch.com/people/jesus-christ/
pough
July 12, 2012 at 12:14 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It would be pretty amazing if right after your first African American president you get your first Latino president!
Reginald Selkirk
July 12, 2012 at 12:15 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
There’s a losing proposition. ‘Jesus’ is the greekified version of it; in Aramaic it would be something like Yeshua.
daved
July 12, 2012 at 12:17 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
There were about 135 million votes cast in the 2008 election, so a million votes (if they managed to get that many write-ins) is a pretty small fraction of that. But in the swing states, even a few thousand votes could make a big difference.
I don’t know, though — how difficult is it to do a write-in vote? I seem to recall that it’s not always trivial, you need to ask for a special form or something. I bet a lot of people who might otherwise do this will be put off by any additional requirements.
raven
July 12, 2012 at 12:18 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It’s easy. They voted for George Bush who wrecked the economy and set us back for a generation. Being a member of a satanic cult should be no problem.
I don’t think Mr. Keller likes Mormons or Mormonism. Oddly enough, he is more or less right about Joseph Smith.
Area Man
July 12, 2012 at 12:21 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
But his daddy is omnipresent, which definitely means he was in America, which makes Jesus an natural born American citizen.
Still, given his somewhat darker than pure white complexion, he’s probably a secret Muslim.
The Lorax
July 12, 2012 at 12:27 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I, too, encourage this. In fact, I sincerely hope that tens of millions of people sign up, and Jesus is successfully voted into office. I’ve never been to DC, but I will make the trip down there, on foot if I have to, in order to see him sworn in.
As a side note, I wonder if Jesus would uphold and enforce the 1st Amendment. Being as honest as he is, one would think he would take his job seriously.
jthompson
July 12, 2012 at 12:27 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
So am I alone in hoping this throws a swing state to Obama which costs Romney the election?
It would be all sorts of awesome to watch Fox News doing their “Jesus cost us the presidency! Jesus sucks!” coverage afterward.
dingojack
July 12, 2012 at 12:31 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
daved (and anyone else who is interested) I posted this elsewhere.
To get ahead on the overall vote (even with a million voters for jesus) the voter turn-out would have to be less than 6% of the 2008 Election turn-out to even get close to tipping it).
Dingo
anubisprime
July 12, 2012 at 12:41 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Brilliant idea…I fully endorse his message!
Christians…write JESUS on your ballot forms…you know it makes sense!
thisisaturingtest
July 12, 2012 at 12:48 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Pedantic nitpick here, but this is sort of a pet peeve of mine. Why do so many people say “literally”- and then follow it with something that is so plainly a figure of speech? I once heard some nitwitted lady, on one of those godawful “true ghost story” shows (on Discovery Channel, or maybe TLC, or something like that), say, about something reeeaaallly eeeerriie she saw: “I was literally scared to death.” I did a (literal) facepalm.
slc1
July 12, 2012 at 12:54 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Gee, having had our first African American president, Mr. Keller is suggesting that it’s time for our first Jewish president.
d cwilson
July 12, 2012 at 12:58 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yeah, but most of them, like Mitt’s father-in-law, are already dead.
dingojack
July 12, 2012 at 1:03 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
d cwilson – but I beat most of ‘em will vote Romney in for a second term.
:) Dingo
——-
Sorry about managling your handle before – haste over care
wholething
July 12, 2012 at 1:03 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
A Mormon and a possible Muslim aren’t Christian enough for them, so they are going to vote for a Jew? Did Jesus ever ask himself to come into his heart?
dingojack
July 12, 2012 at 1:09 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
‘A Mormon, a Muslim and Jew walk into a bar and the bartender says: ‘What is this? Some kinda joke?”‘
:) Dingo
matty1
July 12, 2012 at 1:25 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
So is Jesus*, how do we know they haven’t got to him?
