My old Science Blogs colleague Jason Rosenhouse wrote about Obama’s half-hearted embrace of marriage equality and got himself a very funny troll named Rob. His first comment was so predictably stupid that I kind of assumed he was joking. He wasn’t.
I have never really understood the whole gay so called marriage thing. Then again this goes back to evolution versus creationism:
God created Adam and Adam was lonely because he saw all of the beasts of the field (including dinosaurs) that God had made but there was no other like him. God then made a companion for Adam which was another man called Steve. No. That can’t be right. How would Adam and Steve follow the commands of God to “be fruitful and multiply” (not be selfish and murder our unborn child) if there was no woman?
So, here is how it all went down: God created Adam and Adam was lonely because he saw all of the beasts (including dinosaurs) that God had made but there was no other like him. God then made a companion for Adam which was a WOMAN.
I guess that about raps that argument up for eternity.
If you really wish to know the thoughtsof God on gay marriage read Genesis chapters 18 and 19. Then ask yourself if that is the destiney you really want for your children. That should sum up whose side you are on.
That reads exactly like it would read if someone were parodying a wingnut. But this guy isn’t pretending. He has his own blog called Issues that Matter: America’s Moral Battleground. And there’s some seriously funny stuff there. Like did you know Christians are going to be thrown into concentration camps soon?
Perhaps before long will on the conservative side,we may end up in internment camps to be re-educated. Defy them and everything they stand for. Oppose them as if satan himself was grasping your very soul and sending it into the flames. Hold on to what you believe, fight for what you have, and never surrender to enemy forces of evil. You may be tortured, imprisoned, or even killed, but in the end when the day of resurrection comes you will stand strong for eternity while the enemy burns for eternity. In the end we win for eternity. Let the New World Order have their petty control and their pathetic attempt at destroying freedom. Those who side with God will stand strong in the end when they are crushed and eternally punished for their crimes.
And then there’s this:
As for the citizens of North Carolina, you deserve a reward for doing the right thing and sending the forces of evil a message that you will stand strong against tyranny for as long as they can dish it out. Now, if we could just defund the UN, defund the EPA, vote Ron Paul for president, makes creationism a class by itself at school and get rid of evolution’s lie. And return to the gold standard we would be a better country.
Oh, and he’s an anti-vaxxer too. And a “UFOlogist” who is seeking corporate funding for a “research project.” But he isn’t completely gone. He still says David Icke’s reptilian ramblings are “far-fetched.” If you’re a fan of the crazy, this guy is a jedi master.
48 comments
Skip to comment form ↓
Ellie
May 15, 2012 at 2:56 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I think he, along with other rabid anti-vaxxers, should be placed in an iron lung for a day. Then, I’d give him over to the Reptilians.
Tabby Lavalamp
May 15, 2012 at 2:56 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’d be on the side of my children, so no, I’d want absolutely no biblical destiny inflicted on my children. Especially a daughter or a rebellious son.
Zinc Avenger
May 15, 2012 at 3:07 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Welp, I’m convinced.
Zinc Avenger
May 15, 2012 at 3:09 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Anyone who believes those stupid conspiracy theories will be the rounded up and shot with vaccine-infected bullets and then sold to our Reticulan probe-lords from the inside of the hollow Earth.
jsnp
May 15, 2012 at 3:14 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
So there were male and female animals but no female of the human species? Well that’s pretty shitty planning. Why give the guy a set of twig & berries if reproduction wasn’t part of the design or did they magically appear after the rib was being made into Adam’s
sex slavemate?Doug Little
May 15, 2012 at 3:20 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
There I think that s somewhat more detailed description of what will happen.
Raging Bee
May 15, 2012 at 3:20 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
BTW, our new chew-toy Rob just admitted he gets his “facts” from Conservapedia. (And they probably get some of their “facts” from him too.)
But wait — chapter 8 of some creationist booklet has just been completed. This could change everything. Or not. (Yes, he said “bookLET.” Words will not adequately express how impressed I’m not.)
Reginald Selkirk
May 15, 2012 at 3:21 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Or you could read Genesis 2 and 3 to find out that God is a manipulative lying fuck, and you can’t trust what He tells you.
vmanis1
May 15, 2012 at 3:26 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
So Adam had sex with Eve, and produced Cain and Abel. They got magical wives from some beans or something, so that they could procreate too. (Or maybe their wives were also daughters of Adam and Eve, in which case we’ve got some serious incest going on.)
