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Jul 03 2012

This Ensures Obama Reelection

No, not the Supreme Court’s health care ruling, which I think could actually hurt Obama in the election. But the news that a large majority of the American people think Obama would better protect them from an alien invasion than Mitt Romney all but guarantees that he’ll win in November.

Nearly two in three Americans think President Barack Obama is better suited than Republican rival Mitt Romney to deal with an alien invasion, according to a survey released Wednesday…

With Obama facing re-election in November, 65 percent said Obama would be more adept than Romney to respond to an alien invasion, with women and younger Americans more likely than men and over-65s to agree with that prospect.

in an election that looks to be a very close one, this could make the crucial difference.

32 comments

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  1. 1
    tubi

    Is it because those same people think Obama IS an alien himself?

  2. 2
    ArtK

    That’s because a majority of Americans think that Obama is an alien and would be in a better position to negotiate peace.

  3. 3
    dingojack

    Was Jack Nicholson or Donald ‘Duke of New York’ Pleasence on the list as options?
    Dingo

  4. 4
    drbunsen, le savant fous

    Of course he would. After all, he’s a time-travelling teleporting alien-ass-kicking space ninja. The CIA denies it, which is how you know it’s true.

  5. 5
    daved

    Are we talking legal or illegal alien invasions here?

  6. 6
    smhll

    Especially if the aliens pull an October Surprise.

  7. 7
    Area Man

    No, not the Supreme Court’s health care ruling, which I think could actually hurt Obama in the election.

    I’m not sure why people think this. Sure, it will get the Teadouche faction all riled up, but aren’t they riled up enough already? Your characteristic swing voter only has vague impressions about the ACA, mostly negative thanks to endless Republican lying, but the ruling pulls a major rug out from under the haters. It also completely boxes in Romney. The only distinction he was able to draw between his health care reform and that of Obama was the dubious state vs. federal distinction, and now that’s gone.

    The polls that have come out since the decision show a bump in Obama’s direction and more favorability toward the ACA, although it’s not big. Imagine however if the ruling had gone the other way.

  8. 8
    Moggie

    I wonder how Romney would deal with an invasion from the planet Kolob?

  9. 9
    anubisprime

    FFS…!…Is there any hard and incontrovertible reason published as why this should be so…I mean was Mittens a little short on policy on this question or what?

    But low and behold it does not stop there….

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-18692830

    Really how in the name of Beelzebub’s short and curliest can this be so…?

    Especially after the HG Wells fiasco, problem with learning obvious glaring errors from broadcast history methinks!
    Mind you I am not saying it would not happen in Blighty with IQ on display in parliament!

    The scary thing is the US have a few nuclear devices to play with…not feeling very comforted about that I am afraid!

  10. 10
    Reginald Selkirk

    The Arcturian Candidate

  11. 11
    Reginald Selkirk

    Maybe its because Obama uses Apple products, and people know that alien space ships are vulnerable to Apple-based malware.

  12. 12
    fifthdentist

    Of the two, Mitt appears to be more alien. Or better still, a robot constructed by advanced aliens to take control of earth.
    We’ll know for sure, if, when he loses the election, Mitt’s response is: “I’ll be baach.”

  13. 13
    baal

    I, for one, will welcome our new alien overlords.

  14. 14
    ArtK

    @ anubisprime

    Especially after the HG Wells fiasco, problem with learning obvious glaring errors from broadcast history methinks!

    It’s not just broadcast media. I’ve heard people say “I read it in the paper. They couldn’t print it if it wasn’t true.”

    Sadly, there are lots of people in the world who lack any kind of critical thinking skill. Lots of people fall for Nigerian scams, despite the fact that they’re patently absurd.

  15. 15
    matty1

    Sure but Romney has the zombie vote

  16. 16
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    I thought that Mittens rMoney becoming the Republican POTUS nominee had already guranteed Obama’s re-election?

    Hasn’t it?

    As for alien invasions I thought that was Dennis Kuchinch’s role – but he missed out last time didn’t he? Can we draft him?