*Yes I know, resurrection – but if he went to heaven after I’d say it still counts as dead for most purposes.
caseloweraz
July 12, 2012 at 1:33 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Would that be Carlos de Jesus, legendary DJ — or Jesus Sandoz of Yonkers, NY?
nicksirman
July 12, 2012 at 1:38 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
If I ever run for office, I’ll tell people to pray for my opponent instead of voting for him. If you really believe in your god, praying would be sufficient. Actually voting would be showing you don’t really believe. This is just as good though.
slc1
July 12, 2012 at 1:40 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Re caseloweraz @ #32
Or Jesus Alou, one of the Alou brothers who were major league baseball players back in the 1970s.
Modusoperandi
July 12, 2012 at 3:27 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yeah! Who did he think he was, Abraham?
shockna
July 12, 2012 at 3:32 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
All you guys asking for a birth certificate are missing the point…
Haven’t you ever seen a picture of Jesus? Blonde eyed, blue haired, skin white as snow… He’s qualified, that’s all the proof you need!
tomh
July 12, 2012 at 3:32 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Maybe it will balance out those who throw away their vote voting for Jill Stein, Green Party presidential candidate.
kagekiri
July 12, 2012 at 3:38 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Jesus isn’t a patriot! He spoke out against earthly revolutions and specifically said to pay taxes no matter the lack of representation, so obviously, he opposed the American Revolution! How un-American can you get?
He opposes the basics of capitalism, like throwing shops out of churches (where else can pastors and Christian writers peddle their good?), and his early followers pioneered communism long before Marx! Even heaven is communistic, with everyone rewarded the same no matter how hard or long they work for heaven!
Jesus opposed families, saying his followers should abandon their families to follow him, and promising that families would tear themselves apart in religious disagreements!
He also proposed thought-crime morality, which is carried out through magical powers that respect no one’s privacy! Can anyone NOT see a fascist dictatorship when they read about the second coming and how Jesus will kill and torture all of the millions who disagree with his policies?
/snark
I know some Christians like to point this out too (usually saying not to be modern day Pharisees or some shit), but I actually agree with them: Jesus would be utterly rejected and denounced by fundies if he ever showed up in real life.
And you know what: I’d probably agree with the fundies. Jesus is full of crap as a character in the Bible. Liberal or Conservative, he’s got plenty of crap that both sides would NOT want near government power.
Gvlgeologist, FCD
July 12, 2012 at 5:10 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@ thisisaturingtest:
I always like watching football games where the announcer says, “He literally had his head knocked off!” People should be saying, “almost literally”.
dysomniak, darwinian socialist
July 12, 2012 at 5:21 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yeah, people who do that are literally worse than Hitler. Literally.
jakc
July 13, 2012 at 1:23 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
If the Mormons are right, maybe Jesus qualifies as a natural born citizen
Quodlibet
July 13, 2012 at 8:55 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
In addition to the citizenship issue, Jesus may not be elected to the Presidency because he has not reached the age of 35, the minimum qualifying age specified in the Constitution for those elected President. (Credit for this goes to my smart, atheist, history-loving daughter, who has read both the Bible and the Constitution, something that lots of right-wing-nuts seem not to have done.)
KG
July 13, 2012 at 9:49 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It seems “literally” is very often used metaphorically, while “metaphorically” is almost always used literally.
As for the write-in campaign for Jesus, the effect on the outcome will surely depend on the geographical, social and ethnic composition of the voters it attracts. I imagine there are plenty of habitual Democratic voters, and habitual non-voters, that such a campaign could appeal to if packaged right.
jnorris
July 13, 2012 at 10:34 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Quodlibet @ #42 has it right. jesus fails both teh natural-born citizenship test and the age test. BTW, the same reasons Superman and Lois Lane couldn’t run for president. LL was 33 at the time. DC Comics taught American Constitutional law in the 1960′s IIRC.
fallingwhale
July 13, 2012 at 5:47 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’ll be voting in California so the state goes to Obama either way. This kind of makes me want to vote for Raptor Jesus.