My favorite way of handling this story is from Inherit the Wind, where the Clarence Darrow character (played by Spencer Tracy) asks the William Jennings Bryan character (Fredric March) about this, and then speculates `Or maybe there was another Creation over in the next county?’ March’s character has no answer.
So yeah, Genesis teaches us `Gay sex bad, incest good’. Go with that, Rob.
Doug Little
May 15, 2012 at 3:36 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Well given that (before Steve or Eve came along) Adam was hanging around with a bunch of animals doing it all the time and that we are supposedly a Christian country founded on christian principles and that there are some states that don’t outlaw bestiality….
slc1
May 15, 2012 at 3:57 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
We commentors over there have had a lot of fun at Mr. Rob’s expense. However, Prof. Rosenhouse has another troll, calling himself Jon S, who is s YEC and who comments intermittently. Unlike Mr. Rob, Mr. Jon S appears to have some intelligence so that his lunacy is less obvious as he is able to make apparently cogent arguments for his position, even though they are total bullshit. Hopefully neither of them will show up here.
raven
May 15, 2012 at 3:57 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
If you really wish to know the thoughts of god on disobedient children and false prophets read Deuteronomy.
They are all supposed to be stoned to death!!!
Stupid cafeteria fundies. If they actually followed their magic book, all their leaders would be dead under piles of rocks.
fastlane
May 15, 2012 at 4:07 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I would recommend that Rob check the labels on his clothing, then read the other appropriate chapters in his Holy Bibble…..
Just make sure it makes it to youtube, wouldn’t want to miss out on the fun. Oh, and check him for tattoos. >;-)
Markita Lynda—damn climate change!
May 15, 2012 at 4:21 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Why do I always have to be the Forces of Evil? Why can’t I be the Good Guys for a change? *whine*
laurentweppe
May 15, 2012 at 4:24 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Why, of course: in France, for instance, we already have these giant camps called “Public schools” where kids are thrown at a young age to be mentally tortured by unionized socialist teachers who tell them that global warming is real that humans and apes are both hominids and that they can have sex so long as they use contraception and take precautions against STDs.
Doug Little
May 15, 2012 at 4:25 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Great work by SLC on the other site, he absolutely destroyed (and when I mean destroyed, he blow torched him into his constituent particles) poor, poor Rob.
Doug Little
May 15, 2012 at 4:28 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Well it’s not like we have skulls on our caps or anything.
slc1
May 15, 2012 at 4:38 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
A little OT but the Rethuglicans in the Virginia General Assembly just voted to spit in Governor McDonnell’s eye, turning down his judicial appointment of a gay prosecutor. Way to go fucktards.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/virginia-politics/post/house-of-delegates-rejects-gay-judge/2012/05/15/gIQAPN5YQU_blog.html
raven
May 15, 2012 at 5:32 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
This guy reminds me of someone on a lunatic fringe blog I read occasionally.
She thinks Alex Jones of PrisonPlanet is a prophet and weaves every known conspiracy theory into elaborate tapestrys where the gay, atheist, Moslem Space Reptiles working with FEMA will put all xians into concentration camps after the UN finishes their depopulation program with vaccines and oh yeah, jesus is going to show up any minute.
She also hates MD’s. They keep trying to give her medication. She also ends up moving often because she routinely gets kicked out of housing for bizarre and erratic behavior.
The bottom line here, she is an unmedicated schizophrenic leading a sad life that will probably be short. The average SZ dies 15-30 years younger than the US average.
slc1
May 15, 2012 at 5:40 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Re Doug Little @ #36
Thanks but I had a lot of company, including some folks who actively comment on this blog.
Apparently, Mr. Rob is still at it, violating the first law of holes. When one is in a hole, the first order of business is to stop digging.
martymcconnell
May 15, 2012 at 6:02 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Fortunately this guy has very few readers.
navin
May 15, 2012 at 6:07 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Why give the guy a set of twig & berries if reproduction wasn’t part of the design or did they magically appear after the rib was being made into Adam’s sex slave mate?
