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May 27 2012

Crouch: God Kills People Who Oppose TBN

Trinity Broadcasting Network founder and first class con man Paul Crouch and his smarmy son, Matt, had a conversation that was captured for a TV show and put on Youtube. It was removed, but someone else had captured it and reuploaded it. In that conversation, they clearly implied that God would kill those who opposed TBN — you know, like the Crouch granddaughter who has revealed so much of their financial scam with a lawsuit against the network.

Matt: You know what’s funny dad? There have been a few attempts in the TBN history to upset TBN, to stop TBN. There have been a few fools in the 38, 39 year history, coming up on 40 years. And you what? Any attempt at stopping TBN, they have no idea who they’re actually pushing into the corner. You and mom get pushed in a corner, God help you. That’s a lesson I’ve learned from you. Seriously.

Paul: God help anyone who would try to get in the way of TBN, which was God’s…

Matt: plan and his purpose.

Paul: I have attended the funeral of at least two people who tried.

Matt: Hello.

Paul: Um…

Matt: Hello.

Paul: That’s another whole story.

18 comments

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  1. 1
    raven

    Quite common. Some fundie xians like to threaten people with their imaginary friend in the sky who has his own gruesome prison, called Hell and administered by his buddy satan.

    I can’t count the number of times they have threatened me with eternal torture.

    FWIW, today is the End of The World. Wikipedia: “Weinland has changed the prophesied date for the return of Christ to Pentecost of 2012 (May 27)[12] and recently began to ordain women in his church as elders.[13"

    If you laugh at Ronald Weinland for being wrong, you will die of cancer. Wikipedia again. "Weinland warned in a 2009 sermon critics who mock him or COG-PKG will be divinely cursed with "a sickness that will eat them from the inside out".[6]“

  2. 2
    raven

    wikipedia:

    Alleged tax evasionOn November 10, 2011,

    Weinland was indicted by a Federal Grand Jury on charges of tax evasion.

    It is alleged that he understated his income on federal tax returns, used church funds for personal use and concealed the existence of a Swiss bank account.[14]. Weinland admits that church funds were placed in a bank account in Switzerland and that his was one of the two names on the account, but denies that there was any tax evasion, and states that all funds have since been repatriated to the United States and used for church advertising.[15] Weinland disclosed to the Church before that account was opened, in the sermon given on December 28, 2002 titled “Planning Ahead.”[16]

    Ronald Weinland, false prophet, also seems to be having legal trouble for siphoning off church funds and tax evasion.

    It doesn’t look like the federal authorities are too worried about dying of cancer. Makes sense. He got the date of the Apocalypse wrong too and his claims of being god’s agent on earth aren’t looking very plausible.

    Maybe he will end up at the same prison as Kent Hovind and they will have something to talk about, at least.

  3. 3
    busterggi

    There goes 99.9999999999% of the world’s population.

    Wonder if it’ll be done alphabetically?

  4. 4
    raven

    Paul Crouch:

    Paul: I have attended the funeral of at least two people who tried.

    He is essentially admitting to two murders carried out by witchcraft.

    The saving grace here is that no one with any intelligence is going to believe him.

    If it was the thought that counted, he would be looking at life in prison though.

  5. 5
    Kevin

    Actually, god kills everyone.

    Eventually.

    You either die of something nasty that could have been prevented if only you’d take care of yourself better, or you die in an accident, or you die of decrepitude.

    Everyone goes. And since god’s responsible for everything that happens (according to these people anyway), it’s all god’s handiwork.

    Nice job, god. But did you have to make cancer so icky? And what’s with the Alzheimer’s? That’s just not right.

    When it comes my time, a nice fatal first heart attack (preferably at age 85 after I’ve enjoyed a little nookie with my 21-year-old girlfriend) would be nice. See to that, will ya, god?

  6. 6
    jakc

    This is actually great news. god kills everyone & god kills people for opposing tbn, so most, if not all people, will come to oppose tbn. Plus, I bet the funerals were for Jerry Falwell & Oral Roberts.

  7. 7
    dan4

    “I have attended the funeral of at least two people who tried.”

    If “opposing TBN” is a bad enough thing that it actually merits God killing the opposers, why would Crouch attend the aforementioned individuals’ funerals?

  8. 8
    Ichthyic

    con man Paul Crouch

    of course the guy’s a dick, he’s Barty Crouch Jr.’s brother, ain’t he?

  9. 9
    WMDKitty -- Survivor

    @Ichthyic — HAA! Wonder if he took the Dark Mark?

  10. 10
    godlesspanther

    TBN is a mafia. That is exactly how they operate. This is a well-organized, well-protected, and untouchable criminal organization. The level at which it operates and the number of fraudulent organization that operate in connection with TBN make it pretty much impossible to prosecute. They use intimidation tactics in order to protect themselves.

    I would love to see those fuckers go down but I do not think it’s likely to happen any time soon.They have the dynasty in place. When the founders are dead the offspring take over.

    If there were someone willing to take them on — it would be suicide. I do not mean political suicide, or the end of their career — I mean that they would be killed.

    Just as the Crouches said, spoken like a true gang-boss.

  11. 11
    carolw

    So what’s with the weird dragon-ish symbol (embroidery?) on Crouch Sr.’s jacket?

  12. 12
    'Tis Himself

    Ever notice how God has exactly the same opinions, biases and prejudices as the people who claim to be his mouthpiece?

  13. 13
    Ichthyic

    So what’s with the weird dragon-ish symbol (embroidery?) on Crouch Sr.’s jacket?

    see comment #9

  14. 14
    Ichthyic

    So what’s with the weird dragon-ish symbol (embroidery?) on Crouch Sr.’s jacket?

    less humorous thought…

    weren’t the head of KKK clans called “dragons”?

  15. 15
    tacitus

    I would love to see those fuckers go down but I do not think it’s likely to happen any time soon.They have the dynasty in place. When the founders are dead the offspring take over.

    You may be right, but it’s not 100% certain. From what I have seen, Matthew Crouch is a fool, with very little business acumen worth speaking of, so if he’s the one in charge when his parents are gone, then who knows what might happen. He has a brother, who is more behind the scenes (or was last time I paid attention), and he’s somewhat more sensible than his idiot brother. No idea if he’s committed to the cause long term though.

  16. 16
    birgerjohansson

    TBN:
    “(Bzzzt)…Reverting to default mode…CRUSH! KILL! DESTROY!”

    Paul channeling Bender?

  17. 17
    democommie

    “No idea if he’s committed to the cause long term though.”

    When you put KKKristians and sheeple with funds in the same room, siphoning funds from the sheeple IS the long term goal–reiKKKwing politics is just the by-catch.

  18. 18
    tacitus

    Turns out, the more sensible son — Paul Crouch Jr. — has been forced out of TBN. That leaves idiot Matt Crouch running the show once the parents are gone. If it’s bad now, it will be far worse under Matt, that’s for sure.

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