Jun 23 2012

Glenn Beck Has Seen the Finger of God

During Glenn Beck’s speech at Ralph Reed’s Faith and Freedom Conference, he said over and over again that he has “seen the finger of God.” And miracles are coming, but if we don’t do what he says, God will “withdraw his protection.” How exactly does one tell when God’s “hand of protection” is around us and when it’s not? I’d love to hear one of these loonies try to answer that.


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  1. 1
  2. 2

    Did he pull it?

  3. 3

    I know a pretty good optometrist…

  4. 4
    'Tis Himself

    What Beck actually saw.

  5. 5

    I hear santorum has seen the cumming of lawd. *
    :) Dingo
    * he was a having a dump at the time and he looked down and…

  6. 6

    “The flying fickle finger of fate” award goes to……

  7. 7

    How exactly does one tell when God’s “hand of protection” is around us and when it’s not?

    In Beck’s case, as in most of today’s TV spewing and book scibbling prophets, it’s likely tied directly to revenue. Anybody know if there’s been a “Finger of God” tee shirt line added at the Blaze?

  8. 8

    We don’t know where that finger has been. Leave it alone. Don’t touch it. Eww, you touched it. Now go wash your hands.

  9. 9

    “The Moving Finger writes: and, having writ,
    Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
    Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
    Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”

    :) Dingo

  10. 10

    That puts him one-up on Moses, who got mooned.

  11. 11
    Michael Heath

    Re the physical manifestations some Christians take as a sign from God:

    To be convinced these are signs of God forces one to also conclude God desires to present humans with empirical evidence of his existence and nature, but is impotent in doing so in a manner which we can empirically and independently validate. So this yields another example of Christians not thinking their assertions through to their logical conclusion; in this case their god is is not omnipotent. In fact their God is so weak he can’t do what anyone of us can do, independently validate our own existence and general nature.

  12. 12

    “seen the finger of God”?? Never take hallucinogens manufactured by amateurs!

  13. 13
    John Hinkle

    I guess it’s time for Beck’s digital rectal exam.

  14. 14

    Plus points for the Rubaiyat reference…

  15. 15
    some bastard on the internet

    Sooooo…. which finger was it?

  16. 16

    How exactly does one tell when God’s “hand of protection” is around us and when it’s not?

    As JRB said above, follow the money.

    If you send lots of money to Glenn Beck, everything is OK. If not, god withdraws his protection. God is an all powerful being who can do anything, except it seems, keep his self appointed minions supplied with enough money.

    I don’t know why anyone takes these kooks seriously. Even Jesus said the world was going to end very soon and that was 2,000 years ago.

    In Glenn Beck’s case, a few years ago he said he was going blind, presumably because that was god’s will (or maybe he just couldn’t stop touching himself down there). How did that prediction come out. He isn’t blind!!!

  17. 17

    Raven – but to be fair all that money (oh and god) convinced Glenny Bek to stop masturbating so furiously and so often…
    :) Dingo

  18. 18
    Jeremy Shaffer

    An advertisment for vibrators on a post talking about Glenn Beck seeing the “Finger of God”. Fitting.

  19. 19

    Jeremy @18. The banner ad I got at the top of the page is for the Denver Seminary. I am speechless…

  20. 20
    Chris from Europe

    I haven’t seen such an ad, but the title made me think of something in that direction.

  21. 21

    So he did. And he heard a voice say “bear down.”

  22. 22

    They always witness miracles that can be (as Beck himself agrees in the video) easily dismissed as coincidences.

    What about god giving Beck a solution to one (or all) of the Clay Mathematical Institute’s Millenium Prize problems? He could earn millions for himself – and everybody would agree that it was true miracle.

    (Carl Sagan first suggested something like this in his Demon Haunted World)

  23. 23
    John Pieret

    As Wikipedia says:

    A finger is a limb of the human body and a type of digit, an organ of manipulation and sensation found in the hands of humans and other primates.

    Beck, et al. (particularly the et al.), might find out that they were being manipulated (and worse) if they could only get their own fingers out of their ears.

  24. 24

    Ooh, I recognize this move! It’s the “Prophet of Doom” gambit.

    Step 1: Predict that, because of our sins, God will withdraw his protection.

    Step 2: Something bad inevitably happens.

    Step 3: Profit!!

    One uses this move to shore up support within the uneasy ranks of the faithful rather than to convince us skeptics; you have to prey on their anxiety, their fear that because they haven’t behaved as “Christian” as it should be, God will punish them. And then, when things go wrong, the people who were at least thinking about straying immediately panic, repent, and call for others to do likewise.

    Pastors have been using this reliable tactic on their congregants for years, of course. And we’ve seen it happen on a national scale too, such as when Robertson and Falwell claimed 9-11 was God’s judgment and so forth. But you see, this right here is the wind-up for the pitch; watch when something significantly bad happens in society, and Glenn Beck and his fellow doomsayers will reap the rewards.

  25. 25

    I think the “hand of protection” question has a simple answer. Is one of God’s servants, aka a Republican, in the White House? Then the “hand of protection” is firmly in place.

  26. 26
    Dr X

    SLC, Heath,

    This is what I love about this site. Contrary to the claims of the wingnut bigots and trolls who happen by, we see people here who can agree that someone is an idiot, but argue about why and how they’re an idiot. And that’s what I’m interested in; the conclusions are worthless if we ignore the assumptions and the quality of the arguments.

  27. 27

    And in other news:
    The results of the Australian Census are in. ‘No Relgion’ has risen from 18.7% in 2006 to 22.3% five years later.
    (Only another 36.5 more years, if this keeps up, and we’ll be the majority!)

  28. 28

    I always thought it was “the hand of God,” not “the finger of God.”

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    Well, I messed that up. The link is to the Flying Fickle Finger of Fate award.

  31. 31
    Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    If I was God, I’d give Beck the finger too.

  32. 32
    Ex Patriot

    It seems you have a plague of stupid in the States, you need to find a vacine to wipe it out before it over runs the country. I was an american before I retired to Europe 13 years ago. There are enough problems here, without the US becoming a theocracy,which it seems to be on the road to.I might also add that I have been an Atheist for the last 50 years and if I could do anything to change whats going on I would.

  33. 33

    if i were god i’d show glen beck the finger, too.

  34. 34

    I always thought it was “the hand of God,” not “the finger of God.”

    Hand of God, that would be Diego Maradona.

  1. 35
    We are many, we are many, we are

    [...] by fear of anything new and, more importantly, total ignorance as to how the economy works.”God gives Glenn Beck the finger. About time.“Church Sign Epic Fails, Vol. XX“Filed Under: Uncategorized Leave a Comment [...]

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