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May 08 2012

Bachmann: God Called Me to ‘Mistake-Free’ Campaign

Michele Bachmann appeared on the 700 Club with David Brody and repeated her assertion that God called her to run for president. She thinks he did that so she could oppose health care reform, as if no one else was going to do that. Of course, maybe she would have been a more effective spokesman for that cause if she hadn’t declared publicly that vaccines cause mental retardation.

Even more amusingly, she says that she ran an “almost mistake-free” campaign. The only two mistakes she made, she said, were misstating Elvis’ birthday and John Wayne Gacy’s birthplace. Right Wing Watch points out a few other, far more serious mistakes:

Many might beg to differ, as she misplaced the first battle of the Revolutionary Warsaid the HPV vaccine causes mental retardationcalled John Quincy Adams a Founding Father to back up her claim that the Founders actually opposed slavery and linked the Swine Flu to Democratic presidentsamong countless others.

The woman is absolutely delusional.

13 comments

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  1. 1
    dingojack

    So god called you to lead an ‘almost mistake free’ campaign eh Michele?
    So you screwed it up then. God will be so disappointed in you (and you know what god does to those he’s disappointed in? No? Look up ‘The Great Flood’ in your Great Big Book of Fairy-tales).
    Looks like you need to buy a disused clay quarry and then try jumping high enough off the ground that the fall ‘bursts your belly asunder’!
    Dingo

  2. 2
    DaveL

    Many might beg to differ, as she misplaced the first battle of the Revolutionary War, said the HPV vaccine causes mental retardation, called John Quincy Adams a Founding Father to back up her claim that the Founders actually opposed slavery and linked the Swine Flu to Democratic presidents, among countless others.

    Well yes, there is that. However, compared to the colossal mistake that would have been her winning the GOP nomination, let alone the presidency, those are nothing.

  3. 3
    eric

    The only two mistakes she made, she said, were misstating Elvis’ birthday and John Wayne Gacy’s birthplace.

    In that case, judging from primary returns republicans must REALLY hate it when you get Elvis’ birthday wrong.

  4. 4
    Christoph Burschka

    Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, Herman Cain, Rick Perry… man, God can’t even get a candidate through his own party’s primaries, despite stacking the deck. Maybe he should just pack it in.

    (Of course, he’ll cheat and claim he was rooting for Mitt Romney all along; mysterious ways and whatnot.)

  5. 5
    raven

    The woman is absolutely delusional.

    True.

    My latest theory is that believing in fundie xian nonsense causes cognitive impairment. Bachmann, Perry, Cain, and Santorum all show it.

    There is nothing obviously organic wrong with Bachmann’s mind. She did get a college degree, a law degree, and must have passed the bar exam. She, at one time at least, was not stupid.

    It shows when the christofascist party has to end up nominating a nonXian as their presidential candidate, Romney, the Mormon.

  6. 6
    d cwilson

    So, despite gawd’s best efforts in hedging his bets by annointing five chosen ones (Bachmann, Perry, Cain, Gingrich, and Santorum), all the evangelical and fundie candidates have fallen by the wayside and America is poised to elect either an Atheistmuslim or magic underwear wearing Mormon cultist.

    Good job.

  7. 7
    John Hinkle

    She thinks he [god] did that so she could oppose health care reform, as if no one else was going to do that.

    I’m conflicted on this. Jesus was good with the healing touch, and even raised a stinky dead guy back to life. So why would god-in-a-meatsuit oppose health care? On the other hand, Pops God was pretty good at the smiting, or having proxy tribes do it for him. Not so much on the healing thing. So how to decide this?

    I think we need arbitration.

    Holy Ghost? Please check your email.

  8. 8
    Marcus Ranum

    It shows when the christofascist party has to end up nominating a nonXian as their presidential candidate, Romney, the Mormon.

    Ohhhhh, no – mormons are christians. Let’s not let the christians get away with disowning their crazies. It drives ‘em nuts when you ask them to explain why the mormon’s aren’t christian and why all the other various other mutually excommunicating christian sects still are.

    The best is when you back them into the corner of saying “it’s a cult!” and you ask them to explain how to tell a cultist from a christian. You can be sure it fills them to the brim with the light of the lord, and they go home and kick their children.

  9. 9
    LightningRose

    Michele Bachmann’s two biggest mistakes were being born female and targeting the demographic most likely to believe women should be kept barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

  10. 10
    Modusoperandi

    John Hinkle “Jesus was good with the healing touch, and even raised a stinky dead guy back to life. So why would god-in-a-meatsuit oppose health care?”
    Oh, come on! It’s right there in the Parable of the Free Market Samaritan! You know, the one where the poor person gets injured and the Samaritan prevents the Roman State from giving him assistance of any kind.

  11. 11
    cag

    Of course, maybe she would have been a more effective spokesman for that cause if she hadn’t declared publicly that vaccines cause mental retardation.

    Bachmann was (undoubtedly) vaccinated. Does that not increase faith that vaccines cause mental retardation. /stupid conclusion

  12. 12
    Aliasalpha

    It might make it a bit long but I think the title of this article needs improvement, how about:

    Bachmann (Outer Dialogue): God Called Me to ‘Mistake-Free’ Campaign
    Bachmann (Inner Dialogue): I knew I shoulda turned left at albuquerque

  13. 13
    democommie

    Well, we won’t have Missy to kick around anymore:

    http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2012/05/08/bachmann-a-swiss-citizen/

    I mean, she will be moving to Switzerland, Ja?

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