  17. 17
    d cwilson

    Damn, first Obama loses the pirate vote by shooting a couple of Somali pirates, now he’s lost the alien invader and the zombie vote?

    He’s going to have to pull out all the stops to make sure he locks down the ninja and vampire vote.

  18. 18
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @ ^ d cwilson : Shhh.. Obama don’t tell ‘em you’re following Lincoln and actually a vampire hunter too then!

  19. 19
    kermit.

    I think the American people are simply afraid that Willard Scissorshands would outsource our jobs (sorry; offshore)to Alpha Centauri. Once they’ve gone that far, they’re gone for good.

  20. 20
    Area Man

    I think the American people are simply afraid that Willard Scissorshands would outsource our jobs (sorry; offshore)…

    I believe the current Frank Luntz approved, focus group tested messaging is “right-source”. Or is it “right-shore”?

  21. 21
    beezlebubby

    You people disappoint me. 20 comments and not one reference to special sunglasses, Roddy Piper, or running out of bubblegum. For shame!

  22. 22
    davem

    Time to send 100 million Mexicans over the border…

  23. 23
    Raging Bee

    Well, yeah, the Republicans can’t even talk sensibly about China and Iran right now, so how can we expect them to handle aliens?

    And if any alien species actually shows up, you can bet Mutt Romney will change all of his basic values to get their support — especially if they pretend they’re interested in Mormonism.

    Also, their loony science denialism is verging on a return to geocentrism; and it’s kinda hard to fight an interplanetary war if you’re a geocentrist.

  24. 24
    kermit.

    raging bee: Also, their loony science denialism is verging on a return to geocentrism; and it’s kinda hard to fight an interplanetary war if you’re a geocentrist.

    Don’t be silly; that’s why all those aliens want our planet. They see the advantage in being at the center of the universe. That, and they hate Jesus.

  25. 25
    F [is for failure to emerge]

    Well, yeah. Aliens from other worlds turning up would be presumed by Romney to be Mormons returned from the dead.

  26. 26
    meg

    @Reginald Selkirk #10

    Ha! Thanks for the laugh – needed that.

  27. 27
    lofgren

    I can’t tell whether or not Ed is joking, but I have to say that I do believe this kind of question actually does a better job of indicating who people will actually vote for than any issue question. Nobody has any rational reason to think that Obama would handle an alien invasion better. Hell, we don’t even know what an alien invasion would look like. It’s entirely up the the person answering the question to both create the scenario and imagine how their preferred candidate would react and how that might be “better” than the other choice. The question is essentially a way of tricking people into answering the question “Which candidate makes you feel more comfortable when the shit hits the fan?” by giving them an easy way to rationalize their answer. They might as well ask, “The president’s gib: which candidate cuts it better.”

  28. 28
    thisisaturingtest

    Area Man, @#7:

    Your characteristic swing voter only has vague impressions about the ACA, mostly negative thanks to endless Republican lying…

    That is why. How many of those swing voters’ “vague impressions” are going to be corrected, when the right is constantly screaming “massive new tax!”? The distinction between the “tax” of the SC ruling upholding ACA, and the “tax,” as Palin, Limbaugh, Fox, and others frame it, is going to be lost in the noise evoked simply by the emotive word “tax.”

  29. 29
    Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    Also, their loony science denialism is verging on a return to geocentrism; and it’s kinda hard to fight an interplanetary war if you’re a geocentrist.

    Yeah, really. How do you protect the earth if your head is up Uranus?

  30. 30
    iangould

    A more important question is which candidate would be better-equipped to survive a zombie apocalypse.

    The answer: Libertarian Candidate Governor Gary Johnson who has competed in numerous Iron man contests and triathlons as well as being a mountain-climber, ultramarathoner and paraglider.

  31. 31
    dingojack

    IanGould – The other advantage:
    Libertarians lack the sweet, juicy brains that zombies crave so much.
    ;D Dingo

  32. 32
    John Phillips, FCD

    dingo #31, one Internets is winging its way to you via UFO as I type.

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