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Jun 04 2012

Hoekstra Plays Pretend

Former Rep. Pete Hoekstra, now running for the Republican nomination to challenge Sen. Debbie Stabenow this fall, is proposing to establish a federal agency to check the birth certificates of those who run for president to make sure they’re eligible. But he wants you to know that this has nothing at all to do with Obama and all that birther bullshit:

Yeah, where would anyone get the idea that this has something to do with pandering to the dumbest of the right wing over Obama’s birth certificate? How dare you suggest such a thing. He’s just “all about solutions.” The bottom line is that Hoekstra just isn’t very bright.

16 comments

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  1. 1
    Phillip IV

    proposing to establish a federal agency to check the birth certificates of those who run for president to make sure they’re eligible

    Like, uh, the Federal Election Commission, for example?

  2. 2
    Bronze Dog

    I’m reminded of a cartoon comparing the number of registered voters without photo ID (big crowd and large number) to the number of alleged voter fraud incidents (four).

    So, how many alleged cases of illegal presidential campaigns do we have outside of Obama?

  3. 3
    Raging Bee

    But he wants you to know that this has nothing at all to do with Obama and all that birther bullshit…

    It also seems to have nothing at all to do with the fact that such an agency already exists — it’s called the Department of Justice.

  4. 4
    d cwilson

    The bottom line is that Hoekstra just isn’t very bright.

    I disagree. He’s in a primary race for the GOP nomination, so he knows he has to pander to the crazy vote. I’d say that’s pretty smart.

  5. 5
    Randomfactor

    Like, uh, the Federal Election Commission, for example?

    Not independent enough. Maybe some commission overseen by, say, the wife of a prominent-though-virtually-silent Supreme Court justice. Yeah, that sounds good.

  6. 6
    Jasper of Maine

    I thought they wanted smaller government.

  7. 7
    Modusoperandi

    Bronze Dog “So, how many alleged cases of illegal presidential campaigns do we have outside of Obama?”
    Clinton, Carter, Johnson, Kennedy, Truman, Roosevelt…

  8. 8
    Raging Bee

    Jasper: of COURSE they want smaller government. That’s why this new agency they want to create won’t be hiring any actual investigators. Just a handful of goons to go around drowning uppity dark-skinned liberals in a bathtub. That’s how they make government run as efficiently as a business…specifically, a drug cartel, which is well known to be both self-regulatory and cost-efficient.

  9. 9
    Raging Bee

    Oh, and they’ll cut costs even further by wearing used white sheets to work. No fancy expensive city-slicker suits for these down-to-earth public servants, nosireebob…hell, they’ll be covering their faces too, so they won’t even have to shave!

  10. 10
    abb3w

    FEC seems the most obvious choice.
    Second most would be the Census Bureau.

    Either way, creating an entire new agency is idiotic.

  11. 11
    raven

    While they are creating new agencies to check out the candidates for President (or other offices), we absolutely need one to check and see if they are even human. Or alive.

    If you look at the current Tea Party/GOP candidates, there is a huge amount of doubt.

    Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry, for example, look like they are Pod People or perhaps Zombies. It’s all there, the glassy eyes, robotic movements, halting speech, disorientation to person, place, and time.

    I suspect Hoestra would probably fail such a test.

  12. 12
    d cwilson

    I’d settle for a mental competency evaluation for Bachmann.

  13. 13
    teele

    Could be Hoekstra (rhymes with “Crook-stra”) is just mad — he can’t run for President, because he was born in the Netherlands.

    I got gerrymandered into this nutjob’s district back when Gingrich declared his Contract on America. He was all about limited terms back then, so finally quit last go-round. And now I’ve been gerrymandered back to Fred Upton’s district (he’s REALLY not into term limits). So, essentially, we have no representation right now. Upton doesn’t care, because we’re not in his district yet, and Huizenga, the current rep for the Dutch District, doesn’t care because we can’t vote for him in the future.

    Those of you outside Michigan District 2 may remember Hoekstra for his one shining moment in the national spotlight — he and his good buddy Rick Santorum calling a presser in ’06 to announce that there were, INDEED, weapons of mass destruction in Iraq! Yeah, that turned out real well. Apparently, however, he is incapable of embarrassment.

  14. 14
    cottonnero

    He certainly is incapable of embarrassment. Remember that monumentally racist Super Bowl ad?

  15. 15
    umlud

    I thought they wanted smaller government.

    It is smaller government. I mean three people (one FBI guy, one CIA guy, and one oversight guy with only one job every four years) is MUCH smaller than having a whole agency working all the time. /snark

  16. 16
    Leo T.

    I just watched someone pander to the birthers while denying that he supports them.

    This must be what it’s like to work for the Ministry of Truth.

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