I have a habit of asking Christians basically this question and have yet to get an answer. So did Adam have reproductive organs during that day/time after his creation and before the realization that a woman would need to be created?
adamgordon
May 15, 2012 at 6:18 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Rob Hood, or Brave Sir Robin Wingnut as some call him, has been a regular troll over at Respectful Insolence for some time. Here’s a link to an example thread containing his idiocy over there:
http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2011/12/jenny_mccarthy_plans_to_promote_antivaccine.php#comment-6203900
His usual tactic is to spam posts using various sockpuppet ‘nyms (including those of other real commenters) with illiterate nonsense after Orac is asleep only to have them deleted the very next day. His posts are easily recognizable by their lack of any sense at all and a bizarre fixation on anal sex and scat. The man is truly crazy, I suspect it’s only a matter of time before he devolves into his usual schtick of scat-based insults at Rosenhouse’s blog too.
gvlgeologist
May 15, 2012 at 6:25 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Rob is clearly evidence that, as George Carlin once said, “Think of how stupid the average person is and then realize that half of them are stupider than that.”
regexp
May 15, 2012 at 6:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
He also doesn’t like you:
Gee Ed – explain your unamerican fluoride loving self?
slc1
May 15, 2012 at 6:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Actually, making a monkey out of Mr. Rob is like shooting fish in a barrel. Now Prof. Rosenhouse’s other troll, Jon S, is a different kettle of fish as he is a whole lot smarter then Rob, even though just as delusional.
rabbitscribe
May 15, 2012 at 6:55 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Well, it’s just as GK Chesterton said: “When people stop believing in God, they don’t believe in nothing — they believe in anything.”
christophburschka
May 15, 2012 at 7:18 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I like how he isn’t satisfied with just making stupid on-topic noises, but has to go off on tangents about evolution and abortion just to make sure everyone knows in how many ways he is crazy.
Damn, that plan was supposed to be a secret. Did Julian Assange get his hands on our secret New World Order agenda?
steveinmi
May 15, 2012 at 8:20 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Genesis 19?!?!? REALLY?!?!? If you’re mother dies because she disobeyed the Lord, the daughters’ (plural!) duty is to get their father drunk and rape him, so that he can pass along his lineage. THIS is the passage we use to prove the sanctity of marriage? Glory!
30 Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. 31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth. 32 Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.”
33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.
34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” 35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.
36 So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father. 37 The older daughter had a son, and she named him Moab; he is the father of the Moabites of today. 38 The younger daughter also had a son, and she named him Ben-Ammi[h]; he is the father of the Ammonites of today.
jnorris
May 15, 2012 at 8:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Poor Rob, he doesn’t understand that only the True Christians (TM) will be placed in the ‘reeducation camps’.
Tony
May 15, 2012 at 8:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
How about we abandon the concept of good and evil altogether and replace them with those of us in “The Real World” vs those in “Big Brother”.
Tony
May 15, 2012 at 9:05 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Navin:
I never thought about that. Another chink in their holy book. Whodathunk?
On another note, your question makes me wonder about those theists that believe each “day” in Genesis was a millenia (or some such)…at what point did time speed up so that a day was 24 hours (from our frame of reference), not several millenia (or even millions of years)? And when God created Adam, how many “days” was he alive before Eve? Was it thousands of years? Millions? Yet god created Adam with a penis (maybe? supposedly?). Blue Balls for a few thousand years doesn’t sound pleasurable.
Or this…a theist argument against queers often refers to us as unnatural. I’d say everything in nature would probably be considered natural, so that means we’re not part of nature. That leaves us as beings who are part of this world, yet not of it. Does that make us queers supernatural? Does that make us godlike? Does that mean gay sex is spiritually more pure than heterosexual sex? Is my brain going to stop going crazy from this really strong herbal product I’ve consumed?
acroyear
May 15, 2012 at 10:07 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“Gold standard”?
please.
Everybody knows bimetallism is the only way forward, and then we can finally be ready to push William Jennings Bryan to the White House!
(that joke originally courtesy of The Onion)
Ace of Sevens
May 15, 2012 at 10:17 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Tony. I think you are misinterpreting OECs. They say aren’t saying that God changed his mind about what a day was, just that using “day” to mean “era” was common and still is. When people say “in my day” they don’t mean there was some 24-hour period that belonged to them.
grumpyoldfart
May 15, 2012 at 10:44 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Rob tells the story like this:
The bible tells a slightly different version in Genesis 2:18-22.
-
God recognised that Adam was lonely so he paraded the animals before him and said, “There you go Adam, I’ve got hogs and slugs and camels and bats – pick yourself a pretty one.”
-
It was only later, when Adam complained about the choices, that God finally got around to creating a woman.
stuartvo
May 16, 2012 at 4:35 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I believe when God paraded all the animals (including the dinosaurs!) before him, Adam first “tried them all on for size” before complaining…
johnhodges
May 16, 2012 at 4:43 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The Genesis story (the second one) makes more sense when you understand that it is a counter-myth. There were many “pagan” religions around at the time, and they commonly had a female divinity who created the world and humankind by giving birth to them. This had the effect of giving women a respected status in society. The men of the Abrahamic tradition were determined to establish patriarchy, to reduce women’s status to slavery, and as part of that they wrote this Genesis story where god is male, god creates the first human as male, then creates woman to be his servant. Before this patriarchal movement got started, the people of those tribes had a polytheistic religion including female deities; there are several stories of the OT where the struggle against these earlier beliefs show through. Look up anything that mentions “Astoreth”.
Phillip IV
May 16, 2012 at 5:36 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
navin @ #22:
Well, in all fairness the scrotum pretty much looks like an afterthought. So I’d say Adam had the penis from the get-go (because otherwise he would have had to pee sitting down, and we all know how much God hates men doing girly things) and the balls were added in a rather improvised manner when the plumbing was re-purposed for re-production.
And yeah, God revises things a lot during in the OT, for somebody who’s omniscient he does a surprising amount of adapting his plans to unforeseen circumstances – but that’s not a contradiction at all, you see, because omniscience just means he knows everything – it doesn’t necessarily mean he pays a lot of attention to what he does.
richardelguru
May 16, 2012 at 7:26 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“36 So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father. 37 The older daughter had a son, and she named him Moab; he is the father of the Moabites of today. 38 The younger daughter also had a son, and she named him Ben-Ammi[h]; he is the father of the Ammonites of today.”
@steveinmi
I’ve always thought that story was a dig at the Moabites and Ammonites.
You know, the original yo Mama joke.
“Yo Mama so salty…”???
richardelguru
May 16, 2012 at 7:32 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@Phillip IV
That reminds me of that old joke where the punch-line is that the Lord Gord must be a County Surveyor (as appropriate, plese substitute your local gov’mint operative who does planning/zoning) because no one else would think to put the playground right next to the sewage works!
Modusoperandi
May 16, 2012 at 9:19 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ace of Sevens “When people say ‘in my day’ they don’t mean there was some 24-hour period that belonged to them.”
Pah! It wasn’t like that back in my day. “Modusoperanday”, we called it. “Can’t wait for Modusoperanday.” we’d say. Had to turn it in for scrap to build helmets for the War, but it was a small price to pay to stick it to the Kaiser.
dingojack
May 16, 2012 at 9:53 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
MO – You had to sell Modousoperanday for scrap? That’s terrible!
As it happens, I have several days I’m prepared to let you have, for a reasonable price. Could I interest you in a Greek Kalend?
Dingo
heddle
May 16, 2012 at 10:13 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Tony,
That is silly comment. The Hebrew word translated as day in Genesis is yom. It can indeed mean a 24 hour period or an indeterminate period. (Just like the word day: “I will be there in one day.” “The day of the dinosaurs.” “My grandfather’s day”.
There are many legitimate criticisms of the OEC view of “Day Age Theory.” But the one you mention is not one of them. Whodathunk?
The Lorax
May 16, 2012 at 10:25 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Point of technicality, trolls are generally aware of what they’re doing; they intentionally poke and prod in order to make people upset. They don’t believe in what they’re saying, they’re just using words to piss others off. Essentially, they are the practical jokers of the Internet.
This guy isn’t a troll, he’s an idiot.
raven
May 16, 2012 at 10:46 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The early parts of the OT are polytheistic.
God used to have a wife, Asherah. She got written out by later authors but is still mentioned frequently, always negatively.
Just how powerful is this god anyway? He couldn’t even keep humans from getting rid of his own wife?
Modusoperandi
May 16, 2012 at 11:27 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
raven “…Asherah…”
Gesundheit.
arakasi
May 16, 2012 at 11:37 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Fortunately for the chipmunk, she let the porcupine cut in front of her in line…
Michael Heath
May 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
raven writes:
Could you provide a couple of passages where this character’s mentioned? I did a key-word search of the RSV and didn’t find that name at all.